Roy’s Weekly Net Finds
Roy always sends me the very best in crazy internet finds. The last few days have been no different. The picture to your immediate right was taken from today’s Los Angeles Times. It reads - Accent Elimination. Sound American. 310-930-8070. Free Consultation.
Now, given that there are countless accents throughout the United States, one wonders if you get to choose a specific one. For example, what if you wanted to sound like a New Englander? Or, for that matter, born and bred in Brooklyn? What if you wanted to sport one of dozens of regional Southern accents, or perhaps something resembling the greater population of Minnesota?
Being that the United States is a giant cultural melting pot, what if you’re as white-bred as they come and want to learn to speak with a Latin influenced accent? Or, for that matter, one of dozens of other accents? It seems to me that if you’re an American citizen then you’re American, no matter what accent you happen to have. To think otherwise would be, well, rather un-American, don’t you think? And hey, that’s not very patriotic, now is it? I mean, what do you say to members of the US military that have served overseas that happen to possess, for example, Mexican-American accents? That they’re somehow less American?
Roy’s second great find this week is a blog entitled hot chicks with douchebags. In short, it’s a blog about hot chicks with douchebags.
Obviously I can’t comment on any of the gentlemen in the photographs on the website, nor the women, as I don’t know them, nor their circumstances. As a person that was once very much in love with someone who played him like a bad hand of poker, to some extent I feel some sympathy for some of them because their wealth probably has something to do with the fact that there’s an attractive girl hanging on their arm. And while I will freely admit that men should know better and be able to call a spade a spade, it can’t be overlooked that some of us couldn’t get a date in high school to save our lives and therefore are willing to stick our heads up our asses for prolonged periods of time and refuse to acknowledge the truth of such situations. I am certainly guilty of that, as are numerous others I’m sure. The kicker, of course, is that hot chicks usually remain pretty hot, and thus simply find new douchebags to placate their overwhelming desire to own more designer purses than the rest of the known female world put together.
Then again, it could also be the other way around. The usury of such women is obviously quite rampant as well, so it’s not as if they’ve nothing to fear either. That goes for females in general, truth be told. They are daily bombarded with images that are designed to feed on their insecurities, a reality that has, in truth, affected generations.
A Little Paris Hilton Hilarity To End Things
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October 2nd, 2007 at 11:49 am
I guess the accent thing is probably another way to make the US as homogeneous as possible. I’m not really sure too if you can “eliminate” an accent since you are just working on having a different one. Hopefully this won’t lead to the creation of a universal American accent since the US seems to assimilate enough things already.
October 2nd, 2007 at 11:49 am
I took a photo of one of those signs while I was in LA last year. Mine only offers ‘American Standard’ though, whatever that is.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/soozy/212682659/in/set-72157594233289075/
October 2nd, 2007 at 12:24 pm
As proper standards of journalism dictate… I must give credit to one Mr. Tony Pierce for the Hot Chicks with Douchebags site, as I came across that link via his LAist site…
October 2nd, 2007 at 12:48 pm
“film star, recording artist, and entrepreneur”
hilarious plus pathetic equals po-mo celebrity
October 2nd, 2007 at 12:52 pm
Wow- that site certainly has a plethora of douchebags and a commodity of very confused women. I especially like the Velvet Fog, or what fucking ever he calls himself.
Now, Paris Hilton is all like about Rwanda and like- next thing that we will hear are that Rwandans are hot! WEll at least she won’t get the scurvy. OMG brilliant interview with Letterman- what a riot.
October 2nd, 2007 at 1:28 pm
If anything, I feel really badly for some of those women on that “hot chicks with douchebags” website. Some of them are really exploiting themselves without even knowing it. Not to mention these photos taken of them aren’t even private or privated dispered among friends, but all over the web, which is embarrassing considering the way the males in the photos seem to be holding these women more like props than anything else.
Some of those guys look pretty regular and the website on the whole seems pretty stupid and misdirected.
October 2nd, 2007 at 1:32 pm
Heh, but on the Paris Hilton on Letter video…
I didn’t even know before this that I could stand to sit and watch ten minutes of Letterman, but this, this was too awesome.
October 2nd, 2007 at 1:33 pm
I always get a kick out of people who tell me I have an accent. I tell them to guess where I’m from. Nobody gets it right ever. Then I lie and tell them I’m from Alabama or Jamaica.
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:01 pm
If you think that’s fun, you should try this on for size:
My mom was born in Portland, ME
My dad was born in Brush, CO
I was born in southern Nebraska.
Through the course of my lifetime, I lived in CO, TX and OR. Like most kids who move a lot, my accent tends to drift. Mine tends to go between the bland nonaccent of CO, the TX drawl (which I can lay on thick when asking for directions), and that lovely standby for all smartassery, the New Englander. I get a lot of “where the hell are you from?” questions from customers.
It’s…. interesting.
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:04 pm
I like my Accent….
why would I want to get rid of it….
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I do enjoy how everyone is brought up to believe that the way they speak is the ‘proper’ way, and that everyone else speaks with an accent. This is especially funny in North America since most people are brought up to believe that English people speak funny, whereas in reality, if anyone can make claim to speaking English properly, it’s the English (and even they have quite a bit of diversity in accents for such a small place).
I probably have some sort of East Coast accent, but I never really notice a difference when I hear westerners speak. There are supposedly three strong Atlantic accents: Newfoundland, Cape Breton, and Miramichi. I am from Miramichi, but have been told that I don’t have the accent…it’s strange how that works though, because before moving to Fredericton, I didn’t realize there was a Miramichi accent.
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:10 pm
I love the different accents that distinguish each individual… each person is different from the next.
I do LOVE the “Canadian Accent ” … oout and aboout..eh?.. proocesses.. seriously love it!!!
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:12 pm
Oh Dave…as per usual- you put a smile onmy face…Did you see how Paris started to squirm in her chair? LOL I love how he never let it go… kind of mean- but how pleasing to watch.
Maybe all Americans should acquire Paris’ valley-girl accent. That would be like- so hot!
ugh.
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:17 pm
[quote comment="27891"]Some of those guys look pretty regular and the website on the whole seems pretty stupid and misdirected.[/quote]
Really? I only briefly scrolled down to see what the site was all about, and I found most of the guys on the site looked humourously lame. I’m not saying that I necessarily look good in pictures, but I’d choose my nerdy appearance over their douchebag appearance any day.
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:24 pm
I’m one of those douchbags.
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:45 pm
Oh patrick..LOL Do you walk around in little army fruit of the looms with your boys hangin out the bottom??? Like there’s a squirrel in there fighting to get out?…hehehe…
I spent only about 2 minutes scrolling through that site- and some of the grrls look as rediculous as the guys so…I was however, kind of thrown off guard by the guy with four collars …did you see that? I was taken a back..i have never seen someone wear four or five shirts with all the collars turned up… to each their own…. tho i cringe…
October 2nd, 2007 at 2:48 pm
“And while I will freely admit that men should know better and be able to call a spade a spade, it can’t be overlooked that some of us couldn’t get a date in high school to save our lives and therefore are willing to stick our heads up our asses for prolonged periods of time and refuse to acknowledge the truth of such situations.”
lol….funniest and most truthful statement of the day
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:00 pm
[quote comment="27906"]Oh patrick..LOL Do you walk around in little army fruit of the looms with your boys hangin out the bottom??? Like there’s a squirrel in there fighting to get out?…hehehe…
I spent only about 2 minutes scrolling through that site- and some of the grrls look as rediculous as the guys so…I was however, kind of thrown off guard by the guy with four collars …did you see that? I was taken a back..i have never seen someone wear four or five shirts with all the collars turned up… to each their own…. tho i cringe…[/quote]
HAHAHH, that was brilliant- i don’t even know what year that’s from. 1985? Along with the “I wear my sunglasses at night” look?
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:28 pm
Just in case you weren’t aware Matt, you are VERY hot and any woman would be lucky to call you her boyfriend/husband, etc. Someone had to say it….. ;) Looks aren’t everything, but you are definitely not lacking in that department.
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:39 pm
Yeh Matt, u r lyke seeeeeew hott hehehe…
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:43 pm
I think a lot of us had a hard time in high school- i mean- we were awkward and coming into our own- hey- so i wasn’t the nerd that couldn’t get the girl or the disillusioned cheerleader with all the friends- i was however labelled “a slut” ( when i completely wasn’t!!) and for that stayed far away from guys b/c i didn’t want people to think the label fit. i know now that it was all jealousy- but back then it was quite devastating . Grrls are an be nasty bitches can’t they?
And so, i have no idea why i felt the need to comment on that. Maybe you’re right- you may have had your head up your ass- but you were only trying to believe in the good of that person, and well, maybe you fell for a bad nut. You wanted different things-. (love vs. the bank acct). but look at you now, you could have almost anyone you wanted.. your wonderfully talented, uber intelligent, slightly flawed, witty and pleasing to the eyes…but you know all of that already-> just apply it to find the one right for you- for the right reasons- and dont be an ostrich this time;0)
October 2nd, 2007 at 3:54 pm
HCwD is in-douche-credible! The commentary is priceless.
October 2nd, 2007 at 4:29 pm
“Oh patrick..LOL Do you walk around in little army fruit of the looms with your boys hangin out the bottom??? Like there’s a squirrel in there fighting to get out?…hehehe”
You say that like it’s a strange thing!
October 2nd, 2007 at 4:35 pm
See- I’m not the only one who admires Matt for more than his musical talent. Thanks to bruiseviolet for putting it so eloquently!!! I wasn’t popular either in high school- which explains why I dated and then married someone from another high school in town. (And it is true, girls can be bitches so it was safer dating a guy no one knew.) As a matter of fact, he is the one who introduced me to Matt’s music. And it’s something I will always be grateful for.
October 2nd, 2007 at 5:04 pm
Man, that video was great…good laughs throughout.
When Dave joked about her being “a role model for youngsters”, I damn near hit the floor.
October 2nd, 2007 at 5:16 pm
My personal faves are the douchebags with the leathery orange tans… priceless…
October 2nd, 2007 at 5:57 pm
You can tell Pitt’s Irish from that. No self-respecting Scot would be caught with gotch on.
SWING FREE OR DIE!
October 2nd, 2007 at 6:16 pm
Ah yes Scotland…where the men are men and the sheep are scared.
October 2nd, 2007 at 7:46 pm
Hey Patt have you ever played Enemy force and bumped a bunch of sleep deprived SQ Candidates wearing a pink bunny suit? :)
October 2nd, 2007 at 8:08 pm
It all depends on how you interpret the sign. Maybe the sign is asking you if you have an American accent that you want to get rid of, as in “sound American?” and the company will help you get rid of your ‘American’ accent. It would make their travel abroad so much easier?
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:01 pm
Oh boy, here goes. I will spend 8 minutes wasting my time laughing at Paris!!!…
MG I feel I must clarify….. The purse in the pic I sent is a fake Fendi… I have Four Fake Fendi’s… why must my mother in law keep bringing them home for me from her trips? I love my first fake Fendi that is falling apart…. I don’t need 20 purses… Girly girls are so irritating. Sorry girlz, but you don’t need a milion purses.
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:04 pm
“Somebody you met in prison” = CLASSIC.. LMFAO.
Oh Paris, you gotta love her, she knew he was goona do that……. SHE KNEW!!!!!!!!!! And she loved every minute of that.. you tell me she didn’t love that!!!!!!! Anything to get on TV is ALL THAT MATTERS TO HER….. God it is so obvious…..
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:16 pm
it’s a sad world we live in when we suddenly feel the need to conform to some type of standard in order to be liked for someone we are made to feel we should be, rather than who we really are…that being said for any extremity of the scale.
there is nothing good to be said about people who are fake and i totally agree with Tanya…what the heck does one do with a million purses? i sure don’t…that and shoes!
nothing bothers me more than people who feel they have to conform to something in order to get by in life.
that douchebags site is priceless…thank you for making me smile today!
this post is brilliant sir!
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:25 pm
Leeeeeve…Parissssss….Aloooooooone….wahahahahhhhaaa
October 2nd, 2007 at 9:59 pm
“So Paris, how was the slammer”? She looooooooooooooved it….. don’t worry about Paris.. Paris will be F.I.N.E. fine.
Liss, I know, isn’t it a waste to have a million pair’s of shoes? When will we wear all those shoes? I like one pair of expensive footings, (because you can’t mess around with your footsies), and when that pair is gone, I get a new pair…. EASY and very worth it…
October 2nd, 2007 at 10:30 pm
hmmm i had thought the original saying went :
“scotland… where the men are men… and the sheep are nervous”
hands up who couldn’t get a friggin’ date in high school ?
or could only attract members of the faculty? :P
October 3rd, 2007 at 5:26 am
haha Tanya so true! my (younger) sister recently insisted that i start buying & wearing “girl shoes”, claiming that she liked when i wore them cuz it made me look like a “grown up”! give me flip flops any day!! hahaha
oh man…Paris…what a twit! “Paris, how did you get your nutrition in jail if you only ate breakfast?” “oh i just did sit ups and stuff in my cell” HAHAHA!
October 3rd, 2007 at 8:23 am
[quote comment="27949"]
hands up who couldn’t get a friggin’ date in high school ?
[/quote]
Hand up.
University is far more inconsistent. It seems that once I start seeing someone, then more people confirm that I’m a ‘catch’. When I am single however, I’m merely a “nice guy…but…”
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:51 am
*agrees with Nothingman*
…except in my case when i’m single i apparently have the “potential” to be a good person…
LOL
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:41 pm
[quote comment="27959"]haha Tanya so true! my (younger) sister recently insisted that i start buying & wearing “girl shoes”, claiming that she liked when i wore them cuz it made me look like a “grown up”!
give me flip flops any day!! hahaha
oh man…Paris…what a twit! “Paris, how did you get your nutrition in jail if you only ate breakfast?” “oh i just did sit ups and stuff in my cell” HAHAHA![/quote]
It’s all about comfort, because you can a new pair of feet. There was a study done recently that woman are KILLING their feet LITERALLY, all to look good……. .. sorry to anyone that wears the extremely pointy shoes, but I would love one person to come on here and tell me ‘they are attractive’.. I find them so ‘Wizard of Oz bad witch ish’
October 3rd, 2007 at 1:51 pm
“Hey Patt have you ever played Enemy force and bumped a bunch of sleep deprived SQ Candidates wearing a pink bunny suit? :)”
No- not that I recall - I once deployed a battery of M109’s while holding a yellow balloon though.
guigirl- scared, nervous does it matter? they’re stuck in scotland and ergo donc as good as skewered.
October 3rd, 2007 at 9:44 pm
Is there a complementary site to HCw/D ? “Nice Guys with Superficial, Snobby Bitches”? Matt, we could put you in a special “Survivor Stories” section. ;)
October 3rd, 2007 at 11:21 pm
“Is there a complementary site to HCw/D ?”
Sure there are…
millionairematch.com/sugardaddy.com - the latter’s tag line : “to bring together successful generous men and attractive women who love to be pampered, spoiled and supported”
First time I was aware of this, blew my mind.
Oddly enough it was one of my guy friends who first gave me a link to these sites. My successful smart nice guy pals, who have accounts on these sites, who seem to know what they are getting into…
So yeah I suppose so long as all parties are aware of who wants what out of any potential relationship … :P