Knocked Up
It’s a strange thing; getting off stage at 1:30 in the morning 3,000 miles away and then finding yourself at home the next afternoon as if it were all just a dream. You’re back between the same four walls looking at the same bookshelves and cabinets as if you never left. I’ll do it again, of course, and it will feel no less strange to me, even though I’ve been doing it almost my entire adult life.
Time’s not time for me. It just bends.
So a cup of tea, a cigarette, and news that Sarah Palin’s 17-year-old daughter is pregnant.
Bristol Palin got a little action - big deal. Maybe the condom broke, maybe she was on birth control and it failed, what does it matter? It’s not like there aren’t 17-year-old’s out there right now having sex in all sorts of internet porn inspired positions and loving every single second of it. The point is, her mother has adamantly claimed that she’ll be marrying the kid that knocked her up – not keeping the baby never being an option given Palin’s religious beliefs and the political ramifications involved.
In truth, you have to wonder if Bristol Palin is going to spend the rest of her life paying for her mother’s political aspirations. Were I to put money on it, I’d bet she’s divorced by the time she’s 26. The reality is that at 17 you’re not ready for a commitment of that magnitude, no matter who says what to the contrary. We don’t live in that world anymore – unless you happen to be the member of some religious cult living on a compound in the mountains. Sure, teen pregnancy isn’t entirely uncommon, but that said, I don’t believe that a single mistake should not only rob a young person of their future, but place them in a situation for which they are manifestly unprepared.
The United States has one of the highest rates of teen pregnancy in the developed world. According to the CDC, one third of women in the United States get pregnant before the age of 20, 80% of which are unintended. Not surprisingly, the federal government funds programmes that promote abstinence until marriage, which is entirely ridiculous. Teens are going to have sex, and not educating them on how best to protect against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases is simply ridiculous. Ironically, as Governor of Alaska, Palin herself is opposed to funding sexual education programmes in schools, choosing instead to support abstinence programmes.
So much for that plan of attack.
In a questionnaire distributed among gubernatorial candidates in 2006 Palin wrote…
“The explicit sex-ed programmes will not find my support.”
Explicit? As in how to put on a condom? Because if they’re teaching kids how to throw key parties in school these days then fuck do I wish I was teenager again.
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September 2nd, 2008 at 7:52 am
Well said. It’s sad that Bristol, the father, and the baby, will ultimately end up paying the price for Palin’s political motivations.
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:59 am
I was raised Catholic. I have never been part of a parish in my adult life, but married in a Catholic church to appease the families.
In the hours before my wedding, the priest told me that my wedding was “blasphemy.”
But hey, I’m sure Jesus loves this little scenario.
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:01 am
I feel sorry for both the boy, the girl and the baby to be as their lives will be ruined for her mothers political agenda. No body’s ready to be married at that age, they will both grow up and change as people. Unfortunately I predict divorce by age 24.
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:03 am
Educating American children is one of the lost arguments in this election and giving our children life skills to become better thinkers and decision makers is the only solution towards making our modern western society work. If America wants to really condemn their future path to more leadership from the conservative right, they will fail the rest of the world. Confrontation from a point of superiority will be the norm. Instead of living in the reality of what teenagers from 16 to 20 are doing to discover their sexuality, a preaching voice of purity will continue to dominate the leadership’s focus. Bristol Palin is lucky to have a family structure that will support her as she follows the difficult life path see has chosen. (Did she have a choice?). Most in this situation are not so lucky.
September 2nd, 2008 at 8:19 am
It certainly doesn’t matter to me at all about her daughter’s situation…but you have to wonder whether or not McCain is kicking himself already about this risky pick, being the hard-nosed conservative that he is claiming to be.*
* I say “claiming” because I don’t believe that these right wingers actually believe in half of what they say they do. They just can’t. Because if they do, humanity is doomed.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:00 am
I think it is great to watch Obama release a statement right away stating that the families are “off limits”, that this shouldn’t even be news, he even went as far as to say that his mother gave birth to him in her teens, he might be trying to cover up some hypocrisy, but I think he is just being honest. This is just common decency, but it is impressive to see him come out and say that, you know if it was the other way around the republicans would have half a dozen attack adds out already.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:01 am
Yah, I was just going to post that quote:
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:18 am
Thanks Duane, much more effective with the whole quote! What makes this even more impressive is it does have relevance to her policies, as Matt pointed out she is against supporting sex ed programmes. They could easily tie those two together, nice to see they aren’t.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:28 am
“The explicit sex-ed programmes will not find my support.”
(Ostrich takes head and places in sand)
Teenage pregnancies actually dropped in my neck of the woods (Yukon Territory) between the early 1990’s and the late 1990’s. Researchers are crediting a multi-dimensional approach to this success; greater provision of education about pregnancy and contraception through public forums, schools, First Nations groups, and other public agencies, subsidized birth control, etc..
The “abstinence” approach, reminds me of Marx. Not Karl, but Groucho:
“Hey doctor it hurts when I bend my arm like this”
‘Well..then don’t bend your arm like that”
If Pallin and other proponents of abstinence, whether related to teen sexual activity, use of alcohol, etc., believe that ordering young people to “just don’t do it and you’ll be fine” will somehow override their natural curiosity and their surging hormones, then they are fooling themselves.
Most of the women that I know who experienced teen pregnancies and who had the children have struggled in the time since; what I see for the most part is someone who’s educational opportunities were cut short and as a result they have found it hard to land a good job and support themselves. The teenage husbands/fathers rarely stick around.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:32 am
Dear Mr. Good,
Thank you for a fab show on Sunday night at the Kee.
For the Palin family - it’s willfull ignorance from start to finish, and will most assuredly lead to some hardship.
Not certain if I’m using the quotation functionality correctly but to quote g.jenkins because it matters….
“Did she have a choice?”
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:35 am
Let’s see in how far this is going to work for Obama. Maybe Bristol’s Baby will be saving the country by opening the eyes of people regarding the actual nature of the views of the conservative candidate and his entourage. God, this 17 year old girl’s just looking like a kid herself!
And when I hear Sarah Palin rambling about how “blessed she feels about God haven chosen her to raise a kid with down’s syndrome”, I have a strong desire to run for the toilet.
September 2nd, 2008 at 9:41 am
Well, every privacy-loving American should do their part to keep poor Bristol and her baby out of the maelstrom of Palin’s VP scrutiny by voting Democrat.
Regardless, according to the daddy’s MySpace (suddenly removed), it seems he’s not quite ready (as most 18 year old boys aren’t) for a family…
According to The NY Daily News:
[quote]On his MySpace page, (Levi) Johnston boasts, “I’m a f - - -in’ redneck” who likes to snowboard and ride dirt bikes.
“But I live to play hockey. I like to go camping and hang out with the boys, do some fishing, shoot some s- - - and just f - - -in’ chillin’ I guess.”
“Ya f - - - with me I’ll kick [your] ass,” he added.
He also claims to be “in a relationship,” but states, “I don’t want kids.” [/quote]
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:11 am
Being the parent of two daughters I can tell you that my wife and I asked them not to have sex before marriage. My wife is very conservative that way.
Then we crossed our fingers like most parents while our kids all grew up like normal kids.
My wife is as conservative and religious as Governor Palin but we also agreed that if one of our daughters got pregnant, a quick marriage was OUT of the question. Why turn a mistake into a full blown catastrophe?
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:19 am
Oh Dan, but maybe they are in looooooooove.
September 2nd, 2008 at 10:21 am
the worst part about this scenario is undoubtedly the hypocracy
it is also how diabolically unfair it is that this girl may have not even known about something called the morning after pill, education could have given her the means to make the choice that would have been the easiest all around
pregnant at 17 in upper class america with parents with the means to hire a nanny for your baby while you finish school, is not being pregnant at 17 at all; being pregnant at 17 for most means grabbing on to food stamps while plunging head first into the system that spews you out as an adult years later into a life you could have avoided
oh and adoption? too young too keep it, and too rich to give it up
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:00 am
I don’t believe we are getting the complete story…
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:23 am
[quote comment="63642"]Being the parent of two daughters I can tell you that my wife and I asked them not to have sex before marriage. My wife is very conservative that way.
Then we crossed our fingers like most parents while our kids all grew up like normal kids.
My wife is as conservative and religious as Governor Palin but we also agreed that if one of our daughters got pregnant, a quick marriage was OUT of the question. Why turn a mistake into a full blown catastrophe?[/quote]
Agree wholeheartedly with that last statement. So glad I opted out of getting pregnant and having kids (yes, yes, I’m a freak, so mother told me)…but I guess for every childless woman like me there are 100 Bristol Palins. What sort of stupid f*cking name is Bristol anyway. Reminds me of rhyming slang, Bristol Cities…oh never mind, sorry, off topic…;0)
I hope to God she at least has more sense than her own mother when it comes to naming her own sprog.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:27 am
Jane: My guess is that the name Bristol has something to do with a secret never to be revealed concerning a night out on the town, somewhere in Alaska, involving another teenage pregnancy, some 17 years ago, and the consumption of an entire bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream. Maybe two.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:43 am
Everything aside, this child is coming into this world through no fault of its own..it didn’t ask to be here, and neither did we…ultimately it is going to be little one who pays for its parents and grandparents mistakes…i wonder if anyone else realises this? Bristol may physically not be like any other pregnant 17 year old, she may have all the means to keep her and her baby “safe”, but the mental hell she will have to endure for the rest of her life will be payment enough..where one person has, another does not but it all equals hell in the end…we only see what we are privvy to see, we don’t know what goes on behind closed doors. But i have a pretty damn good idea, i wonder what their “God” says about anti depressants, and psychiartic treatment? Because i’m betting 10 to 1, Bristol, her baby and maybe the father are going to have a crash course in “non-natural” healing at some point in their lives, just like myself and so many others…
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:06 pm
Dude?!!!!you started smoking again?!!!…damn I was all in place to use you as my inspiration to eventually quit one day…….now I dont have too!
Thanks Matt
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:10 pm
[quote comment="63660"]Jane: My guess is that the name Bristol has something to do with a secret never to be revealed concerning a night out on the town, somewhere in Alaska, involving another teenage pregnancy, some 17 years ago, and the consumption of an entire bottle of Harvey’s Bristol Cream. Maybe two.[/quote]
:0)
Maybe you’re right. So, in the highly unlikely event that I WERE to get ‘knocked up’ then in all probability there is a good chance the resulting offspring will be called “Absolut” or, on a rough night, “Metaxa”…haha
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:15 pm
Divorced by 26? I think you’re being extremely generous.
Who knows what Bristol is thinking about the whole thing? For all we know, she WANTED to get preggers; lots of teens think having a baby is a great idea– you know, something fun, something to love them back, like a puppy but even better. Maybe it was a mistake but she truly does want to keep it and raise it with this dude. Lots of teens are headstrong and think love lasts forever: “I don’t care what you say, Mom, we’re in love and we’re getting married!” And terminating a pregnancy is a pretty difficult thing, no matter what your age or life situation– we shouldn’t automatically assume she actually wanted to. Or maybe they were both just dumbasses and didn’t use protection and are kicking themselves now, but were cornered into this decision because of Mom’s politics. We have no way of knowing.
But, I don’t think it’s really any different than any other teen pregnancy in the country: if your mom is ultra-conservative or strongly opinionated, it doesn’t matter if she’s running for VP or not– you’re probably going to be pressured into doing what she wants. My cousin had a kid at 14, and pretty much had no choice but to carry it to term and then give it up for adoption, her own wishes be damned.
Whatever the scenario… abstinence-only sex ed is completely ridiculous. You don’t have to pass out flavoured lube and start talking about how mind-blowing sex is, but, please, the biological and social basics would be nice.
(Obama’s being very classy about this– not that I would expect otherwise, but good on him.)
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:27 pm
What gets me is that what I ave seen on the news has been more positive towards Gov. Palin. I don’t think her daughter should be brought into the scrutiny, and we know that all of this has to be ten times worse for Bristol than most teenager girls who deal with that. Especially if the guy is a deadbeat, then no matter how much help and money she gets, raising the kid is still going to be harder, even more so now that she is known of.
On the news they give that it could happen to any family, and it probably could. But usually when it happens the parents don’t KNOW how to talk about it. They just say don’t do it, and don’t give that much of a reason why. Although my parents never really had any talk with me, and at school we were probably to young to know it. And I still haven’t gotten laid yet.
Of course I think it was more of the fact that the people here resemble the boyfriend as mentioned in a previous post.
September 2nd, 2008 at 12:44 pm
Wow! Interesting comments ~ way too big of a topic for any to judge and truthfully, I’m sure Bristol wishes that everyone would shut the fuck up and mind their own business. Her mother may be a twit but Bristol is probably quite a nice girl and right now, her plate is LOADED and her 17 year-old self has to make a decision that she will have to live with for the rest of her life.
My mother got pregnant the first time with the loser of the town [Mtl~ just so you don't think some ol hick town haha]…and chose to keep the baby. That was my older sister. When she got pregnant with me, she drove to abort ~ you can imagine my delight that she changed her mind. My father was not present for either birth and to this day, he is still a loser, quite the con artist and I choose to have zero contact.
After 10 years of common law living, my better half and I learned we were expecting. I was 31 ~ much older than 17. I cannot tell you the number of people who said, “So now you have to get married.” We chose not to b/c it was never a priority and becoming pregnant was not the reason to either. 15 years later and two awesome kids, we continue to enjoy our family without the pretense of a marriage certificate [what's the purpose of that thing anyway? someone says you are so......you are???]
My heart goes out to Bristol and her baby and I hope that she steps back from it all to properly evaluate her reality, needs and wants. At the end of the day, she will be the one to have to look in the mirror and so she has to make the right decision for herself ~ one that she can live with.
Regarding Sarah Palin’s comment on having a downs baby ~ and I speak from experience having being pregnant twice and refusing all neonatal testing to avoid putting my fetus at risk. Every pregnant woman prays for the health of her baby. For me, my pregnancy mantra was: what will be, will be. Because at the end of the day, there are countless diseases, deformalities and complications that could be your hurdle but would it affect the love that you have for this life that now sits in your arms?
I am fascinated at how well the press magnifies issues but when I see the look in this GIRL’s eyes and know the challenge she has ahead of her, I get so fucking mad! In my opinion, like everything else, this falls back on how fucked up our society is. Yes, we should be proactive in educating our children about sex but this does not mean that parents don’t have to address and openly talk about it at home. Quite frankly, I don’t think families even talk anymore ~ they text and are lucky if they see their parents/children each day. Busy, busy, busy = $$$. The more you have the more you want; The more you want, the more you have….
As a side note, enroute to the awesome Toronto Zoo this past week-end, I was trapped at the back of our friends’ mini van with Nickelback blasting………..F~U~C~K !!!!!! LOL
Thanks for letting me rant…I feel much better now.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:15 pm
[quote comment="63652"]I don’t believe we are getting the complete story…[/quote]
Roy, I’m with you.
And bang-on Matt. Have the child, yes, but making her marry is a disaster waiting to happen. At 43 years of age and thinking back I am so glad I never had to marry my 14 year old GF.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:32 pm
It’s one thing to have strong beliefs, it’s another thing to force them onto others. She’s forcing them onto her daughter, and she’s going to force them onto the entire country.
I have a HUGE problem that she is against sex education. Many parents don’t educate their kids about sex, so how else are they going to know how to be safe? Not only is the teen pregnancy rate very high, STDs are spreading like wildfire among teens. It’s about getting the right information to make the right choices.
Frankly, Sarah Palin drives me crazy. Plus, really, she’s got to stop popping out kids. And no more moose burgers.
September 2nd, 2008 at 1:48 pm
Obama may truly intend to be taking the high road on this, but I’m crying bullshit.
Because Parlin was brought in due to her hard stance on so many issues related to this, (it certainly wasn’t her experience!), such as anti abortion/pro abstinence; and her being a mother of 5 - then this is VERY relevant.
The republicans laid out the mat, the media is merely walking on it.
While I like what James Carville said, how he wouldn’t want his parents to be held accountable for his actions as a kid, that is the raison d’etre for Parlin’s running. Her abilities as a mother and hard stance on traditional family values.
You go this deep into public life, your life becomes public. It ain’t right but it happens. She could have passed on the offer to run with McCain. She might’ve if she had known about this.
To me, if true, it’s relevant.
But Roy’s right, tip of the ice berg. Keep digging and there’ll be more to the story.
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:47 pm
[quote comment="63683"]But Roy’s right, tip of the ice berg. Keep digging and there’ll be more to the story.[/quote]
You mean like this Gardian story that Gov. Sarah Palin once was a member of an Alaskan political party which advocated secession from the United States:
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2008/sep/02/uselections2008.republicans20085.
The un-tip of the iceberg?
September 2nd, 2008 at 2:53 pm
I’m knocked up too, but wait, I’ve been married for 6 years and it was planned…. no scandle here. lol
September 2nd, 2008 at 3:01 pm
Abstinence until marriage doesn’t work on so many levels. Statistically, it results in the following:
a) Increased experimentation in just about everything but “traditional” sex. Oral, anal, you name it, and the abstinence people do it more because it “doesn’t count”. That episode of Family Guy where the abstinence kids are doing it in the ear is actually not that far off…
b) Because the abstinence programs love to focus on the failures of birth control, the kids greatly underestimate their effectiveness and don’t use them when they finally do give in (and most DO give in, despite the occasional anecdotal evidence that says otherwise).
It’s also not uncommon for it to cause the following, though I’m not sure if studies have verified them yet:
a) It seems to cause people to get married sooner and (surprise, surprise…) divorce more often because their marriage was partly intended to see what all the sex fuss is about.
b) It can cause unexpected strain on a marriage to find out that two people are sexually incompatible. People can believe all they want that it wouldn’t matter, but if you learn on the honeymoon that your husband or wife is into some weird things, I imagine that things could get awkward. Better to learn that before making such a huge commitment.
I’m all for people wanting to practice abstinence until marriage themselves, but it’s silly to force a program that doesn’t work on children.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:13 pm
Matt Good. Is this where you read the headlines and give your opinion on them? Where can we post our opinions on you? Here? No, if we posted them here, you’d most likely delete them wouldnt you? Sure you would. I’d make a million dollars, if I could, if I too was an asshole, like Matthew Good.
September 2nd, 2008 at 4:32 pm
Those look like Boy Scout uniforms in the background. If so, nice touch. Wholesome.
September 2nd, 2008 at 5:29 pm
You know, parents do things that they don’t think through. When I was 17 and was using my parents car to visit my girlfriend, I had forgotten my wallet in their car. My dad must have been curious to see what was in there and decided to have a look. Upon finding a condom, he decided that it would be best for everyone involved if he removed it. He didn’t approach me to ask if I had slept with the girl yet, or even to ask where I had gotten the condom from. He simply took it. Now what would have he thought if junior got all hot and heavy with his little princess and reached for his “love glove” only to find it gone, then decided to go bareback just because he was curious about this new found orifice? Then to find out he would be dealing with a whole new world of unhappiness when junior tells him what the outcome of the “condom removal program was”. No religion included, just not alot of common sense.
Now I’m not knocking my dad here, because I know he was only looking out for me. Just didn’t really like the way some things were approached. This being one of them.
It’s too bad that some parents don’t look at the long term. But nobody needs a license to have kids do they?
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:40 pm
maybe he was borrowing it.
September 2nd, 2008 at 6:41 pm
[quote comment="63683"]Obama may truly intend to be taking the high road on this, but I’m crying bullshit.
Because Parlin was brought in due to her hard stance on so many issues related to this, (it certainly wasn’t her experience!), such as anti abortion/pro abstinence; and her being a mother of 5 - then this is VERY relevant.
The republicans laid out the mat, the media is merely walking on it.
While I like what James Carville said, how he wouldn’t want his parents to be held accountable for his actions as a kid, that is the raison d’etre for Parlin’s running. Her abilities as a mother and hard stance on traditional family values.
You go this deep into public life, your life becomes public. It ain’t right but it happens. She could have passed on the offer to run with McCain. She might’ve if she had known about this.
To me, if true, it’s relevant.
But Roy’s right, tip of the ice berg. Keep digging and there’ll be more to the story.[/quote]
Amen Patrick Pitt
September 2nd, 2008 at 7:34 pm
I think I dreamed that I saw you in concert in Buffalo last Friday, that it was fantasic as I anticipated, and that I almost had the guts to come over to the tour bus, (but didn’t). Wait, it did happen, and thanks for making a stop in Buffalo once again.
As for the Bristol Palin situation, I think the shotgun wedding story is just damage control for not being able to keep this secret inside the igloo. I am sure the hockey boyfriend is enjoying the instant celebrity that comes along with knocking up/marrying the governor/vice presidential candidate’s daughter. He shoots and he scores!!!
Bristol probably has the typical delusional teenage fantasies of playing house and that marriage at age 17 to her hockey jock will last forever.
I sincerely doubt the wedding will ever take place, but I guess what’s really important in the end is that this baby is born healthy and loved.
September 2nd, 2008 at 11:17 pm
Mostly it’s unfortunate Bristol’s mind has already been made up by ” the powers that be “. God if having a baby at 17 isn’t hard enough I can’t imagine the extent of thoughts and worry twirling around that girls brain.
I too was knocked up at 17,kept the baby,ditched the boyfriend (26 years old) who actually wanted to get married. I was fortunate enough to have the luxury of making up my own mind and doing my own problem solving around the consequences. Quite frankly,I couldn’t imaging my life any other way. But at least it was my choice.
It’ s nice to have you back Matt, somehow doesn’t feel the same without you here. I’m happy to see you still blogging. I’d wondered if you’d felt obligated,but either way I’m grateful that you do what you do; musically and otherwise. Deanne
September 3rd, 2008 at 12:53 am
The high school I went to boasted the highest teen pregnancy rate in the State of Washington, this was back in 2000. Unfortunately I have no statistics to back this up, but this was something we all knew, we all saw and we all believed. We had a daycare center at the high school for the children of students and almost every class that I was in throughout my 4 years of high school had a student in it that was pregnant. I remember seeing these girls and who they were, where they came from and how their lives changed. The majority of them did not come from stable homes and they passed that instability onto their own children.
Unfortunately I don’t think there was a single girl that surprised me when she announced she was pregnant. I do know of several that had abortions but our community is small and religious, the type of community where there is a church every two blocks. I don’t know if these girls knew they had a choice, it’s almost like this was what was expected of them and they were just playing their part.
I remember seeing them living in the crappy apartments off of one of the few main roads in town and it scared me. Many of these girls were my childhood friends; I was scared that that was what was expected of me. That life. That fear drove me through school and drove me right out of the Skagit Valley.
Now I find myself in another small town in another state and I see the same thing. Young woman who don’t understand the consequences. They don’t understand the expectations that their community has of them, they don’t know their own potential. Maybe it’s the way they were raised, maybe it’s the community. It takes a village to raise a child, I think that applies here. I think from what I’ve seen if the communities were more active in showing these at risk teenage girls that they have the potential to be more than unwed teenage mothers, more of these girls would make smarter choices. I know when you feel like that’s all your community expects from you, that’s pretty devastating and it’s easy to fall into the stereotype.
I know that doesn’t really apply to Bristol Palin, but she is not the typical pregnant teenager.
My baby sister just graduated high school this year. Let me tell you we all breathed a big sigh of relief because honestly there is only so much you can do to teach her how to make smart decisions. The rest is up to her and it’s a scary world when your baby goes out into it all on her own.
September 3rd, 2008 at 8:48 am
I read in this morning’s Province newspaper that the 17 year old father to this child is a self described “redneck” who never intended to have kids….
train wreck