Breathe In, Hold It
CT Scans. The thing in the white doughnut spins, you keep your eyes closed just in case that red laser is part of some mind reading device.
Sunday is a weird day to go to the hospital. It’s a ghost town. Empty waiting rooms, empty hallways. You sit there and flip through magazines that you’re completely uninterested in. You watch the television bolted to the wall that’s playing some horrible teen feel-good movie. The second hand starts slipping backwards.
Should I have gotten more time at the parking lot? Do they tow or do they ticket? Can’t remember.
They call your name, you go into the doughnut room, you lay down. You follow the instructions precisely to make sure that the results are as accurate as they can be. They repeat the procedure.
You breathe in and hold it. You breathe out and hold it. You cough and choke a little. The electronic sliding of the doughnut bed becomes soothing. You feel like falling asleep to the pleasant whirring sound the doughnut makes when it’s taking your picture.
Bought too much time in the end. Drive away.
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September 14th, 2008 at 7:01 pm
Would it be okay to ask if your tests are routine and if everything is okay?
September 14th, 2008 at 7:04 pm
hope youre feelin ok?
September 14th, 2008 at 7:06 pm
Routine stuff to do with Sarcoid that I haven’t kept up on is all.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:07 pm
life is a long, strange road….
September 14th, 2008 at 7:13 pm
“Sunday is a weird day to go to the hospital. It’s a ghost town. Empty waiting rooms, empty hallways”
Full emergency waiting rooms.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:14 pm
Sorry was feeling bitchy there for a minute. Still have a bad taste in my mouth from a few weeks back.
Hope you’re doing well.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:27 pm
Did they inject you with that gross tasting dye? I had to get that last time I had a CT.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:28 pm
I hope everything is OK with you and your health. Entries like this one make me worry about your smoking, which is probably weird since I don’t know you personally but I never said I wasn’t strange.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:33 pm
[quote comment="65111"]I hope everything is OK with you and your health. Entries like this one make me worry about your smoking, which is probably weird since I don’t know you personally but I never said I wasn’t strange.[/quote]
I worry anytime he brings up health in any capasity, physical or mental, but that’s just me and I’m a worry when worry isn’t needed.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:37 pm
Better than being squished into an MRI tube at least. ;-) Those aren’t fun at all….
September 14th, 2008 at 7:39 pm
Nope, it isn’t. Had that done too.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:40 pm
God. I hate hospitals/doctor’s offices.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:44 pm
I have never been inside a doughnut, but I ate one this morning.
:-)
Hope it’s all okay.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:45 pm
Me too, that is why I haven’t gone to the doctor in 5 years.
September 14th, 2008 at 7:59 pm
My mother has always worked in hospitals so for me they hold this feeling of familiarity and comfort of all things. Even when I was in there for one thing or another despite what I was going through they still reminded me of her, to this day they still do. So much goes on in those buildings, sickness and death but also life.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:02 pm
i know you said its all routine but i really do wish you the best of health and everything. really glad things worked out with the walk a thon too!
September 14th, 2008 at 8:03 pm
May the force be with you, old friend.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:09 pm
I know you didn’t write this entry for sympathy, but hey, that’s just the people who have chosen to hang out with you online–compassionate, caring, anxious. Really hope everything is okay.
On a different note, spent the weekend reading a great book, highly recommend it. “My Stroke of Insight” by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a Harvard Neuroanatomist who was doing research into schizophrenia when she had a stroke at age 37. Because of her training she was able to basically observe and understand what was happening to her as her left hemisphere shut down. Really fascinating. She has since recovered, but has some really powerful insights into consciousness, the whole sense of “I” vs. “we”..it’s hard to explain but it has to do with the left hemisphere controlling the sensation of physical boundaries, time and space, and without those things she felt at one with the universe. Anyway, read it!
September 14th, 2008 at 8:10 pm
Never had one, but I think everyone probably should at some point…would’ve probably saved my Mom.
I find it utterly ridiculous that you have to pay at hospital parking lots…especially in the emergency ward. I had to rush my son to ER at 3 am once during his first panic attack and the last thing on my mind as I hurried out the door with him crying “Mom, I can’t breathe, I think I’m dying” was grabbing my purse. I’ve spent a lot of time over the past 5 years in hospitals, which has resulted in far too much money spent on parking there. It pisses me off to no end that people have to worry about parking when their loved ones are dying.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:17 pm
[quote comment="65121"]I know you didn’t write this entry for sympathy, but hey, that’s just the people who have chosen to hang out with you online–compassionate, caring, anxious. Really hope everything is okay.
On a different note, spent the weekend reading a great book, highly recommend it. “My Stroke of Insight” by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a Harvard Neuroanatomist who was doing research into schizophrenia when she had a stroke at age 37. Because of her training she was able to basically observe and understand what was happening to her as her left hemisphere shut down. Really fascinating.
She has since recovered, but has some really powerful insights into consciousness, the whole sense of “I” vs. “we”..it’s hard to explain but it has to do with the left hemisphere controlling the sensation of physical boundaries, time and space, and without those things she felt at one with the universe. Anyway, read it![/quote]
Well I’m sure gonna read it!
(My Mom had a stroke at 49 that paralyzed her left side and she never did recover from it…she got progressively worse. Sounds like an interesting read, as I worry about following in her footsteps and suffer from hypertension).
September 14th, 2008 at 8:29 pm
Dear Sir,
Was waiting with baited breath to hear about the “Paws for Cause” walk - and actually thought of you in the gym (total yummy guy haven on Sunday afternoons…) hoping you had a great walk - and then would have a restful sleep. And so you went to the hopital instead, or as well as? Perhaps I have the dates wrong.
Sleeping midstream procedures is healthful - do it.
Cold whatever - you live in concrete.
Remember you are blessed Sir. Sleep well.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:39 pm
[quote comment="65110"]Did they inject you with that gross tasting dye? I had to get that last time I had a CT.[/quote]
The metallic-tasting stuff that somehow enables you to feel every blood vessel in your body as it fills up with warmth? Not a fan.
September 14th, 2008 at 8:45 pm
Sunday is a weird day to go to the hospital. It’s a ghost town. Empty waiting rooms, empty hallways. You sit there and flip through magazines that you’re completely uninterested in. You watch the television bolted to the wall that’s playing some horrible teen feel-good movie. The second hand starts slipping backwards.
I read the above and thought hmmmmmm could’ve been lyrics from Hospital Music. Must be a song in there somewhere!
Hope all is well with you
September 14th, 2008 at 9:39 pm
This post is sort of odd for me! I was in a car accident this afternoon (jerk off ran a stop sign) and I was in the waiting room in the ER for 5 hours. To top it all off, the “teen feel good movie” that was playing on the TV had something to do with Hillary Duff. UGH. Then I felt incredibly disgusted with myself for being all pissy about it all when a little girl came in with a dog bite to her leg…now I’m injured and feeling guilty.
Sorry to hear about all your tests. Those do not sound like any fun at all. That’s a lame comment (and obvious too) but the best I can think of tonight. Hope everything is a-okay!
September 14th, 2008 at 9:59 pm
[quote comment="65121"]I know you didn’t write this entry for sympathy, but hey, that’s just the people who have chosen to hang out with you online–compassionate, caring, anxious. Really hope everything is okay.
On a different note, spent the weekend reading a great book, highly recommend it. “My Stroke of Insight” by Dr. Jill Bolte Taylor. She is a Harvard Neuroanatomist who was doing research into schizophrenia when she had a stroke at age 37. Because of her training she was able to basically observe and understand what was happening to her as her left hemisphere shut down. Really fascinating.
She has since recovered, but has some really powerful insights into consciousness, the whole sense of “I” vs. “we”..it’s hard to explain but it has to do with the left hemisphere controlling the sensation of physical boundaries, time and space, and without those things she felt at one with the universe. Anyway, read it![/quote]
I think I remember reading an article about this Dr. Taylor, or saw an interview. I watched ABC medical mysteries the other night, which was about post stroke patients who suddenly became artistically driven to create. One of them was even a neurologist. Very facinating also.
http://www.abcnews.go.com/ Put in search box, victims of brain trauma driven to create.
Went to see the new DeNiro/Pacino flick, Righteous Kill. Excellent. Wouldn’t expect anything less from these two.
September 14th, 2008 at 10:00 pm
I went to the hospital for a CT Scan because I have a tremor in my hands and wanted to make sure that it wasn’t anything too serious, but just a simple tremor. After a few days my doctor calls me to make an appointment as they received the results back. Here I was expecting the worst. They eventually told me that it was just a simple tremor, but that I have a sinus infection and lots of scarring from them. No wonder I always got sick with a cold that usually stuck around forever. I now treat my sinus infections, but my hands still shake. Hospitals are never fun. Hope you are ok. I’ll look up what Sarcoid is, not too familliar with that.
Sorry you had to miss the SPCA walk today. It was a perfect day, the sun was out, crazy amount of dogs out and about. It was awesome!!!! I’m glad that Keira reached her goal of $7500 and alittle more. I knew she could do it. :)
September 14th, 2008 at 11:07 pm
[quote comment="65131"]
I think I remember reading an article about this Dr. Taylor, or saw an interview. I watched ABC medical mysteries the other night, which was about post stroke patients who suddenly became artistically driven to create. One of them was even a neurologist. Very facinating also.
http://www.abcnews.go.com/
Put in search box, victims of brain trauma driven to create.[/quote]
Thanks for that…I went to the site and read/watched the interview and story. Amazing, our little brains. There was also an interview with Dr. Bolte Taylor on the site, here is the link:
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/story?id=5226183&page=1
They also have a link on there to the speech she gave at TED, which is great. Man, I love brains, they are so sexy!
September 14th, 2008 at 11:28 pm
Last (and only) time I had a CT scan, turned out I had an anaphylactic allergy to that ‘gross tasting dye’- a very frightening experience.
I hear that steam rooms are good for all things pulmonary.
September 14th, 2008 at 11:30 pm
I really enjoyed the MRI I had earlier this year. Is that weird? I’m pretty petite so I didn’t find it claustrophobic at all. It was kind of like my own private electroaccoustic show…while doing corpse pose in yoga and not moving.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:55 am
My approach to medical problems is just to ignore it and hope it goes away.
September 15th, 2008 at 12:57 am
I loved working the nights or weekends at the hospital.
It is absolutely a ghost town, which really gets you wondering if there’s anything supernatural lurking in the polished corridors. But it is eerie; the last thing we ever expect as patients is to face empty waiting rooms - says something about us when we expect that there will always be a disaster that needs attending to…
I learnt something interesting today, not entirely off topic: of all the types of doctors and health professionals, dentists have the highest suicide rates. It’s because they are so universally disliked by their clients, and they inflect pain upon the people they have sworn to help.
Something to keep in mind when people say they “hate going to the hospital”.
September 15th, 2008 at 1:16 am
i wish i could say something else regarding this comment because i know all to well firsthand how exposing/uncertain/uncomfortable a visit to hospital is both for myself and to others but i don’t have the strength to withstand getting bashed for my low opinion of the medical profession..it may not work for us but it works for so many others…so i wish you the best and i hope you are doing okay now :)
September 15th, 2008 at 3:01 am
I think the worst feeling I ever get when going into a hospital or any type of doctors office is when I know what is going to happen. It is nice to know sometimes, but sometimes knowing makes you relive whatever past experiences you have had there. Such as them giving you way more meds than you probably should have. Changing your current ones into others that work more as a deterrent, and make you go up and down in a state of mind that makes you feel like you are crazier than even they make you out to be.
Of course when they give you special permission to have your iPod and computer brought in, and then you find out there password for their wifi network(The hosipital being ran by Catholics) and mess around there. Yeah, that part can be interesting, I guess, but it only blinds you until they they bring in your meds for the 50th time in one day, and then tell you that you have an MRI the next morning. In which during the dye that the inject into you happens to not work so well when your vein decides to pop once on one arm and once on another. They get you on the third try but you feel like your arms are on fire.
Then you find out that what has been causing some headaches was a type of cyst that is not isn’t growing but is just there. Yet you still worry about it and then you go to get another MRI six months later. You anticipate the pain and you get tense when they inject you again, luckily the pain was more mental, if you can call it lucky, and nothing pops yet you don’t realy forget about it.
September 15th, 2008 at 3:57 am
I remember that I had to go through such a procedure once in my life, when I was 18. I had just suffered my first panic attacks and doctors wanted to count a cerebral tumor out as being responsible for my problems. I was scared like hell then.
September 15th, 2008 at 6:09 am
Mmmmmm… doughnuts..
Hope all is a-ok.
September 15th, 2008 at 7:57 am
I had to do this once a month following a removal of a tumour I had… then during Chemo once every 2 months… 6 years later I a mnow at 1 time a year yippee!
The guy that did the test for me would give me the remote to bolted TV which was cool and made all around me envious!
sam
September 15th, 2008 at 8:08 am
[quote comment="65141"]I loved working the nights or weekends at the hospital.
It is absolutely a ghost town, which really gets you wondering if there’s anything supernatural lurking in the polished corridors. But it is eerie; the last thing we ever expect as patients is to face empty waiting rooms - says something about us when we expect that there will always be a disaster that needs attending to…
I learnt something interesting today, not entirely off topic: of all the types of doctors and health professionals, dentists have the highest suicide rates. It’s because they are so universally disliked by their clients, and they inflect pain upon the people they have sworn to help.
Something to keep in mind when people say they “hate going to the hospital”.[/quote]
That’s too bad, I like going to the dentist. For now.
The hate comes from waiting 11 hours in the ER from chest pains and also waiting to hear what’s wrong with you at the doctors.
September 15th, 2008 at 9:36 am
Health is a precious gift. If you have it, you don’t think about it; if you don’t, it’s all you can do but not worry about it. “My nerves will be the death of me….” [City and Colour]
I too am not a fan of hospitals and the whole dysfunctional system and so I choose to be very conscious of the preventative side of living life healthfully. I do credit doctors, nurses and the whole team for their well intentioned efforts - most of them anyway - but truthfully, it’s an up hill battle with the pharmasecutical companies paving the hill; and the hills are getting bigger and bigger $$$.
“The second hand starts slipping back.” My 21/2 year old had a rough first year [vaccinations? or Losec for reflux prescribed to a 2 month old] and we spent many, many a nights in ER and so I can so appreciate your description of waiting for help while help surrounds you.
I wish you well and encourage you to make “doable” changes to your lifestyle to preserve and better your health. No one cares more about your health than you so to you my friend, I wish you Great Health!
September 15th, 2008 at 9:59 am
Ahh Jenn! You quoted City and Colour! This makes you my favourite person on the site today!
Dallas Green is my favourite, he’s amazing. Hehe.
September 15th, 2008 at 8:55 pm
how do you have a CT without Lorazepam? or maybe you did?
September 17th, 2008 at 5:51 pm
CTs beat MRIs hands down. I’m glad you went (brave boy) and I sincerely hope your results are even better than you had hoped.