Earlier today I received an email from a Canadian soldier regarding a recent article published by The Globe And Mail about the suicide of Major Michelle Mendes. The soldier, whose name I will not reveal for reasons of confidentiality, knew her and provided some interesting insights that can’t be found in the Globe’s article…
“How did this poor thing make it past the screeners? That social worker should be hanged. And I love how this follow up article flies under the radar. The Canadian media loves to romanticize the story but the reality is she was a combat/army officer not fit to be over there. Nobody wants to go on record saying that out of “respect” because that would be bad publicity for her questionable deployment. And that doesn’t sell papers.
I saw her become a total ball of stress. But because she was a female and she did a reasonable job she was considered stellar among her male counterparts. And that’s not judgment, I knew her for a long time.”
Mendes’ rise through the ranks was notable, but she completely lacked field experience and had suffered a “physical and emotional breakdown” that led to a five month leave of absence in early 2008 before returning to duty. That being the case, who in their right mind thought it a good idea to give her the second highest NATO intelligence position for six of the most caustic Provinces in southern Afghanistan? Mendes was only in Afghanistan in that position for four days before she shot herself.
Another troubling aspect from a mental health perspective is her behaviour before leaving for Afghanistan. From the Globe article linked above…
“…in the weeks before she flew to Kandahar, she made extra time for friends and left “others special treats they knew were crafted by her hand and assembled for them.”
The soldier’s email contained the following with regards to that…
“…before going you’re not baking cookies and making cards for friends. You’re getting your game face on and checking everything that has to be checked 20 times and then 20 times again. You’re mentally preparing yourself for what’s ahead you’re not being Martha Stewart. That might sound sexist but it’s not meant to. It’s reality.”
Such behaviour can certainly be construed as a serious warning sign with regards to suicide, especially if the individual planning on taking their life is determined to do so. In many cases when individuals attempt to take their own lives they do so as a cry for help. That said, in such cases suicide attempts aren’t truly premeditated. Serious premeditation occurs when an individual is not looking for others to intervene on their behalf because of their emotional state, but because they have decided to die. In such cases it is not uncommon for no warning signs to be present, or for the individual to ‘say goodbye’ through actions or conversations that don’t betray their intent but are enough to satisfy a personal sense of closure.
Ultimately, one has to ask why someone that had endured an emotional collapse was given such an assignment? As someone that suffers from a mental illness, this entire affair troubles me to the core. There is, without question, more to Mendes’ story than is being reported. At present I am not willing to delve into that underside, at least not without multiple sources willing to go on the record about it.
The soldier’s last statement in their email was the most profound…
“I’d love to go on the news and look the camera dead in the eye and tell it like it is to the public and NDHQ: “This is BS. How many more have to go to stroke your egos? Pick a direction and run with it because the country is growing numb to the casualties and I don’t know how much longer I can stomach it.”