MG.org Death Match: Lollipop Soldiers Vs The Taliban And JTF2

Canada’s urban homie squads or the Taliban…

When you’re a hard ass urban gangster, fear isn’t an issue. Unless, of course, you’re faced with hardened fanatics actually returning fire rather than peeing their pants when you produce whatever handgun you’ve illegally acquired because your penis is only 2 inches fully erect.

Let’s cut the shit – the truth is that you wear bad clothes, have access to 24 hour drive through, listen to horrible music in your Escalade at a volume that ensures that everyone within a two-mile radius can hear it, and peddle drugs simply so that you can flash a wad and make yourself look like you’re anything but the unintelligent, drug dealing, lowlife that you actually are. Because that’s what you do, homie-clause – you deal drugs.

You’re a hard ass.

The Taliban, on the other hand, grow and sell drugs while living in the wilderness dodging air strikes, have successfully held off the militaries of major world powers for years, and do it all without enjoying the crooning of Fiddy Cent. Unlike you, who strut around like you’re invincible, the Taliban are hardened fighters that can draw on a considerable history of actually being hard asses. Hell, these are cats that used to have women run over by tanks in football stadiums. What have you done lately, tough guy?

The truth of the matter is that your pathetic ass should be marched down to the nearest CF recruiting station and subsequently shipped off to Afghanistan so that you can come face to face with real hard asses. You can opine on your life of crime back in the land of milk and honey with your fellow soldiers while you’re taking incoming mortar, small arms, and RPG fire whilst not trying to piss yourself. It’s a far cry from partying, peddling coke, and playing Guitar Hero until five in the morning.

You are, without a doubt – hard. Make no mistake about it. Let’s face it; anyone that consciously chooses a life of crime must be a Mensa member, there’s just no two ways about it. Two, by the way, is the equivalent of one and one – so imagine you’re selling to two different customers and add that together.

The police, or the five-0 as you so lovingly refer to them, are laughable in your eyes. That’s why, in my humble opinion, JTF2 should be appointed the task of dealing with you.

Forget due process, The Charter, and all of that other horseshit. The boys in Joint Task Force Two should just be given a mandate to hunt your ass down and dispose of you. Personally, it would make fantastic reality television. Unlike you, they have access to a wide variety of wonderful toys and are actually trained in their use. Just imagine Canada’s version of the SAS painting the back of your head all over the entrance to your crib when you step out your front door– and all without a sound made.