Being that there has never really been a need for me to take drugs to regain mental stability but always was more a matter of relaxing myself and finding some relief in talking about my life and all the dark and sad times of it - I am quite sure that it isn’t BD. I think if it was, there would be an inevitable need for medication considering the degree of suffering this illness is imposing on people affected in most cases. I think Matt’s story, accessible to everyone on this site, is the best example for that and it also shows the dark sides of ataractic medication. Luckily, my personal degree of suffering keeps relatively tolerable so that medication isn’t necessary.

When I was about 7 and for a second time when I was 13, my mother took an overdose of some unknown mixture of painkillers and ataractics, then settled beside my bed blaming me for doing this and then again apologizing about it and crying. My older sister and I made her vomit and so everything came to a lucky end. But since that day I view ataractics as something totally terrifying and dangerous. It often changes the personality of people dramatically, especially if they take them over a long period of time. It is still there, that fear. I realize that every time Matt posts an entry that is striking his daily drug taking routine and the “little critical incedents” it has caused so far.
I swore to myself that I would keep away from medication as long as I don’t explecitely need it, meaning, as long as I am able to take part in life and feel sort of happy with it - even if there’s times when I am clearly unhappy.

You put it perfectly. The RNC sure had a feeling of a revival meeting.

I never suggested that one can’t both vote and engage in other political actions. I was just responded to comments that seem to elevate voting above all other forms of political expression and that suggested that not voting was not a valid statement.

I guess we feel differently about voting strategies. In my riding it will be a fight between the Liberal and NDP candidates. In this particular election I’ll likely vote NDP because I know that the individual is a strong-willed yet humble politician and that the vote will be close enough to warrant my participation. In other ridings and in other cases however, I may feel differently about the candidate or the situation. There are some ridings where voting patterns have not changed in decades.

At the heart of the problem is our electoral system. Some quick facts from the Fair Vote Canada website:

“In the 2006 federal election, more than 650,000 Green Party voters across the country elected no one. Meanwhile, fewer than a half-million Liberal voters in Atlantic Canada alone elected 20 MPs. In the prairie provinces, Conservatives won three times as many votes as the Liberals, but were given nearly ten times as many seats. But more than 400,000 Conservative voters in Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver couldn’t elect a single MP. The NDP attracted a million more votes than the Bloc, but the voting system gave the Bloc 51 seats and the NDP 29.

What about majority rule? Canadians are usually ruled by majority governments that the majority voted against. In some provincial elections, parties coming in second in the popular vote have won majority control of the legislature. In other cases, the opposition is sometimes reduced to a seat or two (and in one case, none at all) despite representing forty percent of the electorate.”

Voting for a losing candidate does not produce any results, other than numbers that the party can spout and that knowledge is disheartening to me. To refrain from voting out of apathy is ignorant, but I believe that to do so for a good reason (i.e. in the states, where the ballot choice is minimal and both major party candidates are bought and paid for by corporate interests) represents a valid political action.

Emily:

At the moment, I can’t afford the time to volunteer and I find it difficult to stay informed about protests and such, but I’m happy to say that I’ve never been an uninformed voter (my parents were a big influence on me in this respect) and I believe that one shouldn’t vote unless informed in some way. No need to be a political expert or anything, but have some knowledge about party platforms and major issues. Everyone should take some time before the upcoming American and Canadian elections to get some information about the candidates, parties and issues and make a choice on who to vote for (or not to vote, if they so choose).

I just want to caution you that Bipolar and ADHD symptoms can be mistaken for one another and can be misdiagnosed, esp. in teenagers. If your doctor plans to start you on an ADHD med, I would suggest you keep a daily log to track your moods, energy levels, sleep, etc… If your symptoms become exacerbated and you destabilize after multiple trials of meds, you may have an underlying mood disorder considering you still have bouts of depression and anxiety. Many people also have a dualing diagnosis, which can be difficult to treat.

I am in no way disagreeing with your Doctor. He has the final say. I just want you to keep this in mind and be your own advocate. Soak up all the info out there like a sponge to stay well informed.[/quote]

My doctor actually plans to get me behavioural therapy to get some structure into my day. Following Matts entries I did of course check back with the doctor about the possibility of bipolar disorder. I don’t suffer episodes of mania as reported by people having BD, that makes the difference. Anxiety attacks usually appear connected to certain situations, especially such that seem to take control off of me (airplanes for example, elevators). I also used to experience panic attacks when I knew I would inevitably run into my ex-partner somewhere. So it is not that all-of-a-sudden-being-electrocuted by severe anxiety.[/quote]

I never had classic mania or hypomania. There is a broad spectrum to this illness that is very misunderstood. The DSM which comes out (I think) in 2011, will have the updated diagnostic criteria for mood disorders. I have a very subtle form, which like Matt, was exacerbated by antidepressants that caused increased anxiety and worsening of depression and mixed states. I have been in remission for about 12 years now on a regime of Effexor and Lamictal. I go through some mild symptoms with seasonal changes and have to take klonopin when I start to sleep less and feel wired. Nothing that interupts my daily routine. Life is pretty good.

I just want to caution you that Bipolar and ADHD symptoms can be mistaken for one another and can be misdiagnosed, esp. in teenagers. If your doctor plans to start you on an ADHD med, I would suggest you keep a daily log to track your moods, energy levels, sleep, etc… If your symptoms become exacerbated and you destabilize after multiple trials of meds, you may have an underlying mood disorder considering you still have bouts of depression and anxiety. Many people also have a dualing diagnosis, which can be difficult to treat.

I am in no way disagreeing with your Doctor. He has the final say. I just want you to keep this in mind and be your own advocate. Soak up all the info out there like a sponge to stay well informed.[/quote]

My doctor actually plans to get me behavioural therapy to get some structure into my day. Following Matts entries I did of course check back with the doctor about the possibility of bipolar disorder. I don’t suffer episodes of mania as reported by people having BD, that makes the difference. Anxiety attacks usually appear connected to certain situations, especially such that seem to take control off of me (airplanes for example, elevators). I also used to experience panic attacks when I knew I would inevitably run into my ex-partner somewhere. So it is not that all-of-a-sudden-being-electrocuted by severe anxiety.

[quote comment="64090"]
Thank you all so much for the feedback. It helps so much. I love my friends and family but regarding my illness I have to keep everything to myself most of the time since they wouldn’t understand. So being here often gives me the feeling of not being alone with these problems.[/quote]
My son has ADD and the daily challenges he faces I would think would overwhelm most people- (getting beat up, ridicule, difficulties keeping friends, not getting invited to social events, focusing during class, continually being told he’s lazy and will never amount to anything, the list goes on)–I honestly marvel at how he keeps his head up despite the rejection and criticism directed at him every day. He has never wanted to accept that he has ADD–it has never been a comfort to him that he has been challenged with a condition–that it isn’t his choice, and that things that arenaturally easy for others are more difficult for him–he still refuses medication and therapy and won’t read my books on ADD, and insists that ADD is no “excuse” for his failures. It breaks my heart–he thinks we can’t understand, maybe we can’t (certainly his father can’t), but I believe I can understand at least to a limited extent. I wish he would accept our help, but he is too proud to say he needs it.
He has found music, and his guitar is his best friend–he plays it obsessively, and I think he’s pretty good–speed metal is his favourite (the faster the better). He starts a new band every few weeks, I think the members lose their patience with him. He once told me that only crack-heads like guys like him (there are many things wrong with that statement, I know).
He likes MG and accompanies me to his shows, and although he doesn’t visit the site, I tell him all about the people here and the stories they tell about their own challenges.
Sadly, I think he simply refuses to be labelled, sees that as an admission of some sort of flaw that cannot be eradicated, that he would become part of the “defective” group or something like that–I won’t pretend I understand that part of his philosophy, but misplaced pride and perhaps some uncharacteristic bending to society’s expectations may be factors.
If you have any advice about what I can say to him that would get through, I’d appreciate it.

On topic: the election–I vote as green as I can. Many people think that is a waste of a vote, but it is my message to the major parties about what direction I hope they take in their policies. Depending on who is running in my riding, sometimes I have to vote NDP, because that is as close as I can get to green. My riding is likely the most conservative riding in Canada–wish I’d thought of that when I chose where to buy my house all those years ago.

Yes, I’m sure you did.
For what I can tell of myself:
this site is one of the few places where I can onpenly speak about my mental problems. On wednesday I got my ultimate diagnoses of ADHD which is, as it now turns out, responsible for many of the problems I had and still have with depression and anxiety. Without your blog it would have never come to my mind that I was hyperactive as a kid and thus developped multiple disorders in behavior and I’d never linked that to the depression I was suffering from.
Before I started to regularely drop in, I wasn’t half as aware of what was going on in my life and I wanna say thank you for that.[/quote]

Tuuli22

I just want to caution you that Bipolar and ADHD symptoms can be mistaken for one another and can be misdiagnosed, esp. in teenagers. If your doctor plans to start you on an ADHD med, I would suggest you keep a daily log to track your moods, energy levels, sleep, etc… If your symptoms become exacerbated and you destabilize after multiple trials of meds, you may have an underlying mood disorder considering you still have bouts of depression and anxiety. Many people also have a dualing diagnosis, which can be difficult to treat. I am in no way disagreeing with your Doctor. He has the final say. I just want you to keep this in mind and be your own advocate. Soak up all the info out there like a sponge to stay well informed.

Unfortunately, voting is the only form of protest I can afford. Protests are far and few between in my town, and because I don’t drive, traveling to a city center like Toronto or even London costs me a minimum of $200 easy. (Have to take the train, can’t go home the same night, so I’m going to need a place to stay, etc.)

Having said that, I will be taking at least a day to go to the different party headquarters to see what they have to offer for my particular issue (as discribed in my first comment, before the topic shifted to mental health issues - which are generally just fine finding wise, it’s just the stigma that needs to be addressed). I will not go to vote uninformed. And if I don’t get a reasonable answer from any one party, than I will spoil my vote…and vote Obama.

Yes it is, and I apologize to all who ever took me the wrong way.[/quote]

Look, I don’t know you. And I haven’t the slightest clue about why you do what you’re actually doing. I just know that you use every way possible to make public how much you dislike Matt’s way of communicating with his fans, the public and his openness about his political beliefs and personal aspects.
And look: you are demanding the right to be respected and not to be “censored” by people. But you are doing the exact same thing: you deleted a comment of mine to one of your facebook-publications about Matthew Good simply because it wasn’t in english and you obviously feared harrassment. So that makes your outrage about how you yourself were treated in this forum seem very little authentic.
But after all, have a nice day.

I really needed to hear that right at this moment in time… So, thank you!!!!

Just remember not to let a diagnosis define you as a person. Someone is still the same person after they get a diagnosis as they were before; they’re just able to put problems into a fuller context. It may be disappointing that it cannot be “cured”, but on a positive note, ADHD symptoms often subside throughout early to mid adulthood. It’s not a certainty, but more of a general trend. I wish you the best of luck. I’ve been lucky to have had very little psychological trouble (other than the occasional bouts of depression that have come and gone over the last few years…ironically, right AFTER the teenage years lol), but as a psyc major, it is definitely a topic close to my heart. On top of that, my girlfriend has bipolar, so Matt’s disclosures about his personal life have also helped me develop a better picture of what she is going through. I know that I’ll never fully understand, regardless of my education or observations, but every little bit helps.[/quote]

Thank you all so much for the feedback. It helps so much. I love my friends and familiy but regarding my illness I have to keep everything to myself most of the time since they wouldn’t understand. So being here often gives me the feeling of not being alone with these problems. That’s why mean-spirited, inconsiderate attacks such as that by Chad just hit me: it’s sheer impersonalized ignorance that unfortunately stands representative for the major part of our human community.

Yeah, that “difficult childhood thing” is also very familiar to me. Due to my mother very likely being affected too by the disease, we both were pretty much overburdened with one another when I was young: me being just a difficult child pestering people with questions all day long and my mother simply not having the nerves to stand all that.

[quote comment="64076"]Just remember the positive of ADD : ADD often compels those who own it to give society a push when the norm would give up the idea, it is the ADD person who is courageously not afraid to speak, creates connections easily, multitasks well, is very good in a crisis, is not contained by unnecessary boundaries, is usually quite creative, energetic, passionate, persistent, philisophical, good at organising others, hypersensitive and intuitive, fearless (impulsive in a good way) talkative, versatile, holds many interests, and most importantly, always willing to help others…..[/quote]

Well, being that I too often experienced it a rather negative attribute, being energetic and vigorous, I unfortunately internalized it as “unsuitable” since it simply often scared people off.
That’s when you try too much to get yourself under control which often leads to depression as a side effect (that’s at least what my doctor says). I lost a lot of self confidence through it. But yea, in the end, I have a lot of power in me and I wouldn’t go for a degree in history and politics if there weren’t some of the positive aspects about my personality you mentioned above ;)

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!![/quote]

Well, I don’t know exactly what I did to earn it, but you’re very welcome!

THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I agree with you about multiparty systems, by the way. Our system is a far cry from being perfect, but the more diverse the representation in Parliament, the better, in my opinion.

Just remember not to let a diagnosis define you as a person. Someone is still the same person after they get a diagnosis as they were before; they’re just able to put problems into a fuller context. It may be disappointing that it cannot be “cured”, but on a positive note, ADHD symptoms often subside throughout early to mid adulthood. It’s not a certainty, but more of a general trend. I wish you the best of luck. I’ve been lucky to have had very little psychological trouble (other than the occasional bouts of depression that have come and gone over the last few years…ironically, right AFTER the teenage years lol), but as a psyc major, it is definitely a topic close to my heart. On top of that, my girlfriend has bipolar, so Matt’s disclosures about his personal life have also helped me develop a better picture of what she is going through. I know that I’ll never fully understand, regardless of my education or observations, but every little bit helps.