A long time ago, when sleep was something that didn’t favor me with its company all that often, I commonly turned to alternatives in an attempt to defeat insomnia. My main reason for doing so was that if I went days without sleep (or woke up too early) I tended to become quite nauseous. My savior, of course, became Gravol, the world’s foremost motion sickness drug and one of the best over the counter sleeping aids known to man.
Of course, over time Gravol can have adverse affects, but when you become so reliant on something to knock you out you tend not to concern yourself with them. There was a time when I could take up to 500mg of Gravol and still have trouble falling asleep. Sure, inanimate objects would be flying around the room, and that’s all well and good for a bit of bedtime entertainment, but when your goal is to sleep it can be frustrating.
So then I started mixing Gravol with cold medicines, which worked for a while, but wasn’t really the solution that I was looking for. I also tried every over the counter drug available, as well as some all-natural alternatives.
None of them worked.
From there the next step was into the realm of prescription drugs, and I’ve danced with them all. Zopiclone, Halcion, Valium, Ativan, Haldol, the list goes on. They all work, and stunningly well I might add. The trick, though, is not to abuse them.
Zopicolone, for example, is very effective when you first start to use it. Unfortunately, after a while it begins to leave a horrible metallic taste in your mouth when you wake up that lasts all day. There were a few times, when I was away, that my ex-wife, who had access to them, took one or more a night for weeks. Now, that could have been because she was attempting to counter the effects of another drug altogether, but I do remember her taking a great deal of them. Personally, as soon as the metallic taste showed up, I just couldn’t handle it anymore.
It wasn’t until I started using Ativan on a daily basis that I found something that I considered unequalled. I was originally prescribed Ativan to combat panic attacks, but was strictly warned that it should only be used in the most dire of circumstances. Unfortunately, after my divorce, my general practitioner upped my dosage of Effexor to 500mg a day, which, as I would later discover, amplifies mania in those that suffer from bipolarity. So while I was taking a drug I believed to be helping me, it was causing me to deal with manic episodes the likes of which I had never experienced. The solution to this problem was to simply prescribe me more Ativan, which, during the Spring 2006 acoustic tour, and the months that followed, became my nearest and dearest friend.
Wake up - take an Ativan. Make it until around 3 - take another one. Take another at dinner and then two more before bed. Five milligrams a day was pretty normal, though there were stretches when I would up it to seven. When I was admitted to hospital in Kingston after suffering a nervous breakdown, they shot me so full of it that I still can’t remember the following two days. When I finally cracked in Bristol, I took six at once just to calm myself enough to lie down. By that time, I could take up to 10mg’s a day and still function.
And then, of course, came that fateful night at my parents when I mixed a day’s worth of it with beer and then, in an attempt to fight another bout of mania, took more. That, of course, led to a state of complete euphoria in which I had no idea what I was doing. Ultimately, I would end up taking fifty or so before being found unconscious and rushed to hospital.
You know, a guy just wants to get a little sleep. How much is that to ask? Well, after that night I got plenty. Five days worth of sleep in a bed in a psyche ward. And truth be told, they may just rank as five of the best nights of rest that I’ve ever had.
How’s that for irony?
So here I am again, out on the road, flying from city to city, constantly on the move, no bus bunk to retreat to, and I can’t sleep. I’ve got Gravol, I’ve got Promethazine, I’ve got my usual dosage of clonazepam.
What to do.
hhmm, what to do indeed. Well, my advice is do what you’re doing. Post on your website, watch a film, sleep on the plane, perform ,then do it all again until you can come home and properly relax with puppies and your own bed! Must be tough… I can’t imagine. I”m glad you’re feeling better this week..come home soon!
“If I am dreaming let me never awake, If I am awake let me never sleep.”
i’m reading this after countless efforts to fall asleep.
t3’s help me sometimes.
What to do?
Retire.
I love your music, your work and your thoughts, but I think I can speak for many when I say I’d rather have a live but retired Matt than one pushing himself until he falls apart. Do what you need to get your life truly turned around, you owe it to yourself, you dont owe us anything.
Best wishes for the tour though!
And I have the opposite problem, I have to battle to get out of bed and when things are bad I can literally miss any and everything important because I can’t get up.
Oh well.
Seriously though, take care please!
Could you take time away from touring for a while? We’re not going to go anywhere — I promise. We’ll be waiting for you whenever you feel up to it. Touring is unquestionably rough, and you don’t need to put yourself through it for anything.
You need to make your full-time job about what makes you feel alright. If music plays a part in that, then great, but I hope that Matt is your priority.
Its strange the thing with pills, all I do is take a few advil before bed so that I can actually sleep through the night without my knee flaring up and being crazy painful and swollen, but there are times when I look at the steady stream of those pills into my body I wonder how much more immune to them I am every time i take them. Pills are a very very intruiging thing, drugs in general are always interesting. Listen to “The Cereal Song” by John Frusciante for some prospective.
Zopiclone is an awful drug. I was prescribed it during first year university when the anti-depressants i was on were keeping me up all night. I got addicted to it, began taking upwards of 10 or 15 at a time.. The metal taste aside, it has the potential to seriously mess people up.
I cant sleep tonight either. I just took some nyquil to try and settle me down. I also have gravol. Welcome to the world of over the counter sedatives…
I hope you get some rest.
Well, i am still up and am going to force myself to lie in bed regardless, after i finish this entry.
Re: Zopliclone (Rhovane)-> I have been on and off that for a couple of years now. Obviously, i try to only take it in short stints, because yes, i have found that after so long I could take 3 (7.5mg each) and still be wide awake. I used to think those little blue pills were my saving grace, until they “stopped working”. The first time i ever took them I had the metallic taste (like you, all day long:0( , and in fact- i always do. It totally grosses me out, but if I get a decent night’s rest - i can suffer through it.
Though I try to use them rarely now- I find their efficacy is beginning to fail. While I may still fall asleep- I find I wake up a couple hours later. I used to wake up clear headed, and now I find myself dragging my ass in the morning as if i never slept at all.
As far as Ativan and Valium. I used to resort to those to calm my anxiety and settle my mind enough, in order to drift off. I guess I did feel a sort of euphoric dreaminess before i would nod off. After I found myself mixing a few types of prescription pills (with a glass or two of wine) at once, in an effort to sleep- I made myself stop. The fear of over doing it and not waking up, was something I just couldn’t risk.
So, I too share your predicament..I just want my brain to shut down and rest. I want to fall asleep, and not dream. Dreaming wears me out- it’s like I ran a effing mental marathon in my “sleep”. Could it be that I carry around too many thoughts and worries? It seems like they never rest.
As far as the Effexor goes: *shudders* I had an ex who was prescribed that (for “mild” depression?) and he turned into someone unrecognizable. Mania? Definately..He even had psychotic episodes that seemed so surreal. On one occasion, he ran around the house in a fit of hysterical laughter with a huge knife in his hands- weilding it around (my poor roomate at the time…). When i went to call an ambulance (because i found out he ate almost his entire- new- bottle of meds), he cut the phone cord, then he ran off. Eventually i got a hold of the police and a K-9 unit had to search for him. He was taken to the hospital, where they discharged him a few hours later (???why i have no idea) and he showed back up at my apartment. I reluctantly let him in and an hour or so later he dropped infront of me convulsing in a seisure. ..And so it went..back to the hospital.. That was hardly the end, but that’s where I stop.
Well, i think that is enough bedtime stories for one evening..er, morning..
Cheers to the zzzzzz’s…I am gonna try to catch some..
Funny that you should talk about trying to getting to sleep. By coincidence, I was having problems falling asleep last night. I really couldn’t tell if it was because I had a bit on my mind last night (a bit of a rough day at work) or if the short nap earlier in the evening threw my need for sleep off. Either way, I’d like to try to avoid any “hard” drugs to help me get to sleep. A friend had suggested using Valerian. I had some. I tried it. It didn’t seem to do anything. Eventually I did sort of fall asleep. I think if I had tried a little bit of meditation to relax and clear my mind it might have helped. Maybe next time when I have trouble falling asleep. Today, I will probably function in a semi-zombie like state at work. I’m sure I will still get things done. I’ll just want to steal a nap in between things.
Yay.
I’m up too dude.. I can’t sleep at all these days. Reading what you wrote reminds me of Heath Ledger a bit — sounds like at the end of the day all he wanted was a good night’s rest.
After my first round in the hospital after my first surgery, they of course prescribed me oxycodone for the pain (which Heath also was on). For a guy that rarely has a good night’s sleep, those were fairly amazing, and I can understand completely how someone can get hooked on them. In fact, I don’t remember ever feeling that rested.
Gravol does absolutely nothing for me. I’m a fairly anxious person, and my brain is usually going at 200% — gravol just can’t shut it off. I’ve taken in excess of 8 of them before on airplanes and I just keep on going. A few OTC sleep agents work for me, but leave me completely groggy in the morning, so I try not to use them. I’ve tried Ambien more recently, but it has a weird track record and I’m not comfortable taking it anymore.
In fact, the only things that I’ve ever taken that knock me out without a lot of side effects are opiate based drugs such as codeine or oxycodone. Obviously they are scheduled narcotics, so they aren’t really part of most people’s sleep strategies.
I feel for you!!! I’ve had sleep problems my whole life, but over the last 5 years the insomnia has become insane. I currently have a significant Gravol problem because it does put me to sleep …but only at 3 hour intervals.
I hope sleep finds you soon!
I suffer from a ragweed allergy in September/October/November every year. To combat that, I have to take an over the counter antihistimine called Actifed. It absolutely wipes me out every night while helping with my breathing. I don’t usually have a problem kicking it when my allergy season is over, but if I’m having trouble sleeping, I’ll pop one of those and it will help. Also, routine seems to work for me, but routine is easy to establish when you’re 9 to 5. Not so easy, I”m sure, when you’re on tour. I don’t know if that means anything. Just my 2 cents.
I tend to self medicate over a few glasses of good red wine.
It usually helps with the sleep but burdened with a 5 month old baby with kolic, sleep remains elusive at the best of times.
Hope you feel better and get some rest.
i’ve had off and on insomnia problems since I was at least 10 years old, and after trying several different types of medications (ambien, lunesta, all those strong sleep meds that you see on tv) which did absolutely nothing for me, my doctor referred me to a therapist who uses cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia. Although I will have to say that I haven’t followed all of the therapist’s rules (which is key for this type of therapy), on the most part, it has worked. I’ve taught my brain to realize that life goes on without sleep. Sure, I’ll be tired and physically ill (i get migraine-like headaches and nauseous when severely sleep deprived), but I know that I can get everything done, even if I’m tired. And if i don’t sleep the next day, eventually I will fall asleep. When you’ve had insomnia for so long, your brain has so many set thoughts about sleep and what a lack of it does to you. Destroying the thoughts are hard, but it’s definitely worth it. Now I’m not saying that this method works for everyone, but it’s worth a shot.
Run.
Whenever I feel a little wired and can’t get to sleep I just hit the pavement for a couple miles and wear myself out.
matt - you’ve probably tried stuff like this but…. have you ever spent time doing things like yoga and some related relaxation techniques? usually you will sleep much better when you get exercise but aside from that, there are a lot of relaxation techniques that can be used to settle your mind etc depending on the way you lie in bed, breathing patterns, etc.
see you in NYC mg…
Quoting ericz:
I just started taking yoga a couple of months ago. I was reluctant at first– seems just a little too new-age-y for this cynical mind– but I was in desperate need of something to relax. I’m liking it so far. My legs have tone for the first time in, well, maybe ever. And, I always fall asleep at the end, during final relaxation… which you are not supposed to do, but I can’t help it.
The big Pharm machine isn’t all that different from the scumbag lurking around the schoolyard with pockets full of crystal meth & crack… You described a pretty standard progression from lighter to harder drugs - leading to the inevitable crash & burn that you hit and were fortunate to survive.
I’d never underestimate the severity of the conditions that necessitate medication in your case, but humbly suggest that if it were me, I’d be making a conscious effort to progress towards being unmedicated - even if it’s impractical to reach zero. We’ve seen what happens on the high end of the dosage spectrum, and none of your friends and fans want you to needlessly venture out there again.
The wife & I are looking forward to seeing you in Detroit this evening.
I remember reading in your book (At Last There’s Nothing Left to Say) - great stories about Gravol!!!
Good night Matthew.
Quoting mindy:
x2. This is one of the few things that has worked for me. And also, while I realize it’s not terribly practical for a musician… getting into a “normal” routine was key, for me. Having a semi-regular bedtime (that isn’t 4 in the morning) and getting up at a regular time–even on the weekends–has helped me get some decent sleep.
Now, if I could just keep the cats from waking me up at 3 AM…
For the last two nights, I’ve not been able to shut my brain up. After work today, I”m stopping off at the store for an over-the-counter. A friend of mine got addicted to Ativan back in December; I think the drug he’s on now is called Seraquol(?) It’s supposed to be stronger, yet not as habit-forming. What pisses me off is that they gave him a drug like Ativan in the first place - he was in the hospital to help himself get *off* an addiction. Bah.
I was totally going to say yoga or some form of relaxational exercise.
You should research some natural alternatives that aren’t medication. You’re just pumping your
body full of crap. Acupuncture, infrared sauna etc. Try something that doesn’t have ingrediants that
you can’t pronounce in them.
I’ve got many, many issues, but thankfully sleeplessness is not one of them. I’ve been told I could fall asleep on a roller coaster. But, I had a massive panic attack Sunday night and couldn’t get to sleep afterwards and had a brief glimpse into the fun that must come with insomnia.
You said you’ve tried everything available OTC so I’m assuming Benadryl doesn’t work… man, that stuff knocks me out cold. Take a couple of them and I’m gone. Oooh, and Robax Platinum, too. First time I took that stuff I ended up collapsing in the dog’s bed, laughing hysterically at nothing in particular… then I crashed BIG time (though thankfully not in the dog bed at that point).
Effexor is the Devil even for those who don’t have bipolar disorder. Horrible, horrible, horrible med.
I hope sleep comes to you soon.
I know manic depression can be a super difficult disorder to live with. Sometimes it seems that everything you do has to be so carefully monitored in order to avoid a interaction or a manic or depressive episode. The goal is to find the right anti depressant/anti psychotic; that will keep you from having to over medicate yourself with other things just to get a decent rest. Think of it like a lock and key. Sometimes it takes months, maybe years to find the right drug and balance, but once you do, it can be remarkable. It’s so important to have a psychiatrist that cares, cause let’s face it; it’s all trial and error when it comes to this sort of thing. I wish I had the time to talk about this more, but I will log in again to see how you are. This may be a shot in the dark but have you ever tried Zyprexa?? That may help in the interim. A hug from a good friend wouldn’t be a bad idea either. Take care.
vigorous sex and warm milk have worked for me. but, not at the same time. if you find yourself without one or the other, try watching Pearl Harbor. that’s 3 hours you’ll never get back, and a guaranteed snooze-fest!
I’m still reeling from your Frozen blog…it caused me to lay awake last night …
With regard to your sleep issues, I will recommend what works best for my two year old who I swear has insomnia… a boob. Yes Matt, it could be that simple LOL
SMILE :-)
career change/lifestyle change. did someone mention boobs?
Ahh yes, Effexor….
Was on that a couple of years ago for mild depression and anxiety. It felt like I was always two inches off the floor and in hyperdrive. Then going off of it gradually…worst feeling ever. I can’t even begin to describe how horrible I felt…..for a long time. Just thinking about it now makes me shutter.
Maybe you need some YOU time….. You should be your number one priority
Take care of youself :-)
There have been nights I’ve considered removing my brain with a melon baller just to get to sleep. “Jess, seriously, you don’t have to write that conference proposal, or plan that event, or bitch out that student right now! Just. Fucking. SLEEP.” To your extent, however, no. There is no comparison, and I wish I had a magical answer. I know that’s not what you’re looking for, but I still wish I had one. Great post.
Many of my patients have had luck sleeping and quelling manic episodes using Seroquel. It’s occasionally prescribed (off-label) in small doses for insomnia but can be prescribed in much larger doses for bipolar disorder and schizophrenia. Of course, only your psychiatrist will be able to say whether or not it’s a good choice to treat your bipolar. I’m assuming you’ve tried plain old prescription sleep aids? Lunesta and Ambien can be habit forming but Rozerem typically is not (that’s actually their big selling point). Difficultly sleeping is indicative of a possible manic episode, so perhaps you just need to tweak your meds? Taking Prozac kept me from sleeping but upping my mood stabilizer helped.
I’m sorry if that came off all “preachy” or anything. I’m not a doctor…I just work in psych research, mostly with bipolar patients. And I’m also bipolar II so I unfortunately spend most of my day thinking about the disorder :(
Best of luck…I hope you get some sleep soon.
“My main reason for doing so was that if I went days without sleep (or woke up too early) I tended to become quite nauseous. My savior, of course, became Gravol, the world’s foremost motion sickness drug and one of the best over the counter sleeping aids known to man.”
i feel like i couldve written this about myself..
anxiety keeps me awake and constently nauseous.
im really liking the lastest posts matt. youve completely oppened up. its inspiring.
take care alright? do what ever it takes. xxx
Daily multi-vitamin. Yoga (the breathing part, in bed). Cuddling, even if it’s just with a pillow. Listening to music on your iPod headphones in bed - nothing too upbeat. Creating elaborate fantasies (nice ones) in your head.
Gravol is for sure an amazing drug.
I’ve been taking that to sleep and deal with my moods for years now.
I always sleep better if I’m somewhere in the woods though. I don’t know if its the huge amount of fresh air or just the fact that its quiet and that their are no people around.
If all else fails THC does the trick. Illegal anti-nausiant/sleeping pill/ appetite enhancer
.
Frustrating would be putting it mildly.
I’d take the metallic taste over the lack of sleep any day. And in fact, do.
Pills are not the Answer….they never have been
and they never will be….
They are a dangerous Thing…..and it utterly disgusts Me
how Doctors hand them out like Candy on Halloween….
Sleeplessness is the Calling of a Deeper Hunger…
one that cannot be stilled or killed by Pills…
Not sure if it’s plausible, but massage is also a good way to relax when your mind is running non stop (happy ending or not…)
Your feet, hands and head tend to hold a lot of tension that needs to be worked out. The closer to when you want to sleep that you can get one the better.
All work and no sleep makes Pamela a dull girl.
I found that Guiness helps…or it did last night…quite a large amount of it though.
Matt… Just smoke pot.. works for most people.. and it is great for nausea.
Onegal, boobs always work for me. But when boobs aren’t an alternative, I just go the excercise route. I’m not a big gym person, but an hour all out on a bike or at the arena, then a nice hot shower and some food always brings on sleep for me. Good Luck!
ah matt, sorry to hear you’re struggling…when i can’t sleep i find reading something completely boring helps to put the mind to rest.. something like a technical manual or something of the sort. hope something works for you.
can’t wait for tonight’s show…hoping to hear a single explosion.
******WARNING********WARNING********
Scientific rant ahead!!!!
For all the pills our culture takes, how many people can honestly say they know how they work? How many people can answer the question of what the pill is doing for them in their body on a physiological basis?
I’m going to provide a stripped down overview explanation of how drugs work.
Every cell in your body has a cell membrane and every cell membrane has information receptors imbedded in it. Some of these information receptors receive and interpret chemicals called neuropeptides and as such are called neuropeptide receptors. Drugs are neuropeptides.
The cell membrane is what keeps the inside of the cell protected from the outside world and the neuropeptide receptors are what transpose what is going on outside the cell to the inside of the cell. There a millions of different types of neuropeptides and neuropeptide receptors. The interesting thing is that neuropeptide receptors are very specific to the neuropeptide they receive. Like a lock in a door, only the right key will fit - only the right neuropeptide will fit the right neuropeptide receptor.
So, as an example many people may be familiar with, endorphins are neuropeptides. In order for a cell to react to an endorphin that cell must have, in its membrane, an endorphin receptor. When the endorphin binds to it’s receptor, the signal is transposed through the membrane to the inside of the cell where the cell then goes to work processing the signal. This may include the use of RNA and DNA to build a new molecule that is then released out of the cell to have a function somewhere else in the body. In the case of endorphins, a sense of euphoria is created as it binds to the cells in your brain.
Now here’s the kicker, your body doesn’t contain a neuropeptide receptor that it doesn’t have a corresponding neuropeptide for.
Since all drugs are neuropeptides, and all neuropeptides are unique to a certain neuropeptide receptor, no drug can work in your body unless your body already has the needed receptor and your body won’t have the receptor if it didn’t already have some of that chemical in it already (even if in trace amounts).
Clear as mud?
Back to our endorphin example for some clarification. Endorphin is short for “Endogenous Morphine”. Morpheus was the god of dreams. Morphine was discovered before endorphins. Morphine is chemically similar enough to endorphin that it can bind to the endorphin receptor. If we didn’t already have endorphins, Morphine would have no affect on us at all.
By taking a drug we artificially increase the amount of a certain neuropeptide floating around in our blood. This increase is usually to a level above our normal homeostasis (internal balance) for a short time for a specific affect. In many cases, the body reacts by decreasing the amount of that chemical it produces on its own, partially because it doesn’t need to produce any more and partially to avoid over saturation.
Now, when you routinely introduce a synthetic version of a neuropeptide into your body, your body eventually stops producing its own which can leave you with a deficit. In the case of sleeping meds, if your body doesn’t need to produce melatonin, it won’t - it waits for its external source to arrive which in some cases can mean that without the external source, you can’t get to sleep.
In some medical cases our body simply isn’t producing enough of the needed neuropeptide and as such we can use external sources to bring us back to normal levels. Type 1 diabetes being a good example of where a neuropeptide (insulin) is absent in the body.
So here’s 2 questions:
1) Is type 1 diabetes a result of a lack of insulin?
2) Is anxiety a result of a lack of Ativan?
I would suggest that whenever you are prescribed a medication you ask yourself a few questions. What neuropeptide is this drug substituting for? Do I need that substitution? Do I plan on having my body go back to taking care of itself after I finish the med?
Joe
Pot can help, sure. But in my personal experience, it’s also likely to a) add anxiety and paranoia to existing insomnia, worsening it, b) add repetitive, looping thoughts to existing insomnia, worsening it , or c) succeed in allowing sleep by causing an 18-hour coma followed by worse than usual depression. Hell with that!
Fortunately for me (haha, right!), I’ve currently got the opposite problem. I have a very hard time not sleeping 16 hours a day… Trade for a while?
I just realized I have Hypomania.
Did Johnny Cash know he was a drug addict or did he just take the pills because they made him feel better?
listen to my wife nag about furntiure….that’ll knock you out.
I’ve always had insomnia difficulties as well. Oxazepam helps me somewhat, I still have trouble at times though.
I was taking Effexor for years….oh my GOD was that shit hard to get off….the withdrawal was insane and horrible. I had buzzing “electric shocks” going through my head every five second s or so and I was the moody bitch from hell for months.
Whenever I am restless and cannot fall asleep I usually tug one out………….then it’s either ham sandwich or makin mimi’s time………..either way you’ll feel rested.
I don’t know Matt, this is all very worrying and I sincerely hope somehow there’s a resolution in all of this for you. It must be awful to be on the road and have to deal with this out of your regular routine and away from the people/things (pets) who bring you comfort and distraction. I know that you’re being prescribed this stuff…but, long term, is it ALL the best solution? Sure, some of it you MUST take, but I’d probably be seeking second/third opinions (when you have time) on a drug cocktail that’s not leaving you feeling so good. Some doctors prescribe medicine far too easily, without thinking of the overall picture - it’s just the here and now fix it routine. Obviously, you’re an intelligent man though, who’s seeking the best treatment. Just make sure that you really make your own assessments and don’t do anything that you feel uncomfortable with. Most people that we saw when I worked at an alcohol & drug treatment center started out with a medical or psychological problem that they were prescribed something for. But, for some, their dependency to the drugs ended up being much more of a problem in the end than what they’d originally been treated for. It became a vicious circle where their original ailment was simply replaced be a handful of other problems in the form of drug dependency. So was the trade off worth it? As I said, I know that some meds can’t be avoided and are critical to maintain good mental/physical health. Just question if every single one that you’re taking is absolutely necessary……make sure that you’re the one in charge of your “feel good” plan and that if things aren’t working, you make it be known and change course. Get several doctors opinions, if necessary. I’ve learned NOT to put my trust too willingly in the hands of others and that I re-evaluate things that don’t sit well. I’m afraid I lost my mother because I ran with the “doctors know best” adage that was being challenged by my instincts (that I probably should’ve listened to).
I certainly don’t have the answers - my 16 year old daughter is currently experiencing severe insomnia, anxiety and some nausea. She missed a year of school due to it and I’m currently scrambling around, trying to find answers. She saw a psychiatrist and is involved with a children’s mental health therapist and we’re working on it without the use of drugs at the moment (my choice - the psychiatrist, within 45 minutes of meeting her, recommended drug therapy. I didn’t feel he’d taken enough time to make a good assessment). But I’m definitely open to the fact that she may, in fact, have to go the medicinal route if all else fails…I’m just reluctant to start on that path without exploring other options. She seems to have responded well to some techniques that her therapist has given her, and that has me hopeful. It’s very worrying to see someone you love in this position and be unable to help them. It turns her whole world upside down and she can barely function at times…lately, it’s been better and I think the things she’s doing are helping.
I know it’s important to keep a routine and obviously, being on the road, that goes right out the window. I’m going to suggest some real obvious things that you’ve probably heard a million times…more natural remedies like caffeine free teas before bed that contain things like chamomile and valerian root. Also, I think it’s imperative that you do get some kind of exercise in the day - something like a brisk walk or bike ride each day…you’d be amazed at how much that helps. It doesn’t have to be anything too over the top….just brisk walking in the fresh air for 30 minutes or so. Not too late in the evening though…that can rev you up and make it even harder to sleep. And, honestly, some breathing/relaxation techniques can really be helpful…sounds too simple and obviously nothing to “cure” things….just something that can help. Being a man with access to things like this, I’d also recommend getting full body massages - seriously, very soothing, calming and if you combine all these things together, I think they’ll definitely help. Will they mean you don’t need meds?….no. But they might help offset some of the feelings that the meds are creating. Sounds a little too easy and I’m not suggesting that this will “fix” things, only that it can’t hurt and may offer a new routine that’s centered around taking care of as well as medicating yourself. I’m somewhat of a believer in holistic health and medicine is just part of getting better.
You’re a good man - it pains me to hear of your troubles. And I’m way over here, in a corner somewhere, pulling for you to find inner peace, good health and well being in this shitstorm of a life. As usual, I’ve said too much. I’m making up for lost time as yesterday I was “stifled” by MY first experience with Ativan, taken before a root canal. I didn’t like it much.
I’m going to echo Debs comment here.. and second Duane’s comment on the Heath Ledger similarities. In fact I said as much the other day to Eva aka Bunster.
Take it easy on yourself. I know this pays the bills and is your outlet, but your biggest fans, your wonderful family and kick ass group of friends, completely understand if you decide to take some time off and relax your mind.. Your still you no matter what.. and we still adore you no matter what.
Sometimes our bodies speak to us in ways that will get our attention best. I seems that yours is screaming volumes at you.
Ah, the curse of a brain that just won’t SHUT UP! At least take comfort that you are not alone on your wakeful nights. BJ
Quoting Candice:
I expressed how I was having a craving for a joint to my case worker. I’ve been heavely advised to stay away from it. It slows the ingestation of your medication to a point were it becomes ineffective.
Take a page out of the Beatles song book and just stop touring for a few years. Eventually, after taking the time to focus on recording and finding themselves spiritually, they got the urge to tour again (of course they didn’t because they were at each other’s throats by that time). Judging by the number of demos we’ve been fortunate to hear in the two months you were off, it’s obvious it could be hard for you to quit the creative process for good, so take a few years just to create. You could write something, a novel, another book of short stories - you know, something. You’re a little bit of a visual artist, are you not? Revisit it and take it up as a side hobby. A few trips would help. I’m not talking about moving clear to the other side of the world to get away from it all for good, but something like six week backpacking trip that takes you to every country in Europe - 36 isn’t old buddy, you can still do the backpacking thing. :)
But if you still insist on touring, even after all this, that’s cool too. You have the support in whatever you do. Just try to slow down a bit. Your mind and body will thank you.
Smoking pot for me is like taking Neo Citrin. It makes my mind start going bonkers and keeps me awake and planny and obsessive and paranoid.
I’m a fairly anxious person, I have too many things on my mind and can never accomplish one thing because my plans are overlapping.. It all comes crashing in on me when I go to bed each night…. the only thing that combats it is milk…. some say warm milk, some say cold… for me it’s personal pref… whatever I fee like.. But I swear, if I go to bed and forget to have milk, I’m laying there away for hours…. Get up, get milk, come back to bed and I’m crashed… So, I know it’s the milk…….
Not sure if you are lactose intollerant or if you just hate milk but even taking a calcium pill and hour before bed or having yogurt might help… there is some sort of naturally calming ingredient in calcium.
Breast milk is very sweet, just so you know.
You need to get yourself a hot woman in a french maid outfit, with strong hands, a bottle of warm massaging oil and let her go to work on you. Their….problem sovled!!!
P.S. Thank you for sharing. I love reading about your past experiences and struggles. Your openness astounds me. Hope you get the sleep you deserve.
Sorry to hear about how much drugs you have to take. I guess if you didnt do so many drugs.. you could probably sound like this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I8VxKrSPhQg
Massages. I know that would work..
Thats tough man, Ive had bouts with insomnia myself. I hope you feel better and it doesnt last; its one of the worst things to be lying in bed staring at the ceiling and not being able to fall asleep…..
Wow, I have always wondered with touring bands, with so many getting sick or getting laringitis or just in general being very worn out/hoarse…. Is it possible to go on tour and have 3 or 4 nights in between each show, rather than 1 or 2? I guess there are a lot of factors like tour duration, budget, and not getting proper rest on the road.. but to the unfamiliar the solution could be that simple.
I wouldn’t last a week rocking out every night :)
A few years ago I was diagnosed with bipolar. Actually it was drug induced bipolar. Gravol became a good friend of mine also. Originally it was panic attacks and depression so I was prescribed paxil. It helped the anxiety attacks but caused mania. I couldnt sleep, and well you know the rest of what manic episodes are like. When they discovered that the paxil was causing manic episodes, they gave me another two medications to offset it to help bring me back down and balance it out. I remember thinking at the time that it didnt make sense. If the paxil was causing manic episodes then why not just take me off the paxil instead of adding more drugs. When I started taking all three drugs I wasnt manic or depressed or anxious. I wasnt anything, just kind of numb. I hated it. I wasnt myself at all. I decided there that the drugs werent for me. That I was going to balance my body out naturally. I went off all three meds at once. I know they dont recommend that and it was hard since I went through what i guess were withdrawls (which they say shouldnt happen since the drug companys swear they arent addictive… right) I started with eliminating caffine all together, processed sugars, and just taking more time for myself through yoga, regular massages, and running. I still get anxious once in a while but very rarely now and usually when I have neglected myself by not getting enough sleep or stress. I really do recommend the running and yoga. They both really help you to sleep better at night. And eliminating caffine was a huge one for me. I just wanted to share my experience with you. it has worked very well for me.
I am always amazed at your openness with how you are feeling. Thank you for sharing it. I think alot of people have gone through or are going through the same and its reassuring to know that you arent the only one. Thank you.
Also I have quite a history of sleep issues, I had some sucess with melatonin in small doses. I’ve been to several sleep doctors in vancouver/calgary/USA and given my complete lack of sucess and aversion to chemical drugs, melatonin and SAD lights have been the most recommended solution to insomina problems aside from of course diet, routine, etc.
Gravol used to work for me too and now the largest doeses are’t cutting it…my body fights it off,leaving me to feel like absolute shit through the night and the next morning…I don’t even know if its worth taking anymore…I’ve been told to see doctor about my sleep issues but I haven’t yet.
I once heard a quote
from a brilliant man who put
devastating power in the palms of our hands
I don’t recall the exact words
but man I understand…
You cannot solve a problem with the same mind
You cannot solve a problem with the same mind
You cannot solve a problem with the same mind
You gotta change your mind.
“The significant problems we have,cannot be solved at the same level of thinking with which we created them”
Albert Einstein.
hahaha i actually laughed out loud when i read that part about the “metallic” taste.
i have insomnia, and have been off and on with the “metallic” little blue pills for a couple years, but just recently i was talking to my doctor and bitching about how those pills leave a nasty taste in your mouth for the entire day. as a matter of fact, i woke up at 6 AM this morning for work with that exact taste. not pleasant!
funny thing is - my brother used to do the same thing as your ex-wife (”borrow” them from me) and he said he couldn’t taste a thing. my doctor was saying something like 50% of people complain about an “adverse” (read - terrible) taste with those little blue pills.
strange, but hilarious that someone else feels my pain (that and the dependency factor with those things is also sort of a pain in the ass - not really much of a long term solution!).
Drink a lot of coffee during the day.
Health first.
Whatever you do you should not knowingly put yourself in a position where you will be tempted to repeat the same mistakes.
Try being a university student, sleep seems to come pretty easily for us lol.
But in all seriousness I hope you can get a good night’s sleep soon. Best of luck Matt!
maybe the question is;
whats keeping you from being good to yourself?
stronger you are stronger youll be for everyone.
we all have our very own recipe to wellness..
chosing it is much harder than it seems.
wish you well.very well.
*
HONESTLY
Matt I would pull the plug on the rest of the tour. Your health is WAY more important. You can always resume the tour at a later date or schedule a new one. You cannot however schedule a new life. If you re-read some of the past weeks or so post you will see this is NOT a very good situation.
Quoting Patrick Pitt:
LMAO thats priceless….Hilarious.
Quoting billybadass:
LMAO again. You guys are killing me. Too funny.
wth is tug one out? i have never heard that term…. i live under a rock.
mimi’s time? wtf
ha ha ha at Patrick…. I relate to yo wife…… and it definately puts my guy to sleep, that’s for sure.
Quoting T-Lee:
Tug one off, is umm…..masterbating. LMAO….Yuck I hate that word. Masterbating….LMAO….Now I cant stop saying it. Masterbating…..Ok, I need to slow down on the coffee apparetnly….LMAO….Oh and I don’t get mimi’s time as well. What is that???
Oh god, please stop.
:o)~~~~
ie… I hate the word too.. why couldn’t they have thought of a different word? who freaking named it that anyways?
I wish this was a fun thread… we could have some fun and start renaming it.. but we’re talking about sleep here.. so ahem.
um
ooooooooooohm
K..I’m going with what some others have already mentioned…
I prescribe a strict regiment of vigorous sex…and like LOTS of it… I’ve never known a man not to sleep like a baby after somethign like that. Go get some regular messages and do things that naturally relax your mind.
Otherwise, grab your spandex and your fanny pack and go for that run everyone is suggesting..LOL Can you effing imagine?
And I do second what Duane said.. your situation leans on a Ledger like precipis ( i cannot spell today).. I realize you take a lot of stuff, but just adding more is gonna confuse your body more. Seriously need to be careful dude.
OK Mr. Good, almost showtime in Detroit!!!!! Have a great time!!!! Can’t wait to read the set list afterwards!!
My friend will be attending so I must find my phone card here…. I’m gettin the treat of my life tonight..
The Matthew Good concert via phone!!!!!!!!!
eeeeeeeee, I’m so excited…
p.s. Sweetness, I hope your battery is charged.
Quoting T-Lee:
I know…..Maybe next time. But…tugging one off, could do the trick. lol
Matt,
Take some time off and relaxo. You probably can’t sleep because you have too much on your mind. Get out of the rat race, run away for a while. Rent a sweet cottage on a lake in Northern Ontario and chill for 6 months with your doggies. Eat, drink and be merry. I would if I could, but I am too busy selling prescription drugs so I can pay my mortgage. What a joke, I know. Don’t hate me … drug rep’s need love too. Now if I could only secure that Lorazepam position I would never have to worry about not sleeping agian. They are, as you stated, unequalled. But for now I will have to keep stelaing them from my 72 year old dad … is that wrong?
ha ha ha… that is cracking me up…. who makes this stuff up? it’s classic.
“yo honey, don’t worry about me, i’ll just tug one off”….
‘oh ok, i’ll just go on mg dot org then, enjoy your playboy chan’
Get food poisoning again. That netted you a good 18 hours didn’t it?
:)
lmao too funny. Can you imagaine if us girls talked like that. “Hey sweetie, give me a sec, I am just gonna double click the mouse” before we leave. OMG yuck!!! Nothing grosser then smashing pissers though. That one has to top it off.
Ok, back to Matt and his sleep. Yeah ummm….hmmmm….can’t really think of anything not mentioned on here. I think Matt should try each one of the recommendations then get back to us. I would be highly curious on how the “tugging one off” would go. LMAO
Throw on the GOLF CHANNEL..Guaranteed you’ll be sleeping in no time!! Not only is it boring to watch it on tv but people sitting around TALKING about golf??? Wow!
Jnifer.. you’re friggin killin me.. yet again, tears coming out of my eyes….
never heard any of those terms before..
what i treat i’m getting today. ha ha ha
double click the mouse. ha ha ha.
oh and p.s. a little tid bit of info….. i have had many guys tell me that is isn’t always talk of sex and chicks… well, not until alot of beers are consumed……
Wow that is some screwed up stuff! ! !
I don’t take pills, I won’t take pills, not in a box with a fox.
Psychologists don’t know what to do when I say I’m never gonna fill that RX so save the paper.
Never herd of these sleeping pills or medications people speak of.
I guess I’m lucky or just boring cause I catch seven good hours of sleep everyday.
I’m only 30 yrs old so I guess the sleeplessness will start when I’m older.
Happy snoozing! ! !
The picture is completely different when beers are consumed I tell ya.
T- Lee, your friggen hilarious.
Quoting redbaron:
Hmmm, I’m not sure how to take this… so I think I will just shut my yap.
yeah Gravol’s good, I’ve been there man.
Maybe I’m mixing this up with a scene from Happy Gilmore but it helps to find yr happy place, time-travel through memory or find a thought that just works or at least works for the first few chapters of the thought.
I’m in the same boat and have read up on it and tried to find out what I could and I think it’s to do with either the body being more tired than the mind or vice versa, never in sync.
As per what to do, I don’t know, crosswords, online pool, read books, learn like a mandolin or whatever. Go kick a soccer ball around, shoot the puck. I wish I could turn sleep on and off like a switch myself but being awake isn’t the worst problem on earth to have, just sometimes does a good impression.
All the sleepless nights add up though and I should have learned a craft, all I’m an expert on now is more and more ceilings.
nuts. drink some fuckin peroni and talk to someone about politics. elephants. (sick post)
i guess i have it easy- i only have to take 4 benadryls and i’ll fall asleep within 40 mins. a little wine and it’s about 10 mins.
http://www.sleepbot.com/ambience/broadcast/
This helps me sleep sometimes.
Quoting Monkey:
that’s some amazing advice….i’d add exercise … mind you i don’t know what it’s like to deal with bipolar disorder, so any advice comes with that disclaimer…
Oh, I just remembered what used to put a guy to sleep that had problems.. The album by Ben Folds Five with the song Brick… very calming.
Oh man, I hope someone is filming tonite in Detroit.. Our boy is back, baby!!! He is so on….
Load me up was BEAUTIFUL….
Quoting redbaron:
I wouldn’t accept a prescription from a psychologist, either.
Quoting daala:
Right after I posted this I remembered I forgot to mention exercise (but during the day, not right before bed). The rest of it is about invoking a pleasant dream state that you want to enter, so your body gets relaxed and wrapped up in a story and then it’s the next morning. I only know about bipolar (and schizophrenic, and autistic…gah) from falling in love with people with it - I personally am just dealing with chronic, inherited insomnia (my dad used to eat a tub of ice cream every night, but somehow I don’t think my thighs would be down with that cure).
When I push myself hard everyday for weeks and even months on end, constantly thinking and writing until I finally get to the point where I question everything around me. It’s like I need a reality check. So what do I do? I think some more until I sometimes scare myself because I begin to think that I am alone in my feelings. I want to close my eyes and wake up to a be