I don’t know about you, but I’m excited. Why am I excited? Because season three of The Hills starts tonight on MTV (like you didn’t know!).
What is ‘The Hills’. Well, the term itself refers to Hollywood. If you’ve never been, there are a lot places in LA that are referred to as ‘hills’, such as Beverly Hills, the Hollywood Hills, and so forth. The Hills, as in the show not that actual hills themselves, follows the trials and tribulations of four stunning beauties as they struggle through important issues that we all face.
For example, this season Whitney gets her first real job after graduating from college, which causes her a great deal of stress. She also has to deal with being newly single, which, as we’re all aware, is probably the worst thing that can happen to a person, be they on a glamorous television show or not!
How will she handle both? Will she crack under the pressure and have a major break down and find herself laid up with some strange man in the penthouse of the Mandrian? Only time will tell.
As for Audrina, she’ll be doing her best to handle her first real boyfriend, which, compared to Whitney’s troubles, is far worse. Her roommate Lauren likes to party, is single, and that can only mean one thing – that she’s going to drag Audrina out with her everywhere she goes and let single men buy them both drinks. Being that they’ll be scantily clad and sporting the sort of attitudes that European royalty once owned the exclusive rights to, they’ll no doubt find themselves in a world of trouble when the tabs start rolling in and they tell the men that have been buying them 20 dollar drinks all night that they ‘have to go’. Audrina’s sure to lose that boyfriend fast, causing her irreversible psychological damage. If only she’d just let him take her to a dugout at some community park baseball field in the Valley like Jennifer Jason Leigh did at the beginning of Fast Times.
Yep, season three is shaping up to be quite the rollercoaster ride of emotions, trials, and tribulations. How will the girls survive it all? God only knows. One thing is for sure though, their problems directly reflect those faced by the majority of young women out there who never had to pay their way through college with two jobs and somehow are able to face such trying times in the highest of fashions, dripping with the latest accessories.
Meanwhile, in Afghanistan, British soldiers face a 1 in 36 chance of being killed. Of course, tonight, those 35 British troops that are still alive will be tuning in to watch the premier of the third season of The Hills, which I’m sure they’re as excited about as I am.
The main concern now is what will happen if the power goes out in Baghdad while the show’s on? I sure hope it doesn’t lead to widespread violence.
Oh, wait…
In Addition
Editor’s Note: Matthew hasn’t seen a single episode of this show. In fact, he doesn’t even own a television. All of the information presented in this entry was taken from the show’s website and then entirely altered to fit the author’s blatantly obvious leftist agenda.