Plenty of conversations today. Plenty of wondering what we all do now. Time’s stood still in a way, but the years are there to prove otherwise. We’re different, subdued, but okay with it. Waiting on some innocent teenage love to save us, too old to believe it’s still possible, too stubborn to abandon the hope that it isn’t.
I’ve woken up for years and seen you. Your hair smells like summer feels when you’re a kid; worriless. We’re old and we’re withered and we’re there on that couch, the clock ticking in the hall, enveloped in the best of silences. Comfortable, a whole past to remember, laughter and anger and everything else; all stories behind pictures, all the truths that we were just before and just after we paused for those brief moments when they were taken. Who are we and who aren’t we? What were we and what weren’t we?
Never one of those people that didn’t know what they wanted, just that they wanted it. A dime a dozen in a world full of spare change, Goldilocks slinking out into the night, teeth chattering into smiles, spreading legs for legs up. One day the house will fall in. One day not so far off.
I’ve got you where I want you, fixed up here like a fresco on some ancient ceiling. Just can’t find the country. Just can’t picture angels anymore without serpent tails. Maybe wandering’s all I’ve got left. It’s got to end somewhere though. Somehow.
In Addition
I posted this last night but somehow it had disappeared when I woke up this morning.
this is all so lovely and haunting…
i love the first paragraph. everything about it. it’s so true and captures reality so perfectly (reality; the state i’m in…obviously that you’re in, and probably others too…). you described it so well and poignantly!
I think i liked that more the second time i read it…
wow… not sure if it’s meant that way, but this could be a great song.
DEFINATE song material
Oh man. That was really lovely.
I wish you’d write more like this.
beautiful man.
that was like the forward on the third page that convinces you to put the book down, because the pages that follow could never be as good.
The house may fall in but the foundation will stand
I’m glad its back up, Matt; this entry obviously speaks from a lot of personal experience so it can never mean to me what it means to you, but I can tell that to me it is utter beauty.
I was saddened when I saw it had disappeared from the site so I copied a mirror of last nights version to my own blog for posterity.
http://thebadness.org/2008/03/zero-hours/
Beautiful, honest, painful, and true.
emo~!
Are you in San Diego?
“Waiting on some innocent teenage love to save us, too old to believe it’s still possible, too stubborn to abandon the hope that it isn’t.”
Well, call me a dreamer, but I don’t think we’re ever too old to dream about some teenage type love at first thingy thing… Anything that is ‘new’ when we first meet someone, no matter how old we are is still suppossed to give you a flitter in your heart…
My favourite Leonard Cohen poem is The Way Back… your final paragraph reminded me of its final stanza:
I wait for you at an
unexpected place in your journey
like the rusted key
or the feather you do not pick up
until the way back
after it is clear
the remote and painful destination
changed nothing in your life
That’s a beautiful, emotional chunk of words. It could be familiar for all of us for one reason or another that no one else should dare to know.
That’s why I love art, in all of its many forms including a blog post.
Beautiful
That was beautiful Matt.
Standing still has its rewards.
That orange glow made me think of forest fires.
Well if you don’t plan on making it into a song, find a place in an eventual second book! Wonder what that would be called: “Actually, there IS still stuff to say, so here it is.” or “You can’t shut up Matt Good!”
All that to say that you shouldn’t stop writing this stuff, it’s beautiful.
And for some reason, as I read the final words of that, “Dusk” popped into my head!
… “Awake, Light, Dusk” …
Maybe that’s all there really is. (or at least it’s all that’s left unchanged)
How wonderful that we can crave for our whole life, all that we tasted when we were young.
sigh
I can relate to this very much (minus Goldilocks). Choked me up, beautful. thank you
” Maybe wandering’s all I’ve got left. It’s got to end somewhere though. Somehow. “
If Wandering’s all You have left….
Then Wandering IS what keeps You going….
Do You ever wonder if You would truly want it to end….?
“We’re different, subdued, but okay with it. Waiting on some innocent teenage love to save us, too old to believe it’s still possible, too stubborn to abandon the hope that it isn’t.”
You can always seem to cut to the heart of things for me, but you never tell me what I should do.
Been a while since you made me cry man. Thank you.
Hey, I like the ref to ‘Been a while since I was your man”.. good play on words, Sean!!!
Can’t wait to hear how the L.A. show went tonite.. was it sold out?
I think it’s been said enough to give you an idea, but that was really really nice.
. .
o Wow that was beautiful
Thank You
Where did you write this Matt? SF?
kind of sounds like the types of dreams i have or the feelings i get right after waking up from an intense and vivid dream… Then feeling turns to thinking and i’m lying there with tears falling from my eyes and onto my pillow.