Okay – what the fuck is up with running the Olympic torch around the world? Don’t get me wrong; I understand the tradition of it being carried from Greece to the host country, but seriously, what’s with running the thing all over the bloody globe?
Even more than that, what the fuck is up with climbing Mount Everest with the damn thing? Seriously?
Here’s the route the Olympic torch has and continues to take…
Here, on the other hand, is a direct route between Athens and Beijing…
True, they’d have to run through Afghanistan. But if Terry Fox could make it to Ontario with one leg and Cancer eating away the rest of his body, surely they can pass through the northern reaches of Afghanistan which isn’t even in the grips of war. Then again, the torch might be a neoconservative and not be fond of the idea of passing through Iran – who knows.
Wondering how they’re planning on getting the torch from Greece to London for the 2012 games? Wonder no more…
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That post made my day :)
It is definitely ridiculous that they drag the torch all over the globe before it reaches it’s destination.
I wouldn’t be surprised if they actually parade it through our solar system!
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Lmao!
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AHAHA!!! Yet another post from you that made me almost fall off my chair laughing.
I was also wondering the same thing earlier. Are they trying to get it onto every continent, or what?
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Bahahaha, an excellent prediction Matt!
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Fuck that bottom photo is gold.
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Whats it to you? This is an utterly irrelevant topic. The Olympic torch is a symbol of pride, athleticism, and unity. The torch passes through many countries that will be represented in the coming games, which should also represent a unity of nations competing for atheltic supremacy. This event should be heralded as a place where nations set aside differences, instead the criticism has reached astronomical levels. I usually appreciate your political commentary Matt, however this post seems pretty unimportant compared to your recent comments such as the ones on Burma. Now, let the flaming begin.
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I know - what the fuck is up with that map anyway? It’s like a Monty Python skit. Next will be the 100-yard dash for people with no sense of direction or a footy game between Greek and Roman philoshophers.
Maybe I’m cynical, but I think the Chinese are thinking that on the Everest thing that they get as many Tibetans as possible up there and then just push them off. “What? They slipped - really!”.
The inter-planetary thing is an interesting concept. I’m on team Uranus if for no other reason than I want team swag that says “Team Urnanus” on it, and because that shit was funny in Grade 6 when somebody said Uranus and - well, fuck it - it’s still funny if you are immature enough.
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Pehdtsckjmba
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The Olympics are gay.
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I laughed when I saw the special torch they made so the flame won’t extinguish as they’re taking it up Mount Everest.
Would we consider Pluto a failed nation-state? And what about the alien rights fiasco on Jupiter? There’s going to be some backlash if they take the interplanetary torch to Jupiter.
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This is the first post in a long time that made me laugh to tears !
Letkeman: I think you should open your heart and allow Matt a humourous post here and there…
Caution: There is an important amount of sarcasm in the part of the previous sentence that says “you should open your heart and allow Matt”…because it’s HIS BLOG!
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Just wait until Vancouver. I heard they’re exploring the possibilities of black holes.
You know that the best thing to come out this whole olympic torch concept is one helluva a Bangles song…. who evidently are also on tour this year and also won’t be visiting St. John’s, NL. woohoo just 3 weeks until bob dylan and leonard cohen for 5 straight nights in MAY (well 2 and 3 but all in a row).
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it’s about $$$. I’ll give’em $100 if I can light a stogie with the thing as it passes through a topless bar carried by pole dancers
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What I don’t get is this, during travels between continents- presumably air travel- the torch would have to be extinguished I imagine? I mean, I know I’m not in a blue jump suit jogging along and beating up protesters but I’m almost certain that BA when faced with a lit torch at check in for my carry-on, would tell me to get fucked.
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Quoting Letkeman:
What does this have to do with politics? I’m talking about a fucking torch. And using ‘unity’ and ’supremacy’ in the same example isn’t advisable.
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Hitler invented the tradition.
“… the idea of lighting the torch at the ancient Olympian site in Greece and then running it through different countries has much darker origins.
It was invented in its modern form by the organisers of the 1936 Olympics in Berlin.”
Cf.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/europe/7330949.stm
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Guess you should have used that humor tag, huh?
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I love your posts like this..
Made my day!!!
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I agree, the torch doesn’t have to be taken up Mount Everest and they should take it through Afghanistan because it is a apart of the world. The running of the torch through many countries signifies a time when the world in at “one” with each other. All the world gathers to compete. Having said that, these Olympics have issues with China and Tibet. So all in all the world in not “one.”
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That was hilarious, I love the 2012 diagram as well.
You know if they REALLY want to be true about it, they could have people actually carry the torch the entire way. So when they are traveling from Greece to China, they should have people running across the land. If they are traveling to/from Australia, since swimming with a torch really is not advisable and it is supposed to be via running, they could have a boat with a track and people could run around the track or run on a treadmill while the boat moves along.
That would keep the spirit up!
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The Starship Enterprise is in the running for the 2012 games.
Space: The final frontier
To boldly go where no torch has gone before.
Kirk, Spock, Scotty, come out of retirement, the world is depending on you in 2012.
Lighten up Letkeman or I’ll have Scotty beam you up!
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http://www.gwynnedyer.com/articles/Gwynne Dyer article_ Olympic Torch.txt
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Oh, if only you could do a John Madden impersonation like Frank Caliendo, then you could do the Olympic Torch run with a picture of the globe and an on-screen pen, that would be freaking hilarious!
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Quoting satchboogieca:
That would be!
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Quoting Matthew Good:
There are two reasons I brought up politics in my comment. 1. The torch run has been bombared by protestors, and has become politically charged to the breaking point. 2. This blog is generally a running commentary on canadian and world politics. I therefor assumed, however unjrightfully, a connection. I realize that likely your intentions were merely humourous commentary As for my choize of the word ’supremacy’ I used it merely to describe the competitive aspect of the Olypmic Games. I believe that the Games, however commercially corrupt they have become, represent the ability for humanity to set asside differences of race, culture and conflict. And, just as the Olympics break the borders of culture and country, so too should the torch run. Forgive my lack of clarity, working 12 hours from 6-6 can really corrupt ones mental faculties.
As an aside, I am glad that my post inspired a small amount of controversy, and am pleased that you decided to respond to it. I also realize that perhaps I took it a little too literally, and in that case, all I can say is: my bad.
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Poor Pluto.
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Ur-anus!
1st!
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Quoting zitadawn:
hahaha
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Is it wrong that I pity a planet?
Quoting Patrick Pitt:
Classic, so many chuckles, so little time.
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I bet the torch could find Osama Bin Laden when it hits the Afghan/Pakistani border region. I mean throughout history what have people usually used to light there way inside caves?
(answer: a torch!)
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The Everest bit might be taking it a bit too far, but I am definitely in favour of running the torch all around the world to build excitement excitement in those countries taking place.
That article about the Nazi origins of the torch relay seemed a little biased to me. No doubt there was a political agenda, it just seems a bit of a stretch that the relay symbolized Aryan supremacy, or caused the Anschluss.
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Sorry, the countries “taking part.”
My brain was somewhere else.
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Quoting zitadawn:
random, non sensical thought:
Pluto Plutocracy
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Patrick: LOL a torch in uranus….hmmmmm…maybe for the g&L pride olympics?
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no offense just a lame joke..its late
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Pretty angry there, sir. Seems your comment on this would have been different a few years ago..
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that made me spit out my apple juice….bahahahaha I love the direct route drawing
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Quoting zitadawn:
There is absolutely nothing wrong with pitying poor Pluto. You weren’t the only one on the planet who was dissapointed at the news it was demoted. :p
You know, when you come to think about it, it would be no surprise if as soon as they figure out a way to get an open flame up there safely in a shuttle, that torch will be up to the Space Station.
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The Olympics are nothing more than an oversized entertainment propaganda. People say it’s about unity and bringing together countries. But, really, at the end of the games, we total up all of the medals and see what countries won the most Gold, Silver and Bronze. At that point, the country with the most medals gets to unzip their pants, whip out their dick and say it’s bigger than everyone else’s. Pride and unity? Bullsh*t.
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After a fortnight of games, the torch will be passed to you Canada. What amazing trip will your torch take. Will it be protested or used as a politcal pawn and be taken to the north pole or visit troops stationed around the world. How much money will be raised for charity by passing it along person to person across this earth. Yes, Tom Waits created the travel plans for the torch, we will find out what the acronym for the tour stands for at a later date.
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Pluto got Mickey’s dog…It’ll be fine.
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And somehow I had a dream about this last night.
To make up for the dishonor Pluto the Planet suffered at the hands of “evil NASA”, Hollywood held a telethon/ TV benefit for Pluto for no other cause other than to make it feel special.
Kanye West was there and while standing next to a surprised and confused Mike Myers, he stated…
“George Bush hates Pluto.”
And then I woke up.
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I am a fan of your music but your opinion on this topic is fucked. I grew up on the northern beaches of Sydney, Australia which is sporting mad and luckily enough through work and I running with the torch in Lijiang China. Lijiang is situated right on the borders of Tibet, Camobia and Loas and is a place in the world you would otherwise never get to see unless involved in an experience like this.
I am proud to say I am representing Australia running with the torch and I have met world champion Olympic athletes that feel exactly the same way. They have said it was one of the greatest experiences of their lives running in Canberra, Australia.
You are entitled to your opinion and I would love to see you come to Australia for a concert but on this topic I think you are just plain wrong.
I am going to enjoy every second of the 250 metres I am running with the torch.
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What would be nice is if they could run the torch over to the sun and light it directly from there.
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This post seriously cracked me up - especially the last picture.
Yeah, I’ve never understood the point of parading the torch all around the globe either. Maybe it means something to some people, but I just don’t get it.
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Who wouldn’t pay $10 to light a fart off it?
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Planet Henley: Relax. Great, its a good oppurtunity for you to run with the torch. It represents all of your hard work and dedication. Congrats.
But fucking relax about a relaxed post. I could point out that that fucking torch is chewing up gas like there is no tomorrow, what with the flying and driving here and there. Now up the side of Everest. And then there is the fact that a great many people see the Olpympics as a joke. So, personally, all i can say is big fucking deal if people critisize the torch. They are not critisizing you, so grow up.
Actually, a girl i know is at Everest right now, at base camp. There are apparantly 200 teams there, some of whom have been turned away because the Chinese government never told them the torch was coming.
You know what the saddest thing is?
She has internet access, somehow, at base camp.
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Quoting zitadawn:
That was a good Thursday morning laugh! How about a SNL Wayne and Garth telethon to save Pluto. That would be as one of their famous quotes, “EXCELLENT”
Forget Kayne West because he is “NOT WORTHY” Same with Bush!!!!
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Quoting Planet Henley:
Go nuts. And for every 250 metres wonder how much money it cost to get it there - the millions of dollars to take it around the world, and remember that with every step a kid in some third world shit hole could have been vaccinated against something as common as the measles and not died.
This entry was satire. If you can’t see the difference, that’s not my problem.
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Quoting Matthew Good:
Agree Matt.
Wouldn’t it be wonderful if those millions could of gone for vaccinations. I’m not spending any money this christmas. I’m going to put it towards the rest of the money I must raise for airfare to fulfill a life long dream of humanitarian aid. I can raise money running. Planet Henley, pass the torch my way, I’ll put it to better use!!
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Oh of all the entires to be linked by The Guardian. Hey, at least it got the top spot.
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That’s pretty cool that someone on their editorial staff reads your blog regularly.
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Quoting Matthew Good:
As I recall, you were recognized before by this publication.. Is this the second time, or am I wrong?
You have a great talent for writing. I’m jealous.
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Wonder if the silverbacks in the olympic committee know about the nazi-origin of the olympic torch relay… I agree, it’s totally useless. It’s merchandising and that’s about it.
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Think about the joy this torch brings to the children of the world. I have seen this experience up close and people lining up for hours taking photos with the torch. A former Olympic marathon runner highlighted to the runners at Canberra that the day is all about the kids.
I do work for Oxfam through the 100km challenge which raises millions of dollars every year in Australia. My boss also has a charity called Caring for Cambodia where we build schools and send clothes for them to wear due to the ridiculous laws in that country regarding what kids have to where to attend school. I know how many kids are less fortunate than me in the world and I have seen it first hand.
You are obviously not an athlete or sporting in anyway so this whole experience has simply gone over your head. Let it go and let the people participating enjoy it for what it is.
A little bit of wit for you champ - maybe you can light your cigarette off it when I bring it to Vancouver or use it as a lamp when you are awake at 3am.
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I have to agree. I feel sorry for anyone who cannot see past the commercialization of the Olympics to its true intent. The Olympics provide friendly competition for athletes from nearly every country around the globe, and brings them together in a way that would not otherwise be possible. Sport itself is not about commercialization, but self-discipline, self-improvement, and bringing together a variety of people on one common ground.
I agree that this post is satire, and I find it hilarious. However, I do take exception to all of the people who come on here to say that the Olympics are bullshit, and that the running of the torch is merely Nazi propaganda when it has come to symbolize so much more.
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“May joy and good fellowship reign, and in this manner, may the Olympic Torch pursue its way through ages, increasing friendly understanding among nations, for the good of a humanity always more enthusiastic, more courageous and more pure.”
Pierre de Coubertin - Founder of the IOC
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I was reading an article in the most recent National Geographic that included a picture of the torch route, both the world-wide route and the China route. Matt the only thing I could think of was your solar system map of the route for the 2012 Olympics and I laughed so hard and loud that everybody in the seating area where I was eating my lunch looked at me like I was nuts. Totally made my day!
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That last picture is hilarious.
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Quoting Planet Henley:
Gotten a little bit worked up over a torch?
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Life’s too short to get worked up over a torch. I was just matching wits with Mr Good, as he seems a pretty opionated fellow..
Thanks for your concern…
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Quoting KET:
Brilliant comment.
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I second the idea of Pehdtsckjmba.
Pure genious.
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Planet Henley “matching wits with Mr. Good”?
All of that wit and not even able to recognize satire for what it is. Not to be taken completely seriously.
I’m almost certain that Henley has already attempted to enlist his/her services for the Mercury/Venus leg of the 2012 torch relay. Good luck with that.
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Quoting Planet Henley:
Noone wants to doubt that australian kids are having fun watching the olympic flame and having a picknick nearby the racetrack.
But not everything that’s fun to us makes sense. The whole torch - blow is for people that potentially attend the olympics and leave loads of money there. It’s not for poor people. Oh and of course no protesting please by people who feel oppressed or unhappy in either way, that would just ruin the whole party…
I don’t see the point in pushing an event that is about to degenrate into a propaganda-show promoting nothing but the chinese regime.Everyone should keep that in mind.
I imagine the propaganda-rallys of the nazis to have held some sort of “fun” as well for the attending people in those dark days. “Fun” is something that gets people behind a person or matter without them even noticing what’s really going on.
The perpetual striving of humans for entertainment might turn out the acutal catastrophy of our times.
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I wonder if the children working in the Chinese sweatshops will be allowed to take the day off to go and have fun at the torch relay. That’s be really nice.
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Planet Henley: You make some good points - unfortunately you can’t seem to voice your opinion without being condescending and confrontational. Here…I’ll show you what I mean:
“I am a fan of your music but your opinion on this topic is fucked”
“You are obviously not an athlete or sporting in anyway so this whole experience has simply gone over your head”
I personally don’t agree with your perspective on the Olympics and the torch. That said, perhaps one thing that you should have learned as “an athlete” was to respect your competitors. I don’t think that you’d walk out on a soccer pitch and tell the other team they were fucked, or say the same thing to a competitor in a running race. Don’t assume that becuase somone doesn’t share your opinion on the subject that it’s because they are not athletic enough to have seen the light. ” A little bit of wit”? Can’t say that we agree on the definition of “wit” either.
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Very well executed Mr. Good… I give you a 10… that was golden for sure, loved the diagrams :)
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Quoting Brian Smart:
I haven’t seen Matt stating any kind of “opinion” at all in the article. All he’s done is asking questions and being all the way sarcastic. It’s funny to see how quick people are with damnation when it comes to others obviously not sharing their position ;)
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Quoting Dorothy:
I think what I wrote above may have been interpreted as being a sarcastic comment. It wasn’t. I meant it at face value. I wish I had written it this way:
That was a brilliant comment, KET! :)
Dorothy
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Tuul:
“It’s funny to see how quick people are with damnation when it comes to others obviously not sharing their position ;)”
I assume since you quoted me that that comment was directed at me.
Perhaps I did not make my point clear enough. I don’t mind opposing opinions - in fact I welcome them and enjoy the debate. It’s far better to have this than a bunch of lemmings all running toward the same cliff.
What I took exception to was the manner in which Planet made their point. My point was simply that, if you have a valid point you can make your point without being rude and confrontational, otherwise the value of your opinion just gets overshadowed by the fact that people think you are an obstinate asshole and don’t pay attention to what it is you have to say.
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Quoting Brian Smart:
snip
Nope, that cited phrase was related to planet henley as it is him who sees opinions where there actually aren’t any ;o)
quote: Perhaps I did not make my point clear enough. I don’t mind opposing opinions - in fact I welcome them and enjoy the debate. It’s far better to have this than a bunch of lemmings all running toward the same cliff.
Fine!
quote: What I took exception to was the manner in which Planet made their point.
That’s why I quoted you to, just to pick up the issue.
quote: My point was simply that, if you have a valid point you can make your point without being rude and confrontational,
All fine - that is also what I meant to say. I just wanted to call attention to the fact that there wasn’t actually a clearly expressed opinion which someone (planet henley) could oppose to.
Hope I put that right ;)
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“And for every 250 metres wonder how much money it cost to get it there - the millions of dollars to take it around the world, and remember that with every step a kid in some third world shit hole could have been vaccinated against something as common as the measles and not died.”– M.G.
… what about all the money that goes towards the NHL Playoffs??? where do we draw the line? we should all step back and take the time to think about that kid in a shit hole third world country whenever money is being spent on something that is for our entertainment purposes. That way we will always be grateful and humble.
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Whether one is being confrontational is a matter of opinion and it is easy to read into any comment posted on the internet what you want to. With 70% of communication being non-verbal, we instantly interpret what the other 70% should be in written text and form an opinion.
What does this have to do with politics? I’m talking about a fucking torch. And using ‘unity’ and ’supremacy’ in the same example isn’t advisable. MG
And yes everybody does have an opinion as seen above!!!
Quite simply, I like what the torch run stands for (although I have never been a huge fan of the Olympics) and what it does for the communities it visit’s.
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Quoting RC:
Perhaps we should draw it in terms of rationality. If we spend Millions of Dollars, Euros, whatsoever for a mammoth-event like the olympics do we have to add the same amount just to promote it and for the media to have something to say? I’m not sure what it costs to do a jingle on tv or print some flyers to promote playoffs…
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Planet:
“I am a fan of your music but your opinion on this topic is fucked”
I’d be interested to know what the 70% non-verbal part of that communication is that would change the context of that statement.
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Okay people, who’s gonna step up and run it to the sun? We can’t leave out the sun.
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Hahahaha! fist off i think your point of view on the torch is fucking hilarious. second i couldn’t agree with you more, you said what i’ve been thinking since i was a kid. they just like to waist everyones fucking time buy running this thing around blocking off streets etc etc pissing people off on their way to work. but anyway, funny. i enjoyed that