… to pay more attention to my breath. Breath is life they say, and we all do a lot of breathing. Sometimes I catch myself holding it, sometimes I’m keeping it shallow, and all too rarely I let myself breathe deeply. The correlation between stress, relaxation and the way we breathe are well documented. I will attempt to direct some awareness towards that because I know given my situation, it could be a good thing, Martha.
… to choose a day in which I remind every person I meet that “we’re all in this together”. Sound stupid? I mean it I will without hesitation, stammer, or an inference in inflection of insincerity, say “we’re all in this together” to every little soul I meet on a given day sometime this year. Of course, I may slightly change the statement to the effect of “we’re all in this shitboat together” or “we’re all fucked in this unmerciful tide of derelict historical repetitious slavery together”. It’ll depend on the day’s mood, really.
… to finish my goddamn poetry book. So what if I think no one cares about poetry. So what if I never sell a single copy beyond friends and family. I wrote the shit and I’ll publish the shit just to see the shit come to physical being. Just to know that I had put to print that which was important to me, formative for me, and above all, an act of expression which has been intrinsic to who I am. And when I do publish it, I’ll give at least one public reading of some of my favourites- of which I will not apologize for, berate myself about, or otherwise lowball myself. A no fear move. I might require medication and alcohol to achieve this effect.
… to stay positive about my physical situation, and financial/legal one. It’s all too easy to imagine the horrors of “what ifs” about the future, and also far too easy to forego the happiness of a moment for the possibility of the dreadfulness that may lie ahead. I truly live in a wealthy country on a beautiful land mass with a wonderful family and a gorgeous woman at my side. I need to take that in and shove it up my worry.
… to tell my Dad how he’s let me down, what’s been burning a hole in my chest some 15 years, and who I am today. Seriously there’s monkeys and skeletons that he will not take to his grave, thank you very much. It’s going to be a bold slice into the skin of our already tattered relationship, and one in which I can’t possibly reveal in print. Suffice it to say, there’s a chance in there somewhere for a real connection, and I’ll be dammed if I don’t go for broke and try and hit straight up with the man.
… to volunteer somewhere in my community. Seriously, there’s so many agencies in need of public volunteerism, and though I work in the social services, it would be great to even contribute a few hours every week to a place I support. Unfortunately, there’s a great deal of options in Hamilton when it comes to community support, so I know I won’t have an issue finding somewhere near by that I can pitch in at.
… to lose weight. Since I’m resolving things, I might as well go for broke and lose weight while I’m at it. A cool 2.5-3lbs would be terrific. Just the extra cut around my ankles and thighs. I want to wear sandals and shorts in the summer, and currently my slightly slagging slack-look is crimping my skinny style. I think cutting back on processed cheese should accomplish that sufficently in 3.5 months. I just read a whole book dedicated to the perils of processed cheese, Processed To Death: The Indestructible Killer Lurking in Vaccum-Sealed Plastic Inside Your Refridgerator (2nd Revision). A real eye opener.
All the best to all of you in the brand new shiny 2008 calendar year. Don’t forget about the leap year. There’s a whole extra 24 hours before my birthday this year, time enough to get me something last minute without coming off daft. Mail me for gift ideas and my mailing address.