Over the course of the tour we’ve watched a lot of DVD’s. One of my personal favourites to watch on a tour bus is the full-length version of Das Boot, basically because being on a tour bus is somewhat like being in a submarine, especially when you’re in bed (minus the depth charges, of course). Beyond that, the original made for German television version is amazing, so you can’t complain.
One of the other films that we’ve watched is The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy. Having seen it numerous times now, and while I realize it’s fantasy, I have some problems with it…
1) If the Nazgul are so powerful at the end of the film, why is Aragorn able to defeat them on Weathertop? Obviously it’s far different than what occurs in the book, but that’s beside the point. He basically takes on five of them with a sword and a torch and wins. If that’s the case, then why isn’t Gandalf able to kick their collective asses at the end of the film? After Faramir abandons Osgiliath, Gandalf rides out and dispels them with a blast of white light, but when the battle starts he seemingly has no power to stop them.
What’s up with that?
2) As you’ll recall, Gandalf is rescued from the tower of Orthanc by the giant eagle Gwahir. At the end of the film, Gwahir and his fellow giant eagles not only take on the remaining Nazgul with ease, but also rescue Frodo and Sam. So why, when the secret council was held at Rivendell, didn’t someone come up with the idea of using Gwahir and his posse of giant eagles to fly into Mordor to Mount Doom and toss the ring? It would have taken a week, tops.
What’s up with that?
3) How is Gandalf able to summon Shadowfax in seconds by whistling? Was he grazing conveniently nearby and, as luck would have it, heard Gandalf whistling?
What’s up with that?
4) How is it that when Frodo falls at the Inn Of The Prancing Pony the ring happens to defy all physical laws and land exactly on his finger?
What’s up with that?
5) When Sam wades into the Anduin when Frodo is attempting to leave, why does he go from being shoulder deep in water to drowning in what seems like 100 feet of it even though when Frodo rescues him they’re only about 15 feet from shore?
What’s up with that?
6) When Theoden and Aragorn ride out of the citadel at Helm’s Deep, why are they able to plough through thousands of Urukai as if they were cutting through butter when moments before they couldn’t hold the fortress?
Seriously, what’s up with that?
My next installment of What’s up with that? will deal with the Harry Potter films.
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Somehow I think I’m having a 12 hour movie marathon tomorrow, thanks a lot, Matt =P
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You forgot the part about the, oh, FIVE different false endings the third film had! You know, the homoerotic bed/Frodo-jumping scene? The boat? The coronation? etc. etc.
What’s up with that!?
Kudos for bringing up Das Boot. Wicked. Best submarine movie ever.
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Go to bed Jack! That is ENOUGH for tonight !
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You people are some serious nerds. Ha.
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In regards to point #2 - at that point, the Eye of Sauron had fallen because the Ring was already destroyed. Had the eagles tried to fly the Ring to Mount Doom themselves, Sauron would have probably spotted them very quickly. I haven’t read any fictional book in a long time, let alone one by Tolkien, but I got the impression that there were many more fell beasts than eagles.
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1) Appearently the Nazgul intentionally withdrew believing that their task was accomplished having stabbed Frodo who they thought would become a wraith and bring them the Ring.
2) They did battle with them but who knows if they could have won. They rushed back to Mordor when they heard Sauron’s call when Frodo put the ring on his finger.
3)Your guess is as good as mine.
4) There’s no explanation for it in the book. Frodo refers to it as an accident so who knows.
5) I don’t know what they were thinking.
6) From the book: “Down from the gates they roared, over the causeway they swept, and they drove through the hosts of Isengard as a wind among grass. Behind them from the Deep came the stern cries of men issuing from the caves, driving forth the enemy. Out poured all the men that were left upon the rock” All the men of Rohan charged in a last assualt and uruk-hai were destroyed when they were caught between them and Gandalf arriving with Erkenbrand and the men of westfold and the Ents.
Have you read the book? The movies don’t even begin to do it justice. It really is among the greatest works of literature.
Yeah I’m a huge LOTR geek.
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Haha, that’s really funny.
I haven’t done a movie marathon in a while; but, lately, since I’m unemployed and have a lot of free time on my hands, I’ve been watching a lot of Sex and the CIty. I had seen maybe 2 or 3 episodes before, but never got into it. Now I’ve watched seasons 1 and 2, and it’s actually pretty funny. I think it would be pretty insightful for guys as well, no joke. I seriously recommend watching it! A lot of the topics they cover are pretty realistic and they always deal with it in a funny manner. The only thing that I find kind of off is that the women are having sex with new guys like every other week. I don’t know if that’s how it really is in NYC, but I hope not. That is classified as whorish in my books..
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Ha ha, very insightful and sobering questions that are truly the product of many a late night.
Have you seen “How Lord of the Rings should have ended”? It directly addresses your solution put forth in point #2.
If the link displays properly, check out the video here: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnUvw1rzziE
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Well, that movie sure showed how to solve the “getting spotted” problem. Although, the attack on the Black Gate itself was a diversionary tactic anyway, and if they did it earlier, could have saved the destruction of half of Middle Earth. Hm..
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ok matt… these are my answers:
1: Aragorn is able to defeat them because of their distance from the power of the all seeing eye. Sauron has no body and so is weak in strength, his strength is directly affecting to the black riders. also, although Gandalf is able to “Shock” the Nazgul into flight he is not capable of defeating them on his own. Gandalf’s light is due to him having a ring of light himself, which although powerful is only good for a small distraction.
2. The eagles is basically because Sauron is gone, when alive the power of the Nazgul would be far to strong for the eagles. Also, if the eagles where to carry the ring they would fall under its spell… although they could have carried frodo…. in any case… Sauron needed to be dead before the eagles could stop the Nazgul and freely attack mount doom.
3. Shadowfax is the king of horses, he is able to travel very far very fast.. also hear farther and better then other horses…. also Gandalf is a wizard and is able to call to Shadowfax from far distances… but yes in this case he was grazing near by.
4. your right…. the ring has its own will… much as it willed itself to fall from Gollums finger to be found by Bilbo, the ring can and does force itself to move slightly when “fate” would deem it necessary
5. Hobbits can’t swim… they are horrified by water… water is the anti-hobbit… Sam could easily drown in a very little bit of water… basically because of his own fears.
6. The dieing breaths of heroism. The last charge. if Gandolf hadn’t showed up.. they would have died. their success was limited only to a few moments of the rush.
thank you for your time…. also, Sarnia was an amazing show.. thanks for signing my weapon poster.
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Quoting 14giants:
you mean that version i got with the hobbit porn wasnt the real ending?
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“why is Aragorn able to defeat them on Weathertop?”
actually, you could also ask why he never tried this at the Prancing Pony, where not only do they have materials to trick the Nazgul, there would have been enough men in Bree to actually stage an attack on the Riders. I know Butterbur isn’t exactly the most courageous inn keeper, but im sure he could have rounded up a few men if Aragorn had asked him to.
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I gotta agree with the earlier posts, the worst of it all was literally the like 8 times at the end of the movie (ROTK) where they made you think “OK this is really the last scene”. Everytime I saw it I just pictured in my mind listening to the director commentary with Peter Jackson yelling “OHHHH SNAP SON! YOU THOUGHT IT WAS OVER AGAIN DIDNT YOU? SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWN!”.
And like the third time I saw it (ROTK), I saw this couple get up and walk down to stand by the exit so they could watch the “last minute” and I started laughing cause I knew they were gonna be standing there for like another 15 minutes.
Oh and how has nobody yet mentioned “Backdoor Sluts 9″?
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Did you ever read the books?
I got through all of Chapter 1; A page and half description of a tree just lost my interests and I love trees.
The Hobbit, on the other hand was GREAT!
Perhaps the director had an issue with “depth” perception…I dunno.
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Matt…. it’s simple. It’s Peter fucking Jackson. King kong ain’t got shit on him!!
So how did Peter Jackson fuck up a movie like King Kong? What’s up with that??
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Jokes aout LOTR? What’s up with that!?!?!
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LOL That was really funny ! ! Thanks, this is just what I needed this morning to start the day on a better note.
Can’t wait for the Potter version !
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next there will be one about star wars and the convo from clerks2 is gonna break out
STAR WARS vs LOTR who wins? you decide
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Now I want to watch LOTR again. Damn you.
See you tonight in Waterloo, Matt!
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What about the one where the president appraises the guy he will eventually fire for shady references?
That’s up with THAT?
Oh wait
That’s reality
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Das Boot is awesome but so depressing.
I am in no position to comment on Lord of the Rings. Anyway anybody else find the books a painful bore to read, save the Hobbit? I really tried to like it but………….I just can’t get into it.
Can’t believe you’re probably in Waterloo right now. I have about 10 assignments to do but I don’t give a damn. You should take a stroll down the campus. It’s no Queens but its got its own little charms I suppose.
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to answer 6….
it’s simple physics. which of the two parties in question, the riders or the Urukai, is generating more force? the correct answer is the riders. they’re traveling at a higher initial speed and the horses are bigger and more powerful, thus the force enacted UPON the Urukai is greater and they must be displaced, in this case by the riders. another factor working against the Urukai is that they are on a narrow ledge. when they’re pushed, there’s nothing for them to brace against to provide resistance, as opposed to a bunch of them on a field where they can’t be displaced as easily because of their close proximity to each other. in this case, the only place for them to go when pushed is off the side of the infinity edge ledge and into the abyss, sans resistance.
the moral of the story is if you want to invade a place like helms deep, make sure there’s like a solid railing or something…geez….
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1. The Nazgul get more power closer to Mordor, as does the ring, because their walkie talkies get better range. Also, all the wizards try and be incognito. When Gandalf is shooting those beams, he’s just showboating… getting reborn from death tends to go to a wizard’s head…
2. The Eagles were on loan to America until Oil was discovered in Mordor.
3. Shadowfax is actually a de-horned Unicorn, and like all Unicorns, can alter the space-time continuum when unsaddled.
4. Hobbits only have half-gravity.
5. Sam was faking drowning in hopes Frodo would attempt CPR.
6. Kings always take half damage and roll 20 sided die.
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And here I thought your commentary on Das Boot at the show was a joke !
I also recommend “Gone With The Wind” .
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Quoting dlogan:
Nicely done. That made me laugh
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Matt - all I have to say is points for the use of “kick their collective asses” and “posse”
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Please make Star Wars the third installment :D
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Quoting Ands:
Mr. Big rules. What a man…
I love that series, it always makes me laugh.
p.s I can’t WAIT to get to New York. Although not because of the sleeping with a new guy every week thing, and I don’t think that’s what the girls were doing (except for Samantha, of course she was). They just slept with nearly every guy they dated a few times.
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Matt Good - Celebrity Dungeon Master???
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Now I’m waiting for the Harry Potter installment.
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GEEK! :)
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Lord Of The Ringzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
Good god Matthew. Maybe you should have eaten more salted pork to ward off that scurvy
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My Halloween party drunken self wondered if I was imagining this post last night, ha ha. Then it somehow made me have a dream that Dale Mugford brought a lasagna to my house…but I had a hard time letting him in because there was a couch blocking the door. Hello, random.
I can’t wait to read your take on HP, and I see that someone else beat me to the suggestion of Star Wars for the third installment (but really, just the new ones - old ones are beyond criticism, no?).
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nerds. all of you.
i was just thinking about LOTR the other day. i want to have another marathon! who’s with me? :)
can’t wait til your next installment! :D
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Oh no….I didn’t read closely enough regarding the Harry Potter installment issue.
I have to email Bee now and tell her not to read your blog for a few days, she’s a LOTR and HP dork (I had to sit through 4 viewing of both sets of films just to keep her company) and uh…well, I’d hate to see her get all excited at the prospect of arguing both issues with everyone, complete with referenced quotes from the books, ect.
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Das Boot……definitaly a good Film….
especially having been in a german U - Boot before
You know what’s crazier than being in a Submarine?
Being in a massive Panzer swimming on Water….
it’s loud enough to drive you insane…
Never seen Lord of the Rings…
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I wasn’t looking for actual answers there guys. I have read the trilogy numerous times. I was joking around :)
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Very Funny!
Harry Potter, can’t wait.
What’s up with that?
Speaking of What’ up with that…. tell my why people are still out trick-or-treating at 9:30 at night? What is up with THAT? Don’t some people ever stop? I mean you can get candy at the store for heaven’s sake. I shut off all the lights and still rather large teenagers were knocking away? I think they must have been on crack. Or all hopped up on sugar. What’s up with THAT?
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Quoting Matthew Good:
oh lordy
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omfg HILARIOUS.
Now I must seek out Das Boot…I love Foreign Films.
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Quoting Ashleigh-Dawn:
Well the movie ain’t going to be hilarious, I’ll tell you that much. Might I suggest that if you want to liken your bus ride to Das Boot you stay away from bus stations?
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Go to Youtube, there is a really great set of shorts done by…somebody of genius…telling how certain movies should have ended. In the search engine just type…how Lord of the Rings should have ended. Its done in cartoons, but its brilliant.
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Quoting DaveBags:
yes, I know…I have heard of it before.:)
they were two separate thoughts…
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what is up with that wallflower.
Or, what is up with my Russian Prof. scheduling our midterm at 7pm on Hallowe’en, because he’s “unfamiliar with our holidays.”
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Ah, Das Boot. I saw the 330 minute version at Cinematheque in Winnipeg many years ago. We actually got an intermission around the 3 hour mark. That sticks in my memory as one of the coolest movie-going experiences in my life.
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Spare us Harry Potter please.
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OH! Harry Potter. I can’t wait to hear that one. =)
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I saw that last Harry Potter film on the way to Ottawa this trip. I’m amazed that after all these movies, he’s still rather wimpy.
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Haha, that’s great… Yes, the books are far better than the movies.
Can’t wait for the Harry Potter post! haha
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This post reminds me of my boyfriend and his friends sitting around watching these movies for the millionth time in a row, great minds think alike? Or just geeky minds?
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Quoting Duane Storey:
It’s not his fault, he’s British. :)
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OK first. We’re not nerds. We’re geeks. Nerds like algebra, rulers, homework and $50 pens. Geeks like computers, Star Wars, anime and video games. There’s a big fucking difference. Yes. There Is.
The best comment on the reception of LOTR vs. Harry Potter and their reputation among people: The South Park episode “Return Of The Fellowship Of The Ring To The Two Towers”. All the South Park boys are all playing LOTR, and they pass by a group of kids dressed in cloaks.
Cartman: Uhh. What are you doing?
Kid: Oh, why, we’re playing Harry Potter!
PAUSE
Cartman: HA! FAAAAGS!
Oh the hypocrisy. So true though, everyone acts like they’d blow Tolkien given half a chance, then when another well written (though they’re very different) fantasy series comes out everyones like “Oh you’re just a pussy bitch. Harry Potters a homo.”
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I recall reading an article years ago before the films came out about how to teach Tolkien to kids. A teacher somewhere in the Eastern United States had taken it upon herself to read the Lord of the Rings to her class of 5th grade students. She then had them do various projects to tease out the themes and apply themselves to the text. One student drew a picture of Gwahir flying over top mount doom. When she asked him what it was all about, he said: “That’s how I would have done it. They walked too far and it took too long. Why not just get the eagles to fly in and drop the ring in the mountain.” I remember laughing my butt off when I read that, thinking that kids truly are the pinnacle of genius and its all down hill after that.
But you’re right. What’s up with that? I suppose if Tolkien had done it the “smart” way, academia wouldn’t have the golden epic on which to compare all subsequent fantasy fiction.
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I have a ‘what’s up with that’ question regarding Harry…
Everyone seems to be jumping all over J.K. Rowling about not telling us sooner that Gandledorf? bats for the other team. Maybe she didn’t realize until now that he’s gay; didn’t anyone think of that?
What’s up with that?
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I’d ask you to do a, “What’s up with that?” entry regarding Star Wars I, II, and III (the more modern ones), but you’d probably have to devote weeks to it and even then, it’s not worth it, since they were so atrocious.
Hey, George, what’s up with that?
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the best way to explain this matt is simple……the answer to every one of your questions is….MAGIC DID IT!!magic explains everything possible and impossible in lord of the rings
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i like Battlestar Galactica… the newer one.
so does that make me a nerd or a geek or a neek or a gerd or a nerdgeek or a geeknerd?
can you tell i’m REALLY bored?
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Ah geeks are fun.
Count me amung those who are thinking about a LOTR marathon. However, it will have to be put off until the January at the earliest I’m afraid. I’m just about to start season two of Lost again because I need my monthly fix. Fuck you ABC for severly delaying season four!
Now THERE’S a “What’s up with that?” commentary waiting to happen. :p
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i have never watched a single episode of Lost before.
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That’s what you get, Matthew, when you start a convo on the topic of Lord of the Rings.
And no offense for those who love Harry, but I just recently seperated from him and prefer not to see any further details of him! :)
But I guess do as ye will as long as ye harm none is the golden rule!
I love the answers to the questions though…lets me know that witches and magic are still alive and kicking in some of us kids!!! Hehe
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Quoting Kinu:
You should. It’s fun. :)
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Have you ever tried to watch the extended versions of all three films in their entireties - extra features and all? It takes days!
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Quoting Miss Emily:
hmm… i’ve been told to watch the show many times. almost all of my friends watch it too.
MAYBE i’ll get around to it… one day…
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Du hast Recht Matt !!! Das Boot is brilliant. Prost !!!
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Quoting rupert:
i’ve watched all three extended… but watching the extra features along with it? that’s crazy talk!
have you tried it?
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You have angered the lore-geeks! Or at least given them a verbal wedgie by pointing out alleged inconsistencies.
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Not to sell myself out as an übergeek, but a lot of you guys have it all wrong about the eagles. They essentially played the role of watchmen for the Valar (the gods) and as such, were not tools to be used at the whim of of those who inhabited Middle-Earth. They were there in the first age to watch over those Elves exiled from Valinor and over Melkor (the first dark lord). When the eagles show up, you could think of it as being done at the will of the Valar, rather than at the behest of men or elves. But as a rule, they do not involve themselves in Middle-Earth affairs. If you’re interested in learning about Middle-Earth history, I recommend trying to get through The Silmarillion a at least once. [/geek mode]
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Haha, you would probably enjoy this link
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JnUvw1rzziE
how the lord of the rings should have ended
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Jack Bauer would have taken care of all of this in under a day…..AND without even stopping to eat or take a piss!
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I think I’m having a nerdgasm.
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AWWW Jon Dehm, sorry about your Russian Prof, what is up with that. Tell him to get a calendar, or buy him one, all the holidays are there.
And as for LOST, what is going to be up with that if the writers go out on strike? Do you think that they would have enough “in the can” to tide us through? I bet not.
I bet Gandalf was gay too.
Now I have to watch LOTR again in a whole new light. I love this!
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how did this post got so many response while other more important post are being portrayed whats up with that
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Maybe to some, this is the ‘more important’ post.
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The answer to all of these questions is simple
A wizard did it.
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Have you ever watched the movies with the actors commentary on?
You get to hear all the little inside tidbits and tricks that they used at particular scenes.
The Fellowship alone is worth watching just for the comedic stylings of the four hobbits together.
I think I’ve watched the movies more with the commentary than without.
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So here I go, I’m a girl and I’m about to “outnerd” all of you!!
1. I’m 35, and very proud to say I have seen every episode of “Star Wars” at the theatre.
2. I played Dungeon’s and Dragon’s until I was 16.
3. I was in marching band all through high school.
4. I have read the LOTR and Narnia series so many times I can’t even tell you.
5. I play World of Warcraft AND The Sims.
6. Final Fantasy games are my favorite, but so are car racing, football (NFL, but not Madden), etc.
Fuck. I need to get a life!!! ;p lol
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Anyone see Clerks 2? When Randal makes the LOTR geek Puke? Pricless
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Virgins. You all just became born-again virgins.
Forever.
j/k
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You’re not supposed to ask these questions!!!!
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Quoting rabbit72:
You’d get along really well with a lot of my fellow employees AKA members of the cult that is World of Warcrack.
Quoting wallflower:
I’m fairly certain they’ve got a few episodes done by now as they did start back in September. That should tied us over for maybe a month into the season if worst comes to worse.
Alternately, we’ve still got three months. If they strike, depending on the severity, they’ll be back before February.
I hope.
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Quoting Miss Emily:
You’d get along really well with a lot of my fellow employees AKA members of the cult that is World of Warcrack.
lol, it sure seems like a cult sometimes. I realized after I posted this that left out 2 things:
I love Harry Potter!!
“Heroes” is my favorite TV show of all time. Does anyone else watch that but me? :)
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Quoting Mwillson:
These seems like the most reasonable answers. The eagles thing always bugged me too but the whole idea of Sauron needing to be dead so the Nazgul were weakened makes sense.
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Look at what you started Matt!!! This is like coming out of the closet day for nerds. ,Me, I’m out already… It’s no secret that I have a custom Final Fantasy Decal on my car!
And all these real answers to your questions are great…keep them coming (out)!! *laughs
See you at Hamilton Place tonight.
Mike
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awesome
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You frickin’ Dorks, ha. I could not make it through any of those movies, not to say I didn’t try, the horses were nice.
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Matt,
You could consider adding regular “What’s up with that?” features to your site much like the “Dear San Diego” entries that we love so much!
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Wallflower that is an awesome idea.
Although, I’d never get off this thang, then.
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Damn, after a week heavy with world events and dealing with work crisis, I really needed this. Matt, you are hysterical, and some comments even gave me a bigger laugh. Sometimes a little fantasy can pull you back to deal with reality. Looks like I’m due for another Trilogy marathon, books or DVDs. Thanks for helping me get perspective.
_________
Never doubt that a small group of committed citizens can change the world. Indeed it is the only thing that ever has. (Margaret Mead)
http://home.comcast.net/~katebritt/
http://www.savedarfur.org/content
http://www.enoughproject.org/
http://www.ariverblue.org/
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It’s true. I’m the only person on earth to have not seen the Lord of the Rings, Harry Potter and Star Wars films. Okay, I saw the first two Star Wars films, but I don’t remember them.
I tried to read the LotR books, but that was an impossible task. It kept putting me to sleep.
This from the person who has sat through multiple viewings of the extended version of The Big Blue and was completely enraptured. Speaking of, have you seen The Professional (aka Léon)? I love Jean Reno. Love. Him.
I want to see Das Boot. And Kieslowski’s Dekalog. *is a foreign film nerd extraordinaire*
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Matt I was just reading an OLD interview you did with Launchcast in 2001 (that railgrinder sent to me) but anyway.. I had to laugh and post this here as I thought it a good place to do so…
Question:
Precious_Jewels_Falling: Since you don’t like your band name, what would you call yourselves if you had the chance to rename the band?
Answer:
launchguest_matthew_good: Gandolf.
LOL