There was a time, not so long ago, that I seriously considered moving to a remote part of the world, detaching myself from every form of news media, and growing fruits or vegetables. I would, I told myself, write another book, a fiction that had nothing to do with the political, something steeped in the absurdly fantastical, and live out my days under the sun and stars of a place too distant to be affected by the madness that has gripped the world.
I’ll not lie to you; the idea still doesn’t seem all that bad. In fact, I’ve even done some research as to where I might go were I to actually do it. All of the locations are in the South Pacific, tiny islands of no consequence, far removed from the world at large, the perfect place for sunny sanity to reign and the malaise of concrete super-cities to wash away.
We live in a world of idiocy - a world perpetually at war, perpetually governed by greed, perpetually influenced by religious intolerance that hypocritically promotes the tenets of acceptance, perpetually influenced by small minded individuals that can’t see past the end of their own noses. The world is, in short, a donkey with a carrot dangled in front of it that it will never reach but will always strive to attain.
Call me an elitist. In fact, call me anything you’d like. I’ve had it up to my eyeballs with stupidity. The world is so full of shit that even my hair and eyes are brown. I’m tired of myself, I’m tired of you, I’m tired of a lot of things - now watch me hit this drive.
In the words of one my best friends - “I want to live a very spiritual, solitary, and tranquil life…just with a lot of pussy.”
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I guess this is what you get when you voted twice for a guy that did the 12-step and doesn’t drink on the basis that he’s the kind of guy you could see yourself having a beer with.
Is getting pussy elitist now? Cause if the choice is between not being an elitist and bowling, or being an elitist and getting some, I’ll have the foie gras.
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No one writes fantasy from paradise anyway.
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Cheers to you my friend… Here’s to finding your quest of hedonistic solace;)
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Beautifully said!
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hey matt, take me with you man….
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Actually, I HOPE you find your carrot. I was so amused by that last line that I forgot how to spell for a second.
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It’s nice to think about. Hell, I thought about never returning to Canada after finding a nice little spot in New Zealand that I could call home. But then you get lonesome. And you miss stupid things like driving on the right side of the road, a place where they call fries, “fries” and not “chips” and where you don’t have an accent the second you open your mouth and being able to pick up the phone and talk to Mom and Dad whenever you want.
You’ll miss your family. Maybe if you can get over that and concentrate on the writing and growing fruit and vegetables it’d be enough.
After months of counting down the days to this vacation, I’m counting down the days where I can be at home, in my own bed, amongst my family and friends and knowing that there’s a place in this world that I belong.
Be careful what you wish for.
That is a freakin’ eerie picture too.
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I know exactly what you are talking about. It would be nice to get away from everyday stresses and all the bullshit around us. I can see myself living in a little apartment somewhere near the ocean where it’s always nice working a job that is stress free.
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I have very good friends who moved to a tiny island in the South Pacific (very beautiful)…they loved their life, their work…There was no violent crime EVER on this island…. However they were beaten to death along with their son. And worse, my friend’s 10 year old daughter was held captive for two days…all for a barely working 20 year old VCR (and the guy with drug problems), they would’ve given away if asked. No one place is without it’s own problems…
Yet if they had to do it all over again, I’m sure they would still go. The culture is beautiful, the people, the land…. a large part of my heart lies there and I will stay one day for a good stretch….
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Boy, do you need a break. It’s just going to be such a ballache getting to where you want to be…and will it really then be paradise?? You can come and stay with me in England if you like. I’ve a lonely black labrador that needs lots of walks and a new friend…
xx
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i have dreams like this also.
only mine involve a tiny outport community. completely backwards but friendly.
i’d love to have a woodstove and a wall full of records. billie holiday for rainy sunday mornings.
grow vegetables in my backyard and herbs on my windowsills.
to paint for a living. to get away from all of this bullshit.
but the sad thing is this bullshit is a part of us now…like our lungs and our noses perhaps.
i hope that someday you get that paradise.
i’ll cross my fingers for you.
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You can run, but you can never hide.
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There’s no place in this world totally safe from human eagerness for power. South Pacific? What about Mururoa? You might end up accidentally blown to pieces by some nuclear test or a new internation camp for terror suspects opens up next door. You never know…
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*hugs*
many other people have thought exactly the same.
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It would be severely understating things to say I fucking agree. Cabin in the woods, shack on the beach… wherever, man. Just get me the hell outta here and away from everyone and everything else.
(That picture is maybe one of the best things I’ve ever seen. I’m given to hyperbole, yes, but I mean it. I’ll miss things like that when I’m living in Tonga.)
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Mission accomplished, I understood, I often have the same thoughts, I laughed!
The best I could do for now, was leave BC after 15 years to buy an “affordable” home on a great fishing lake in Ontario(my birth province) just outside of Ottawa and start working from home to avoid people, and within a month or so, I should have wireless highspeed again as well! Right On! I don’t rule out moving to some place tropical in future though, because I hate winter!
See you at Bluesfest. Man, I hope Amy is going to show up for her gig too, but you never know with that girl, she’s messed up!
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As relaxing as the South Pacific may be, something tells me that you’re not one of those people who can go “unheard” for what’s left of a lifetime. Considering the mediums you use to get your art and opinions into the world; music, photography, writing, video…
I don’t know, man. I just can’t picture you putting that all in a box and hiding it somewhere.
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Quoting kbernardp:
dito.
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You should read “Kiss the Sunset Pig” by Laurie Gough. Up your ally right now if you have time.
My eyes are brown too, I dream of the same adventure; remote island, sun shine everyday, the bliss of not a soul knowing you, and learning a different way of living and loving life. When my son turns 18, I will be the one leaving home to travel the world.
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Amen, brother. The only trick is finding an island with wi-fi.
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I’m about ready to move to the island next door.
In the meantime, I *do* live in a big old rambling farmhouse in the country, next to a lake (with Internet). And we have spare rooms.
Just sayin’.
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You know…
It’s only one Step away…..
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There’s a dirty monastery out there somewhere… and I’m gonna find it!
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Quoting Dale Mugford:
Leonard Cohen lived in a Buddhist monastery for many years (searching for that elusive inner peace). And we all know he’s a Ladies’ Man!
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i say go for it man, you deserve to get away. and another book would be wonderful, espicially one that is “steeped in the absurdly fantastical”. i love reading everything you write and i know im not the only one.
just dont forget about us when ur lounging arround in the sun on your little island paradise ok? ;)
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I’d be satisfied to just get 8-9 good hours of solid rest that lets me dream about lazing around doing nothing.
Except getting laid, of course.
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hmmm what to google today:
where in the world is pussy galore?
p.s. Matt how was France?
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Thank God for the imagination so we can all go “there”.
p.s. love that last line!
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Finally your talking my language. No matter how hard you fight, the idiots win.Even if you do win ,they will create 10 other problems. Grand Cayman Island, some coronas, a fishing pole and a lounge chair. Some one bring the limes
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I have blonde hair and blue eyes, but I completly agree with escaping the shit that we have made for ourselves. In regrads to the whole living on an island thing…I have always wanted to go to Ireland and spend most of my days reading and writing about everything and anything that interests me. The sad part is that there is always something to hold us back. We might not even be able to find that aspect that prevents us and I’m envious of those who can just get up and go. There is always stuff to do and money that is need. It’s always someday right?
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Why not just go to DJ’s ranch? What you described in Chartattack sounded fantastic.. The dogs could run free.. oh , they would be so happy.. I’m sure you would too… Plus you said he has some amazing friends who are just all around cool people.. cool people are hard to come by these days..
When I asked how France was, I think I meant, have you ever said how long you were there for, and if you had an ok time while you were there…. Hope it was a memorable experience……. Metal Airplanes is in my top 2 faves on the album, and whenever I listen, it takes me there with you and I feel definately a sense of sadness but it’s France, so I then hope that you were able to find peace while you were there….
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If you can’t go the whole way, and need to compromise, having a plan in place so that you can go and re-charge your batteries somewhere,when not immersed in the daily grind and meeting responsibilities, might be the next best thing. If you’re like me, the reality is that you gotta pay to play - and that means work of some kind.
There’s a lot of beautiful country where I live, so I’m able to get out there, where there’s nobody else around and put things back in perspective. No people, outside cell-phone range, etc. I think if each of us does not have some method and time to do this then it’s pretty easy to get overwhelmed with the bullshit-reality show-everything-revolves-around-the- mighty-dollar world we have crammed down our throats every day.
South Pacific sounds nice though - Fiji is great if you get away from the main island and as far as I know Fiji Bitter still comes in stubbies.
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There really isn’t anywhere to hide anymore. Millions of environmental refugees are seeing that now. All those islands are getting blown down my monsoons, cyclones, tsunamis, and whatever else and any property is being bought up for coffee, eucalyptus, oil and ethanol. Sooo…
I think your better off grabbing a tent and heading up the mountains somewhere near a pretty stream. As elusive as it may be, it’s probably your best option. At least, that’s my opinion, after I did some scouring last year.
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That’s what I’m doing this summer. For a good week. No cellphone. No computer. Just me, my boyfriend, our dog, and a tent. It’s only a week but I’m sure it will do some good to get away from the everyday world bullshit.
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Matt seriously needs to get laid.
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i get what ur saying matt, and totally agree,
but i also think:
the grass is always greener…
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Quoting Mike Florek:
I just can’t help of thinking that our problems and the fact that they grow more and more insolvable are to a great extent owed to exactly that kind of human thinking: ‘it’s all too complicated, everything’s shit, I’m tired of it - so I’ll leave it for the others and seek a clean place to ruin instead’…
Please don’t take that personally, I’m totally with you and all the others here. It has something overwhelmingly romantic to imagine a world without ignorance and arrogance. Ironically you’d first have to sort out humans to make that dream reality ;o)
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Quoting Stormydog:
I would love nothing more than to spend my days outside, enjoying my suroundings, walking a pup…………is the offer open to anyone :).
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The first thing I do when BNC takes off is sublet my apartment and do a six month coffee shop tour of Europe and South America.
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it’s amazing how no one actually reads the tags for entries before commenting.
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Can’t say I long to join all you folks wanting to retreat to some secluded corner of the world. I see this sort of escapist dream as one of the underlying issues within Western cultural values. While relatively benign, escapist dreamings promote a cynical, lackadaisical view of the world as people are more likely to spend their time worrying about how to reach some idealized reality instead to making their reality ideal. Why? Because it is easier to shut down and let the idiots ramble on and continue their idiocy while looking for your private little corner of existence then it is to continually challenge that idiocy and question the idiots (and who knows, perhaps even educate them in the process so they are no longer idiots).
So while I hope folks find their ideal dream island/beach/cottage/whatever, I can’t say I’ll be joining you all in that quest (or even holding that dream). I’d rather stick it out in the trenches, even if that makes me an idiot.
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Just the thought of being able to go away to live in a distant place not being plagued by this worlds madness, is an everyday thought. Everything and everyone far away, being able to do as you please and be as you are without the judgment of others following you with every step you take.
To be able to live a life where we can raise our children without electronics, materialistic items and drugs consuming their life, to get back to being outside and enjoying life for what is naturally provided. I want my children to use their imaginations. I remember days of tree forts, nature walks, hiking through the “roughest terrain” in the woods and the numerous days that flew by as different “episodes” of fantasy worlds came in and out of our young minds. I want to hear my children tell the stories of their day at dinner time, I want to be able to take part and feed their imaginations and let them run wild. To preserve the youth and allow them to be in a world unlike today.
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Quoting Matthew Good:
Signs are for people who don’t read them.
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You see, man. Your problem is that you’re putting pussy on a pedestal. You need to bang out some hood rats first.
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You would not be the first.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=NOqEyZfgh00
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Quoting Matthew Good:
I’m going to start tagging my comments.
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My husband I just got back from our happy place in the Carribean; a quiet island where you can regroup about a lot of things; reconnect with one another and soak in salt water and vitamin D. I think you probably could live like that but I don’t believe you could cut yourself off from the world and it’s perpetual plight. The fact that you react the way you do to everything around you makes you who you are. You feel things a little more deeply than some. I don’t think you can successfully separate yourself from that. Being really tired of it all; that’s totally understandable. Sometimes it feels like you carry the world’s weight on your shoulders. But what will be will be. Just don’t forget to breathe.
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Maybe we can wash away a large percentage of the bullshit. I personally subscribe to the polar shift theory. We are due to cross a celestial equator around the beginning of 2013 (yes, the over-hyped 2012 scenario), but just as weather systems reverse themselves when you cross our equator, might the Earth do the same? Apparently our planet has done so in its past.
A polar shift could result in endless configurations. I’m favouring the one where North America turns on its side, just south of the equator. We are, for those who remain, the sunny outpost.
Such a shift could happen in a matter of hours or couple of days. Anyone near oceans, the Great Lakes, any significant body of water would be… fucked. It’s been estimated we would lose 85% of the world’s population, directly by flood or indirectly be conflicts over basic resources (sound familiar?) within weeks. Think about it. 7 billion reduced to 1 billion. Or less, if you have read up on this event (I’ve seen as low as 100 million survivors worldwide).
The survivors would spend many years trying to piece their way(s) of life back together. I’d be willing to bet that many nations would no longer exist. Maybe they’d even get it right this time. Depends on WHO survived, I suppose. Maybe we would come back a better version of ourselves. Maybe things could be more tranquil. Of course, we would have a need to re-populate. Pussy would be a higher priority. It’s a longshot, but I can dream…
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Quoting Matthew Good:
Those of us who have read the tags and decided to follow your line of humor of wanting to live in a far off place that we can do as we please, raise our children without the issues of today, leave the world behind may also be in on the humor, only we hit publish before adding the frosting on the cake
- “I want to live a very spiritual, solitary, and tranquil life…just with a lot of cock.” (which makes me feel as though I will be judged by that statement)-
AND we cannot “tag” our comments and allow everyone to see our sarcasm. :P
I guess I could start typing in my tags at the end of my comments.
Tags: 2008, humor, sarcasm, follow the leader, Angelboo Battlestar Princess
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Quoting Matthew Good:
OK, OK,….I just caught your post at the end of a working lunch break (f*cking paradox that is) with some Honeywell marketing guys. I thought you might be serious. I mean, do you actually LIKE cats??!!
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Quoting angelboo:
Hey, that’s my idea! Read up! :P
A disclaimer would work as well: “Note: I do not actually intend to move into a cabin in the woods-slash-shack on the beach, despite my often-repeated claims to that effect. However, I am not ruling out the possibility of consuming sufficient quantity of good Australian cab-sauv until I no longer care that I will neverever get there.”
(Disclaimer on my disclaimer: I do not actually have plans to drink myself into oblivion.) (At the moment.)
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Quoting Miss Marianne:
It sure is. Diesel’s big brother Storm had to be put down last week. Storm is buried in the garden, with his collar and rug and Diesel misses him a lot. Come September (after all our vacations, ‘cos kennels won’t take pups) we are getting another Lab pup – and he will be called Thunder.
Dogs…they’re better than people. And cats….
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tag, you’re it
at least you didn’t mention suicide or smoking or any of many other things that rings alarms and fills your inbox.
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Quoting D. Lilly:
Yes, but he closed comments on the cult blog. I’m thinking that’s good for a few dozen e-mails.
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“Why don’t you go buy a horse, live in the mountains, don’t bother anybody…”
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Quoting Matthew Good:
Maybe if you’d let us delete after opening our mouths… :P
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I had a dream of walking up to a Cabana Deli. The girl behind the deli was smoking a cigarette. As I approached she threw her cigarette to the ground, stepped on it with her stiletto an handed me a sandwich covered in a huge banana leaf. All she could speak of was a keen fellow with Roxi shoes that she had her eye on. Now if I could just remember the name of the island.
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http://www.privateislandsonline.com/
Islands for sale, Worldwide
I think I’d go for this one:
http://www.privateislandsonline.com/bransmill.htm
Region Maine, United States
Price US $229,000
Status unknown
Size 88 acres
Location Dover Foxcroft
;)
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OMFG what tags?
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Quoting kbernardp:
Okay, so my thoughts of you being a chick are negatory…
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Quoting D. Lilly:
He has mentioned death alot. not suicide. death. and I don’t believe there is a tag on that one for humour, whatever the hell ‘tag’ means… wtf.. i’m so confused… dude, so you are telling us moving away to DJ’s ranch was a joke too? My head hurts. Did anyone find Bruno last night?
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Quoting T-Lee:
Look under “Folksonomy” under the entries. Tags are just a way of organizing all the entries into categories.
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Quoting T-Lee:
Wow, someone thought I was a chick…
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So if the world is so full of shit you’ve got brown hair/eyes, what was the world full of to produce my blonde hair/green eyed sisters? I ask about them because I really don’t want to know what it was full of to produce redheads. On second thought, Watermelons! There’s a way to get red hair/green eyes using humor! It’s all about the Watermelons.
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Quoting KET:
It’s only closed to you because you haven’t joined the cult.
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Quoting KET:
Great minds think alike!!!! I waited for about 20 minutes for our network at work to come back online before I could hit send, I hate when you have something good to say and can’t say it when you want to!!!!
Tag: 2008, humor, Angelboo Battlestar Princess, KET Warrior Princess, Great minds,
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Quoting kbernardp:
Meh, just kidding…. damn, if only I could have tagged that, so you knew..
At any rate, wtf are hood rats, dude? ew
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Thanks Tiffany, I suck.
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It crossed my mind that I might move to some very remote part of Russia or Canada for retirement in ~30 years. The tranquility of nothing, free to make your genuinely own decisions. By then Russia might even be less evil. Depends mostly on how things go, of course, but I definately understand what you’re on about. Solitude has its merits, compared with the humdrum rat-race and excess of city life.
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I am with you. Now if only I could convince my husband! I always say I want to live where I get last weeks newspaper today. The South Pacific is one of the most amazing areas in the world. I’ve been fortunate to visit and stay in several areas a couple times. Makes me kind of sad thinking about it. Lament….lament….
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Wow, it’s amazing how different of a context you can read something in, when you don’t have Barney playing in the background.
I just read it again..
when will the edit feature arrive in MG land again?
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Quoting angelboo:
Completely off topic (well, that ship has sailed anyway, I think)– your tag for me made me laugh. My name, Kelly, actually means “warrior woman” in Gaelic. (Yeah, that’s right, I’m feisty.) :P
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Quoting revisited:
I THINK that may have been cos of me. :0( I thought it was open season for being a bit crazy so, like an eager puppy, I made some daft comments while under the influence. I think I upset Matthew. I didn’t mean to. Anglo-Canadian humour doesn’t breed too well I guess. Other comments, if any, from me will be distinctly vanilla. For Kingston, I want to wear a Tee shirt I designed as I don’t want to wear a shirt for a tour I haven’t been on, if you know what I mean – it has a large pink pill (like my avatar) and the words “MatthewGood IsFantastica” but now I am scared he might have me thrown out or something…Shit, I am so lonely. I thought I was beginning to get to know some friends on here.
Sorry Matthew. Truly.
:0(
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Hey…turn that frown upside down!
It’s not like you ran over anybody’s dog or banged somebody’s sister.
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Quoting Brian Smart:
No, I know…but I still feel shit about it. I really don’t want to piss him off. Please don’t mention dead dogs. I just lost mine recently and he was my baby. And, as a female, I don’t think I’m likely to bang anyone’s sister…if you mean what I think you mean. :0)
There – a smile. And Formula 1 quali is on, so the sun is shining…
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Sorry about the dog comment - the reference to that and the sisiter thing was not meant literally - just trying to cheer you up via something one of my buddies always says in an annoying camp counsellor kind of voice - it always has the desired effect on me so I figured I’d share.
I’m a dog lover too - Riley is rotating between laying at my feet right now and taking an interest in the kids eating lunch - he’s no dummy - something is bound to hit the floor sooner or later. He’s a 4 year old Golden.
Just my opining, but go and get a new dog. I’ve been there, and it always seems too soon. Puppies tend to help you get over it though, since they demand so much attention and are just so damn goofy.
Whitehorse cable is down today so no Formula 1 (or anything else except DVD’s for awhile). Sun is shining here too which ought to get rid of the snow in the backyard - finally.
Take care.
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I’m consideringmoving to the island to do just this.
Not totally remote, but remote enough when you compare it.
I just spent a week there and it was bliss.
So take hat statement and replace pussy with cock, then it’ll suit me greatly.
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Thanks Brian, that’s real nice of you. For sure, we will get another black lab come October. Between early June / mid September I spend most of my time travelling around Europe following the F1 circus, so a puppy isn’t an option (kennels won’t take him). He will be called Thunder, in memory of Storm.
:0)
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hey sign me up…..just send me an email when ur ready….just make the girls are hot….hahhah…maybe u can get a noah’s arc type thing happening…..