It’s raining, dark; the streets empty and the doorways filled. On the streets you have to wait it out, try to stay dry, try to find somewhere sheltered from it so that maybe you can catch a few hours of sleep in the hopes that it will have stopped.
I needed laundry detergent yesterday. I went around corner to the store. In Blood Alley something was happening; three squad cars, two officers pulling shot guns out of their trunks. No idea what it was about, but there was a huge construction crane in the alley so maybe something had transpired between the alley’s usual inhabitants and the construction crew. Could have been a drug bust, there could have been an assault; it could have been about a few of the ill-tempered dogs that have been roaming around back there recently.
Things are obviously calmer down here in the winter. No summer tourists to be herded away from, to be pushed by security companies into back alleys so as to protect the illusion of old-world charm. It’s been unseasonably warm though, so at least that’s something. Even with the rain, it’s not as biting as it usually is this time of year. If there’s an upside to global warming in this neck of the woods it’s that if you live outdoors things aren’t as condemnable. At least that’s something.
Drugs and booze. Two steadfast allies of the dispossessed. They make you forget, time machines that offer unconscious passage into the future so that you can lose a day, or three, not having to deal with the reality of where you’ve ended up. Ten blocks uptown the city’s well-to-do scoff at it all while they hit the bars on the weekends and drink themselves silly, press lips to bongs, snort cocaine in the bathrooms of the city’s finer nightspots. The difference is that they have beds to break their falls at the end of the night. The difference is that they do it because it’s a socially accepted ritualistic endeavor. Escape is escape though, and ultimately everyone’s trying to escape something in the end. Admit it or not.
At the very least, if you’re waiting for the rain to stop, you’ve got something truly pressing to escape - the reality that when it does, very little will have changed besides the weather.
Irony For Friday, January 4th, 2008
Chinatown is two blocks over. It’s been there since the 1880’s. It’s filled with countless restaurants. None of them deliver.
I’m not kidding.
Toasters
When I was a kid we used to make toast on an electric heater in the basement. It was one of those long floor heaters, the sort with the metal grill on the front. We would put pieces of bread on it and wait a while, turn them over, and then butter them.
We used to not lock our doors at night as well though. Things change.
Covered In Blood
I was thinking last night on the career of William Tecumseh Sherman, his complexities and hypocrisies, his characterizations of warfare in its purest form, especially those penned during his campaign to take Atlanta and later his march to Savannah, and something that he wrote in his memoirs that I have always found extremely telling…
“I confess, without shame, that I am sick and tired of fighting—its glory is all moonshine; even success the most brilliant is over dead and mangled bodies, with the anguish and lamentations of distant families, appealing to me for sons, husbands, and fathers … it is only those who have never heard a shot, never heard the shriek and groans of the wounded and lacerated … that cry aloud for more blood, more vengeance, more desolation.”
For some reason that always reminds me of the words of Vassilis Epaminondou…
“If you kill one person you are a murderer. If you kill ten people you are a monster. If you kill ten thousand you are a national hero.”
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No on in Gastown delivers? You’ve gotta be kidding me.
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Saw on news last night a very quiet alley, because they got rid of the garbage dumpsters.. Yep, a missing garbage dumpster is going to change this city.
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I cut my finger REALLY bad our the electronic heater when I was a kid….. it happened on my 4th birthday!! That sucked.. I am getting old
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Matt, you said something that really made me take a look at life differently..
Only Killers call Killing Progress..
thats the truest and hardest thing I have ever heard… In my entire life. And frankly I can never ever thank you enough for that.. I come here everyday for a different outlook on society and what this world has to offer.. I do believe, no matter the line you stand on politics-that you will and have called bullshit for what it is. I dont come here to lament on your eyes that resemble liquid pools of dark chocolate, but for your direct approach to the awareness or lack there of, of social consciouness. You really do take the time to take your role, in its entirety, and are responsiable with it. Thats really a rare thing.. Goodness, I went on a rant with that one! : )
The only way to peace is through the ability to communicate and it amazes me daily, how much we see violence as a solution to get what we want.. like we are two year olds fighitng over our ARMY men figurines. It takes a real man/woman to sit and try to create a enviroment for converstation..WITHOUT strings attached. I have yet to hear someone bring to the table a agenda for open and honest dialouge. And I think despite what a few posters may say, you really do do that..
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Happy almost birthday, Kristy!!!!!!!! I have 9 years on you; you aren’t old!!!
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Why would it have been necessary to lock your doors… you didn’t even have a toaster.
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Thank you very much Tanya… I didn’t say I am old.. I said I am getting old… My Great Grandmother who is 95 is old.
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That toast story just made my day.
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Well, this is my good bye for a while folks.. I’m sad… And this post made me a wee bit depressed… I do love the rain, but I remember living in the West End and found the rainy days depressing.. Hope all is well, Matt. Sunny days ahead!!!!
I got a new drug, but this site will always be my first drug of choice… (I got a complicated new camera that I must figure out before I shoot a wedding in May; I need to get my ass off this computer and start researching camera equipment and start a biz)…
I am so thankful for all the people I have met on here and who I’ve become personal friends with!!!!
I’m gone away boys, I’m gone away.
bye.
t
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” Escape is escape though, and ultimately everyone’s trying to escape something in the end. Admit it or not. ”
I don’t drink or take drugs, never did… I guess we all need to escape in our own ways. The word Escape has many layers and it’s sad to see that for too many people Escaping means drug and booze.
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Homelessness during any season, any condition is tragic. Though it seems much worse when the rain won’t let up. Or when the snowy winter evening is frigid and frost freezes to your eyelids. As unfortunate as it is, it almost forces me to understand the whole ‘committing crimes in winter just to have a place to go, whether it’s a cell for a night or a building for a lifetime. I can especially imagine that after experiencing a Saskatchewan winter every year of my life.
Beds. Homes. They are incredibly powerful. And the absence of them for many people is disturbing, tragic, and just plain sad on so many levels.
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that sherman quote stole some thunder from a future post i had in the works….
i’ll have to wait for it to become topical or interesting again….
more leafs talk it is then.
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the irony for friday - that made me literally laugh out loud. i really needed that today.
i’ve never heard of Vassilis Epaminondou, and certainly not this quote before, but it is strong. like a whiplash realization thing… its relevancy is timeless. i wish i had known this back when i was writing term papers on such topics - from history, war, to even comics and classic tales and literature! maybe i might now, just for fun…
I agree with hopeforchange, “Only Killers call Killing Progress” struck me too, everytime actually whenever i hear black helicopter. it’s perfectly put. i’m gonna integrate this too in my ‘for fun’ essay.
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Quoting helz:
I actually want to get this screened onto a shirt.. with a death toll in Iraq reading like this:
Death toll in the war on Terror:
???
I actually heard that line as I was driving.. I had to pull over cause it made me sit and cry.. its very powerful.
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I was reading the history of the Pickton trial a few weeks ago and got an in depth look at details of your neighborhood and it was just shocking. I know you talk about it a lot and give details on how bad things are, but I do really see now what you mean. I can’t believe a place that bad came into existence in a place like Vancouver. It seems in general that Canadians do such a great job of taking care of each other, and everything looks so pristine when you come out of the airport, see the mountains, evergreens, smell the freshest air I’ve ever breathed, then you hear about this place which you’ll never actually see when just visiting. I recall seeing groups of teens on the street everywhere I went when I was there in ‘96, and locals told me there was a huge teen homeless population there and I just couldn’t believe it. We really just don’t have that where I live and it’s scary and sad to know that kids and adults are existing like this.
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… sorry for my english…
I have no idea how it really works… I had TERRIBLE day… AWFUL… and back in home such small things like toaster story and sound of Avalanche
(did you knew that it takes almost three weeks to get this album in Poland? of course [and why God, why??] send to me from States, cause theres NO Matt’s music here… stupid polish music market (correct form?) …) really makes me feel much better.
Ghosts in those sounds :)
… or maybe it’s just my tea XD
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I was walking through the streets of Gastown one night, as I have many times before, and decided to take an alternate way home. I found myself walking down streets where EVERYONE was homeless but me- (i think Abbott, etc.?) I got this overwhelming feeling in the pit of my stomach- no it wasn’t fear- it was guilt. I just looked around at all these people, pushing their carts, lying on the soaked ground, hands out looking for a dime and my heart just broke. I felt so helpless in that I knew I couldn’t help change their tragic situation- right then and there.
So as I continued to walk- i thought to myself a similar thought regarding global warming. “Well at least it is a mild night and it isn’t sub zero temperatures. At least these people arent sleeping on frost covered concrete.” My roomate and I had this very discussion one night as we walked through Gastown, admittingly after we had gone to a pub. I said somethign to her like- “what a trade-off huh? The world is burning up and these people are on the streets. At least they are benefitting from the warmer weather”, ie not freezing to death out in the cold. It is a shitty trade off though.
Two mass problems with no determined solution, yet they are sharing a symbiotic relationship right now. I guess warmer weather is good but , as Matt stated- it doesn’t stop the rain. ONce you are wet- you’re wet, and wet- no matter what the temperature makes you cold, which could lead to sickness. To be dry and cold than wet and cold? Neither one of those is a wonderful choice.
Toasters..hahaha. I actually dont have one right now where i live. We use our frying pan to toast our bread. Kind of makes me feel like I’m camping…in the middle of a skyscraper metropolis…odd.
And locking the doors. Never locked our front door and left our keys in an unlocked car for years and years on PEI- until a couple years ago. Some punks started breaking into peoples houses and there was a rash of vehicles being stolen. People would wake up in the morning to find their trucks on concrete blocks with their tires gone, or cleaned out of every valuable possession.
I I had my car stolen; Got off a night shift to find it gone from my driveway. Little bastards tried to crash it into a ditch..But i got it back, damaged none the less.
Things really do change.
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Re: Chinese food… Does anyone know of a good place that does deliver downtown? I have had a craving for some Chinese lately and simply haven’t heard of a good recommendation…;0)
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You really can’t blame Chinatown for not delivering given what surrounds it. Only a guy with a red S on his chest would deliver to any of those hotels. Crossing Hastings to get to Gastown would warrant hazardous duty pay that restaurants probably aren’t willing to shell out.
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ONe last thought, I promise. Did anyone watch the other night on CBC Newsworld, a story called ” A SAfer Sex Trade”? I believe it was filmed in ‘06 ans this may have been the second or even third time it had been aired- (because it inclused updated content re: the PIckton trial).
Anyways, it documented the lives of those working within a sectors of the sex trade industry in VAncouver- specifically in the lower east side. They chatted with a lady who owns her own bawdy house, a former prostitute, who now runs “Jen’s Kitchen” a non profit organization, which provides food for those on the streets, and a female escort. Three very different point of view on a very heavy topic. Some benefit from their trade and even like what they do, where as- one girl tells the horrific tale of her own experience.
It was a huge eye opener to any of you who aren’t aware of how many women are in fact caught up in this industry. Most of these women are forced to do it as a means of financial assistance- so that they may scrape by. They showed video of rememberance marches held in the lower east side, for all those women who have gone missing as a result of working in the trade. I believe Vancouver alone is missing upwards of 66 women…maybe 166..Regardless, TOO MANY. In Canada there are almost 1,500 women listed as missing.
It was just a profound documentary and I think everyone should watch it. It broke my heart and had deep meaning to it for me, because I know someone dear to me that was once one of those girls on the street.
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I grew up in a small town where we never locked our doors either. Even in a tiny rural community, smack dab in the middle of Manitoba’s Bible Belt, we now have to lock our doors. We had things stolen from us, and with all the meth and cocaine going on it’s just as safe as it used to be. Especially with 18 year olds being caught with sawed off shot guns.
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I’ve been on the couch with a nasty ass cold for the last 2 1/2 days and so i watched all of Ken Burns “The Civil War”. Absolutely masterful piece of work. Inspired me to go a read more of Lincoln’s speeches. Seems like he too clearly understood the threat of factionalism and tyranny.
Sherman foresaw the terrible tole the war would take on everyone.
Fascinating insight into the war that split our southern neighbors just 140 odd years ago. Still haven’t made up my mind if it was a war for freedom, or if “freedom” just became a convenient word to keep the war going in hopes of keeping European influence out of the war.
If you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.
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I have to get this out: I am very seriously considering moving out to Vancouver, and if I do, it will be fall at the latest. Yeah, there is a lot to be said in the media and this website that should in all respect discourage me (doesn’t exactly seem like a welcome mat for those of us who are lucky enough to live with any form of depression/metal illness, does it?) and I’ve got everybody else telling me I have go back to the UK and hang out with my family for a few years, but I really don’t know why. I just have to head west. All I know is that when I visited two years ago, it just really struck me being the place I need to be. I’ve visited many cities in the past year and a good number of them could possibly be better (ei London Fucking England), but none of them gave off that vibe as Vancouver did.
But that’s just me. I’m looking into all options regardless.
Have fun.
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A side of toast is usually included in my escapism activities.
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Hello all,
I just wanted to say something about the locked doors and such — I live in a little rural town about 15 min. north of a pretty big city - I always grew up without locking my doors and I still don’t - i want you all to know that there are some places where the people lose their way and bad things happen.. but the world can still be a good place. I go to sleep every night with unlocked doors and more often then not I forget to take my keys out of my car - knock on wood- nothing bad has ever happened to me - the world isn’t completely falling apart. It can still be a good place
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Is Blood Alley the actual name of the alley or just what locals call it?
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It’s the actual name of the alley. It’s where people were executed by hanging in the old days.
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You did WHAT in the basement!
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Quoting egg:
Okay, no, THAT just made my day…
:-)
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From the sounds of things this street is living up to it’s name even today … difference is that todays execution was almost carried out using a shot gun.
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I’m not sure where or from whom the quote originates, but the quote “War does not determine who is right, only who is left” has been on repeat in the back of my mind for probably half of my life now. I find it to be so useful of quote, whether looking at events of the world, happening in the backalley, or even an arguement between family members. We are all trying to escape something, and we are all fighting a war, and unfortunately, many paths cross and not all are left.
I never made toast on a heater as a kid. I did however make open face grilled cheese sandwiches. Others thought I was weird for that, but they are so much better than closed faced ones. The cheese melts way better. If you put enough on, it’s all gooey underneath, but you get a perfect cripsy layer on the top. And it was faster to make than “regular” grilled cheese. I miss those days
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Quoting ShaneK:
In return for the recommendation, I’ll make one in turn:
Team of Rivals by Doris Kearns Goodwin. It’s a bit of a behemoth, even in paperback, and took me two or three weeks to get through (and I’m a frighteningly fast reader), but in the end, well worth it. I may have to drag out my copy again.
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“The difference is that they have beds to break their falls at the end of the night”
So true.
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I guess you’re right about escaping stuff…am I the only one who isn’t quite sure what they’re escaping???
Sometimes I wonder, people like yourself (Matt) who are able to express such things so eloquently seem to really know themselves well, do you ever find yourself unsure about that kind of stuff, or do you pretty much have a handle on those intricacies by now?
We did our toast with a bent metal coat hanger over a burner on our stove when I was a wee tot.
Good times…good times…
The Chinatown comment was surprising, and thus quite funny, it’s always cool when you get random and just write whatever.
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My mother sent me an email last night about an incident at her apartment building. A man was chased by the police and subsequently tried to hide in a dumpster in her parking lot, right below her window. A police dog tracked him down and the man was arrested.
What I found interesting and inspiring and comforting about my mother telling me this story, when describing the man, she called him a lost soul.
It reveals to me a simple but often neglected fact.
We are the product of those who raise us. Our perceptions, our judgments, our gut feelings that rise up without warning, those are all a reflection of the lessons we have learned from our elders and secondly, the hurts and joys we have experienced in life. But I think, for me at least, when it comes right down to it, no matter how many hurts there have been, the lessons of my youth passed down from my mother and her parents reign supreme. And when I think of those lessons, I think of equality.
I also live in a mixed up neighbourhood, one of revitalization and poverty and charisma and determination and crime and hope. It was not my first choice for where to live but now after a year I am glad I ended up here because I believe the whole point of being a neighbour is to give back to your community and there is no better place in my city for me to do so.
Aside, I currently have no bread for toast. I’ve never used an electric heater to, um, toast it. But my brother and I used to eat a lot of it at my grandparents house. And my grandpa always said- “You have to eat the crust. It will make you strong and put hair on your chest.” And of course, if we ever had crumbs on our clothes or table he would say- “Careful, some IS getting in your mouth.”
PS- My mom reads this here blog and all its comments so I am gladly forced to say-
Hi Mom!
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Speaking of people being lost, can I be the horrible person to mention Britney Spears on MG.org? (I’m horrible, I know). I just saw something posted online about the possibility that she might have a bipolar illness, and was wondering what people think about that… Or has the fame game and Hollywood ruined her mind and skewed her perspective on reality?
http://www.eonline.com/gossip/planetgossip/detail/index.jsp?uuid=6d765ec0-7d76-4a5e-80d1-c79d1ed6b433&sid=fd-planet
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As we were driving late last night a guy was riding his old broken down bike in the middle of the road. He had it loaded full of “belongings” - bottles, etc. were hanging off the sides in bags. What caught our attention was the fact that he was singing, out loud and quite merrily.
Someone in the car commented “he’s high”, followed by the subsequent discussion of how you’d probably have to be in order to survive out there in the cold.
Anyhow, this discussion just reminded me of that.
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Quoting that girl:
Yeah, I was hoping someone would bring this up. As much as I do read a couple of gossip-esque entertainment sites, I really don’t like participating the gossip discussions. (Not only is it irrelavant to what is REALLY going on in the world, but from a lover of all things arts, it’s because of stories like this that some of the true artists of the world are going unnoticed.) But hearing the stuff that is coming out about this story in the some of the mainstream media outlets, sparked my interest in a big way and to be honest, I’m starting to really worry about this woman.
It’s easy to say that the fame went to her head in a hurry and now with the realities of life catching up to her is taking a big toll, but she is, in fact, human. (A shock, I know.) If you were never in the correct mindset to begin with, yes that kind of attention will no doubt fuck with your mind. But this is a full scale breakdown which has the potental of coming out in the wash as being a result of a pre-existing mental illness. The utter humilation and pain of that reality is something I would wish on my worst enemy - and that was with a private battle. I can’t even being to comprehend what it would have been like if I had the social status of Ms. Spears.
The media coverage of all this is becoming almost insulting. Instead of maybe discussing the human factor behind it or the social commentary that to be had surrounding mental illness, they’re almost mocking it and adding to the taboo surrounding mental illness. The last thing we need is more discouragment for people (young women?) to get help because of they don’t want the same treatment as Britney Spears.
Anyway, I’m rooting for Britney. That’s all I have to say about that, for now anyway.
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THAT is a great quote to know:
“Escape is escape though, and ultimately everyone’s trying to escape something in the end.”
You’re right about the uptowners looking down on the homeless. And you’re also right about the only difference in many of them is where they end up spending the night after they’ve sufficiently clouded their mind.
Nice Post.
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Quoting Matthew Good:
Wow, hardcore place, with history. In Cowtown we have Crack Cul-de-Sac but of course that is just a nickname with obvious origins. You’ve probably seen it.
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Quoting hopeforchange:
that would be an awesome shirt