Strange Calm
You’re eating dinner at a restaurant over looking the beach…. You notice people go up to the T.V. Your friends look at you and ask what’s going on? You say “probably another bomb”. Five minutes later everyone is back to their seats. You over hear people saying something about a bombing at Zouk Mousbah’s industrial region, and then a quick check…. “Nope, don’t know anyone there”… And within 10 minutes everything is back to normal, people eating, drinking, laughing, and puffing on their water pipes. A strange calmness like nothing out of the ordinary has happened. Only a few phones ring.
I remember when the bombings first started a couple of years ago… As soon as a bomb went off… My phone would start ringing off the hook. My parents would call from Saudi, my cousins from UAE, my friends from all over Lebanon. We would cancel our plans and stay home. A month of that and then we figured out that never do two bombs go off in the same night and so for a while we would wait till we heard a bomb went off and then we would make plans to go out…. SICK, I know… The bombs stopped after a while and political assassinations started to become more popular. And well as long as you weren’t a politician or an out spoken journalist, you were fine and so life as usual.
The bombs started again on May 21st, the day after the army raided Fatah Al Islam safe house. I was sleeping and I woke up to the phone ringing. It was midnight, a minute after my brother walks into my room… “They started bombing again”… And so since then every few days a bomb would go off somewhere. At the beginning, you call your friends, people call you and you are glued to the T.V. following the live coverage. Shops closed early, People didn’t go out past 9. People organized neighborhood watch.
Eventually you become desensitized. Shop owners start fixing their damaged storefronts with in hours of a bombing. You go back and shop at those areas that were bombed cause you think to yourself “the probability of them bombing the same place twice is not likely”. You reduce your bombing call list to those that live in the area of the bombing. And the only time you panic is when you are on the road between 9 p.m. and midnight fearing that they might bomb an area as you pass by it…. But once you reach your destination your mind goes numb and you go on enjoying the rest of your night. It’s strange…. But I remember reading an article once about the mind of those who lived in Lebanon during the civil war and how they effectively went on with their daily lives and only when the war was over did they finally break down.
June 10th, 2007 at 7:13 am
This sounds oddly familiar. Of course the circumstances are different but the basics are the same so I can certainly relate. You’re probably on the tougher end of things, though things in Israel can definitely get hectic too. But after a while, you have no other choice but to get used to it. I’m not sure if that’s a good or a bad thing. Perhaps a little bit of both.
June 10th, 2007 at 7:14 am
When I hear bombings and fighting in Lebanon my thoughts are with you because of this blog, and I always hope you’re okay.
June 10th, 2007 at 9:55 am
Our Body has a certain Defense Mechanism that is able to numb Parts of our Brain….when we’re dealing with Intense Experiences….
Teta just went back to Lebanon not too long ago….I could never understand why she’d want to go there at a Time like this….
She has a Nervous Condition brought on by the Bombings….every loud Noise makes her tremble….especially at Night…
But it’s where her Heart is….and we all know the Heart wins over the Mind any Day….
Strangly the other Day I felt like I don’t belong in this Place either….
Try to stay safe Samar….
June 10th, 2007 at 10:04 am
Re: “But I remember reading an article once about the mind of those who lived in Lebanon during the civil war and how they effectively went on with their daily lives and only when the war was over did they finally break down.”
Now I will remember reading this sentence about you remembering that article. Stays with you.
I think of you quite often Samar and appreciate what you share here. Sometimes I am |thisclose| to commenting but can’t find the words. So instead I say something stupid and fan-ish to a matthew good post instead.
June 10th, 2007 at 10:40 am
You’re amazing and it’s tragic that this has become “the norm” for you. It sounds almost like the bombs have become mere “speedbumps” and you slow down for a minute until you get over them and get moving again. What an awful way to have to live…I can’t even imagine. Be safe dear girl and, again, thanks for your strength in posting here.
June 10th, 2007 at 12:12 pm
The fact that one can become “desensitized” to bombings is a sad and scary thing. But really, if that can happen to people that are involved first hand and are in actual danger, then it makes more sense that people here in North America seem to become desensitized to the reports of such things on television. It’s too bad that this occurs, this complacency.
June 10th, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Maybe it’s not so much being desensitized to the whole situation as it is more trying to find some sense of normalcy in a climate of unpredictability. Not knowing when or where bombings will occur should not hinder a person from living his/her life. I suppose that one cannot or should not cower in fear trapped in their homes. A case of making the best of the situation?
Just a few thoughts…
Stay safe, Samar. Each time you post here, we know you’re okay.
June 11th, 2007 at 7:33 am
Its astounding what one can begin to consider ‘normal’. Reading this was like reading a story of my life. The violence in Lebanon is much worse than it ever got for me, but I do remember telling someone a story about how I used to fall asleep at night back home. You wait for the gunfire. If you hear automatic weapons far away, you know it isnt coming to your area that night and you can sleep well. It truly is a shame when violence becomes the norm, and you cant sleep at night because there is no gunfire to focus on. I know entirely too many people for whom this is true.
Stay safe.
September 2nd, 2007 at 9:49 pm
[...] bomb many sites all over Lebanon, creating a sense of fear which led the people to follow their own curfew. After three months & 13 days, the death of 220 people, including 158 troops, and the [...]